Book Description
Thucydides, Gibbon, Tuchman, McCullough-to the names of the world's great historians must now be added the name of Dave Barry, who has taken a long, hard look at our new millennium (so far) and, when he stopped hyperventilating, has written it all down, because nobody would believe it otherwise.

In November 2000, the skies darken over Florida as hundreds of thousands of lawyers parachute into the state from bombers, while in 2002, the federal budget surplus mysteriously disappears ("Everybody looks high and low for it, but the darned thing is gone!"). In April 2003, no WMD have been found, but investigators do discover three barrels of lard, described by U.S. intelligence analysts as "a heart attack waiting to happen," while in 2004, an already troubled nation receives an even greater blow: the sight of Janet Jackson's exposed nipple. In 2005, Katrina, Cindy, Harriet, Martha, Valerie, Paris, Michael Jackson-women just got crazy that year-while in November 2006 . . . well, something happened; it'll come back to us.

Plus, an extra added bonus-Dave Barry's complete history of the millennium so recently (and unlamentedly) gone: Crusaders! Vikings! Peter Minuit's purchase of Manhattan for $24, plus $167,000 a month in maintenance fees! The invention of pizza by Leonardo da Vinci and of the computer by Charles Babbage (who died in 1871 still waiting to talk to somebody from Technical Support)!

Liberally illustrated with line drawings, filled with facts and commentary that will amaze your friends and confound your enemies (yes, we mean you, Osama!), this is the book that will finally earn Dave Barry his second Pulitzer Prize. And about darned time, too. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (17)

BEST WHEN LISTENED TO---
I have always been a Dave Barry fan, but, like some other reviewers, just could not get into the humor when I first picked up the book...and put it away unfinished. Then I recently received as a gift the Audio version, which is unabridged and read by Patrick Frederic...AND LOVED IT.I have a 2 hour commute to work and listened to it then---and the other commuters must have thought I was some kind of escaped lunatic---I was screaming with laughter!For some reason, Patrick Frederic's delivery of the lines is so much funnier than my reading of the lines in my head.My 2 hr. commute flew by...I was actually wishing it was longer!!

Dave Barry's History of the Millennium
Let's face it...Dave Barry has always been the funniest man ever to lift a pen to his art and prose. Of course, he's had many a wonderful American predecessor to learn from, Twain and O'Roarke...but Dave has not only mastered them, but surpassed them.

In this book, he takes poltical satire to a masterful level. Some how,he takes many of the aburdities of the day to day frustrations of our every day news, and brilliantly transformed it into satire that no other political author could ever acheives.

He is simple, to the point, and razor like in his intuitions about everything under the sun.

And like a true artist, he makes this look easy.

Why he does not get credit for his great insight into human events, actually baffles me...maybe it's because, like any true genius, he can take the truth and instead of letting it get us down, he makes us laugh about it, which makes it of course less of a threat and easier to bear.

This book will delight and inform you, and if you are wise enough to listen between the lines...it might just make you think.

Which is something we could all be doing a little more.

Hilarious History (for those who know the real story)
Anyone who follows Dave Barry's syndicated newspaper columns need read no review of DAVE BARRY'S HISTORY OF THE MILLENNIUM (SO FAR).This slim, 208-page book is typical Barry, an admixture of non sequiturs that adds up to a most amusing romp through history with some of the most hilarious "causes and effects" and comparisons that one can imagine.

As with his shorter newspaper columns, I do find Barry's humor just a little uneven, ranging from the chuckle to the laugh-out-loud level, and that's just about the most critical thing I can say for this "history" book of his.I must also admit that I can't enjoy plunging into a straight 208 pages of humor writing, so I broke it up into five or six sittings, although it would be quite possible for devoted Barry afficionados to devour the book in a single gulp were they so inclined.

There is one noticeable hiccup in the book, one short serious comment where Barry's tongue-in-cheek review of the year 2001 should fall.Because of the destruction of the World Trade Center in that year, he chose not to treat any of its events humorously and so simply skipped it.In later chapters, however, he does not hesitate to mention the terrorist bombings in London, nor does he skip other years because of horrendous tragedies (such as the destruction of New Orleans by Hurricane Katrina, for instance).Considering this as well as the fact that well-handled humor can be a very healing experience, I am unable to see Barry's excuse to avoid the events of 2001 entirely as anything other than an uncharacteristic failure on his part, and it weakens the overall enjoyment of the book.

There is one final limitation that must be mentioned, but it is a limitation brought into the picture by the reader, not the author.Because Barry's humor depends largely on his readers' understanding of the real events that he parodies, anyone who come to his book with no knowledge of national and world affairs will find his humor less engaging than they otherwise would.Of course, I would not expect to find such an intellectual hermit browsing Amazon.com in the first place, but it is something that readers should bear in mind if they are seeking a gift for a social recluse.

Readers with a decent knowledge of the movers and shakers in recent history will enjoy Barry's lampooning of their activities and will find HISTORY OF THE MILLENNIUM (SO FAR) a refreshing break from the "serious" news of the day.Consider the reading of this book similar to playing at recess between English and math classes in elementary school!

Codpieces Of Passion
I have been a longtime fan of Dave Barry, and eagerly awaited his latest book, a compilation of six years (2000-2006) worth of his "Year in Review" columns, minus 2001 which was not really suitable for satire in his (or my) opinion. The book starts off with a historical introduction (called, appropriately enough, "Y1K") bringing the reader up to the jumping-off point for these columns. I found this part of the book the weakest overall, although I found numerous gems buried in it. Who knew that the first Gutenberg book was "Codpieces of Passion" by Danielle Steel, or that when Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, the first thing he actually said was "Watson, hold my calls."?

The remainder of the book is nothing more than a compilation of columns summarizing events of the year filled with typical half-truths and innuendoes: in other words, it's classic Dave Barry. I found most of these to be amusing and worth reading again, as I read all of them in the paper when they were originally published. Certain targets are skewered more regularly than others for obvious reasons (George W. Bush, Al Gore, Madonna, Britney Spears, Nancy Pelosi, etc.) but the net result is actually culturally representative of the news as covered by the media in the respective years. I found the coverage of Greta Van Susteren and her multi-year obsession with a single case in Aruba, and the obvious Larry King references, to be especially revealing of the lack of depth in certain segments of the American media.

This isn't Dave's best book, but it's still plenty funny, and it is more culturally relevant than many of his others. In other words, I recommend this book...and I am not making this up.

Another Hysterical Classic from Barry
I think Dave Barry is one of the funniest, if not the funniest writer on the planet.An occasional column of his is a dud, but that's excusable for someone with so much out there.When I picked up this book, I thought it may have some weak spots, but it does not.The book is funny from beginning to end, sometimes guffaw funny, sometimes snicker funny, and sometimes laugh-out-loud funny.

As I read the book I felt that maybe I figured out his system, or his technique, and I could guess the punch line before it came, but that was not the case.He was never predictable and always suprised me with the comical completions of his prose.If you want to laugh a lot, get this book. ... Read more

Amazon.com
Dave runs American history through the wringer, and comes up with some wonderfully warped formulations. (The Vikings, for example, "were extremely rugged individuals whose idea of a fun time was to sail over and set fire to England, which in those days was fairly easy to ignite because it had a very high level of thatch, this being the kind of roof favored by the local tribespeople...") Covering pre-Columbian days through the dawn of the Bush administration, Dave Barry Slept Here is the funniest thing to hit this great nation since the Smoot-Hawley Tariff of 1930.Book Description
If you love to laugh, if you love your country, if you are unaware that "the Sixth Amendment states that if you are accused of a crime, you have the right to a trial before a jury of people too stupid to get out of jury duty," Dave Barry Slept Here is the book for you. Every single momentous event and crucial movement is covered, including:

The Birthing Contractions of a Nation
Kicking Some British Butt
The Forging of a Large, Wasteful Bureaucracy
The Civil War: A Nation Pokes Itself in the Eyeball
The Fifties: Peace, Prosperity, Brain Death
The Reagan-Bush Years: Napping Toward Glory
And much more! ... Read more

Customer Reviews (49)

The Funniest Book I've Ever Read
Dave Barry's "Dave Barry Slept Here" is a hilarious pseudo/satire-history of the United States.Anyone familiar with Dave Barry's wit from his columns will immediately recognize the same wit unleashed on so much of our history that we have heard, if not necessarily really learned, throughout our lives.

Dave Barry writes like a high-school student - intentionally, of course.He attributes great advances to "technology," isn't interested in the Smoot-Hawley Tariff so he skips it because it sounds boring, and decides that every important event in American history happened on October 8th so that he doesn't have to remember any more dates (even the Fourth of July happened on October 8th, 1776).And he ends every chapter with hilarious "discussion questions" that are just as funny as the text.

I've read and re-read this hilarious book, and it's great to just pick up and start reading in the middle whenever you need a good chuckle.Anyone who likes Dave Barry, enjoys American history, or is interested in what three-word sentence you can rearrange the letters in "Spiro Agnew" to spell (hint: the first word is "grow") should read this book and enjoy!

Barry at his best...
I've read all of Dave Barry's stuff, novels too, and this is, hands down the funniest thing you'll ever sink your eyeballs into. It stays on my bedside table where I can get a little twisted history fix now and then. Read it, re-read it and read it again.

None Better
I first read this book when I was 12. I next read it... probably when I was still 12. I'm not one to read and re-read books, but this one will always be an exception. If Jon Stewart's "America" uses humor to expose the dysfunctional state of our country in the 21st century, Barry uses laughter to show how we got to this pitiful point. Buy it and read, then re-read it every other year or so. It only takes a couple of hours, and it never gets old.

Read this right after history class for a laugh!
I just recently finished a college-level history class, so I was well brushed up on my US history. That's half of why this book is so hilarious - I know what really happened, and Dave Barry makes very funny spins on it. He has the capacity to make the bleakest parts of history look absolutely histerical and silly, and for that, I give it my highest recommendation.

This History is signed "Spoof-fully Yours"
According to Dave Barry, hundreds of thousands of years ago, America was very different. For one thing, there were no car commercials which had broadcast toward Earth from another planet far away. Twenty thousand years ago the Land Bridge was constructed and completed on October 8th. Centuries later Mayans down in Mexico constructed a calendar that it can still be used to tell the location of celestial
bodies... they're out in space.

In a takeoff of where George Washington slept, there were stories that arose. Likewise where Dave Barry slept, there were (different) stories that arose. Have a few laughs on U.S. ... Read more

Amazon.com
A Greatest Hits package to die for, in which the inimitable, Pulitzer-packing humorist applies himself to taxes, toilets, airbags, baseball, beer commercials, and numerous other American artifacts. A typical bit, from a piece on legalized gambling: "Off-Track Betting parlors are the kinds of places where you never see signs that say, 'Thank You for Not Smoking.' The best you could hope for is, 'Thank You for Not Spitting Pieces of Your Cigar on My Neck.'" Happy? There's plenty more where that came from.Book Description
WHEN DAVE BARRY IS ON THE LOOSE, NO ONE IS SAFE!

What Dave Barry did for the men's movement in his Complete Guide to Guys and for foreign relations when he did Japan he now does for . . . everything in America. The rapacious observer of Tupperware ladies and leisure concept salesmen sounds off on:

Football--Football is more than just a game. It is a potential opportunity to see a live person lying on the ground with a bone sticking out of his leg, while the fans, to show their appreciation, perform "the wave."

Sailing--There's nothing quite like getting out on the open sea, where you can forget about the hassles and worries of life on land, and concentrate on the hassles and worries of life on the sea, such as death by squid.

Gambling--Off-Track Betting parlors are the kinds of places where you never see signs that say, "Thank You for Not Smoking." The best you can hope for is, "Thank You for Not Spitting Pieces of Your Cigar on My Neck."

"The good news: he's funny as ever. The bad news: the book is only 304 pages."
--Los Angeles Daily News ... Read more

Customer Reviews (27)

Check Your Brain at the Front Cover
Dave Barry isn't always funny, and I find he's better in small doses than in ... er... large buckets, but when he's good, he's good. Dave Barry's Greatest Hits is something to take to the beach and have a look at after one or two rum cocktails. It's light, jokey entertainment; the intellectual equivalent of watching, say, David Letterman. If you like Barry's Miami Herald column and are looking to read more, where better to begin than with the Greatest Hits?

Troy Parfitt, author

Funny Dave
As an Irish person, living in a small town in rainy Ireland, it is unusual to find a book by Dave Barry..(hooray for Amazon). I don't know anyone who has any idea who he is, and why should they.. he is or was(?) a journalist for the Miami Herald, and is a well known funny man in the States, and no singular Irishman or woman has any reason to know of him.. and isn't it a shame. I love funny books. I have some great ones...but Dave is one of the funniest guys I've never met. This book is full of anecdotal ravings and mad perceptions but, you know he is really so funny, you don't care if he talks of giant carnivorous fleas somewhere in the mid-west, or helping his son with a science project waiting for the ants to bite. (ME thinks him an entomologist at heart).. but he has such a funny way of putting things, that no matter what the subject matter, you will read it and enjoy it. Let's face it, in this violent, crime filled world, isn't it still nice that you can have a smile put on your face!

not 100% funny but he doesn't need to be
A typical Barry column in this collection is like some Mel Brooks movies I've seen- he throws so much humor (or at least intended humor) at you that even if only 10% of it is funny, you are still laughing at least once or twice per essay.The ideal way to spend time when you are trapped at, say, a haircut appointment or a Greyhound bus (which is where I was when I read this fun little book!)

Fun to read a bit at a time
I enjoyed this book partly because it is about 80 separate columns in one book. It's easy to skim the titles and choose one that sounds right for your mood. I read it before going to sleep over the course of a couple of months, one or two chapters most evenings. I didn't really read them in any set order and occasionally had to guess if I'd already read the chapter before looking at the first paragraph or two. Some of the stories are "laugh out loud" funny while others are just okay.

It's certainly reasonably priced even if some of the material is a bit dated.

I would recommend this book to any Dave Barry fan.

Audio Version a real treat
My cassette tape version was read by John Ritter who was one of the few people who could actually read Dave Barry correctly - he put the emphasis in the right places and pauses to make the jokes work perfectly.

On to the material -

It wasa bit up and down, but mostly up (even the downs weren't down very far). His time-share condo essay is a gem that should be printed off and handed out to people before they go into a time-share condo presentation. His "Diplodocus" essay was funny and touching all at the same time. One of his best ever. The "Can New York Save Itself?" essay was a prime example of Dave taking a joke and running it into the ground. It was mildly amusing but it kept going and going and going and going and ... you get the point.

So, this one gets a B+. ... Read more

Amazon.com
Dave describes the dark side of tourism with such comical precision that you'll wonder why you ever bother to leave the safety of your living room. For my money, nobody has ever produced a better snapshot of the Baggage Carousel, "where passengers traditionally gather at the end of a flight to spend several relaxing hours watching the arrival of luggage from some other flight, which comes randomly spurting out of a mysterious troll-infested tunnel that is apparently connected to another airport, possibly in a different dimension."Book Description
TAKE YOUR TRAVEL TIPS FROM DAVE BARRY,
A GUY WHO IS REALLY GONE!

Complete with maps, histories, quaint local facts (France's National Underwear Changing Day is March 12), song lyrics, helpful hints on how to get through Customs (all insects must be spayed), and tidbits from Dave Barry's own fond vacation nightmares, DAVE BARRY'S ONLY TRAVEL GUIDE YOU'LL EVER NEED is just that. You'll find everything you need to know in this incredibly comprehensive reference, including:

- Air Travel (Or: Why Birds Never Look Truly Relaxed)
- Traveling as a Family (Or: No, We Are NOT There Yet)
- Traveling in Europe ("Excuse me! Where is the Big Mona Lisa?")
- Camping: Nature's Way of Promoting the Motel Industry ... Read more

Customer Reviews (28)

I love it
Wow.Publishers Weekly didnt like this book?I love it.There isnt one sentence in it that isnt funny.It's a good book to have if you're on a long car trip and need something to keep people entertained.

Dave Barry takes on TRAVELING!
This one was another "Busted-Gut/Soggy-Pants" one for me! Man! I really loved the Chapters on Europe & Going To Disney World (his map of Florida is hilarious) and his idea for "Dave World". He has a good point that the most popular Amusement Park rides are the crazy ones that make you puke ('The popularity of a ride is directly proportional to how horrible it is. There's hardly every a line for a nice relaxing ride like a Merry-Go-Round. But there's a huge crowd...consisting of mostly teenagers...waiting to go on something with a name like "The Dicer", where they basically strap you in a giant food-processor, turn it on and phone the paramedics'- DAVE BARRY). His messing with non-English phrases is loads of fun (and Canada's English-French system get a great 'Dave Barry Treatment' as well, not that I have anything against Canadians). Well, if you need some serious laffs whilst stuffed like a sardine on Flight 321 to Bangkok, Dave's your man!

What a comic writer
Many in America are familiar with Dave Barry. I don't know anyone in Ireland or the UK who's ever heard of him. i have introduced my mother to him. She is a writer and appreciates good humour. I think she wasn't expecting him to be quite so funny though. When I said he is hillarious, I was not over reacting. I was pleasantly surprised to see her nearly fall over in histerics. Humour is good for the soul. Dave Barry is good for the soul. This book covers travel across all of the states, many European countries, Scandanavia, some parts of Asia. For his own reasons, Dave has catalogued some countries together... either his summary of one was so similar to many others, or he was so unimpressed he was lost for words! Either way, you'll enjoy this. How could you not?!

One of his best!
Irreverent, "inaccurate" look at travel in the US and abroad. If you've ever traveled by car, flown in an airplane, visited foreign countries, camped with friends or family, you will find this book hilarious.Barry has a keen insight into the traps and pitfalls of modern-day travel and expresses it in an outrageously funny manner.

Five stars are not enough!
Dave Barry *is* the Funniest Man in America, and here's the proof! ... Read more

Book Description
For thousands of years, women have asked themselves: What is the deal with guys, anyway? What are they thinking? The answer, of course, is: virtually nothing. But that has not stopped Dave Barry from writing an entire book about them, dealing frankly and semi-thoroughly with such important guy issues as:

- Scratching
- Why the average guy can remember who won the 1960 World Series but
   not necessarily the names of all his children
- Why guys cannot simultaneously think and look at breasts
- Secret guy orgasm-delaying techniques, including the Margaret Thatcher
   Method
- Why guys prefer to believe that there is no such thing as a "prostate" ... Read more

Customer Reviews (43)

Funny Stuff
Absolutely, Dave Barry shoots for the middle to low brow here, but he's still exceedingly funny and, as always, silly as can be. I find Barry works better in small doses (i.e. articles), but if you'd like a relaxing, jokey beach read then put this on your list. As a humorist myself, I have to hand it to Dave Barry. He definitely knows how to make people laugh.

Troy Parfitt, author

Dave Dave, he's the man, if he can't make you laugh, nobody can
What I love about Dave is he's a regular guy....and yet, he's so darn funny!Here he is writing about what he knows best - guys.I laughed so hard that tears were rolling down my face........and I wasn't even past the introduction!Seriously though, this book should be required reading for any girl planning to get married or just moving in with a guy.It might save them some grief later on.Heck - it could even save a marriage or two or thirteen!Dave so hilariously shares with us all the mysteries of being a guy - from scratching (still chuckling about that chapter) to urinal etiquette, fear of committment to special medical conditions such as memory lapses.He truly says it like it is and oh, it's said so well.There's only one other humor writer who has made me laugh so hard I peed my pants (thanks a lot, Jarod Kintz) but Dave rates right up there for Guy Most Likely to Make you Pee.

So True!
Out of all of Barry's books, he referred to this book the most when he spoke to us at the Speaker Series. This book covers all of those quirky things about guys that all guys know deep down but never have the balls to mention. I relate well with the male urinal strategy that he outlines. I have never had my prostate examined, but I could not hold back my laughter when he described the prostate exam as all men's greatest fear.

Guides to guys
Dave Berry's Guide to Guys is the best book out there to read for guys. It is so funny. It makes you wet yourself in laughter. It will make you want to read more to see what will be his next joke. There is a testthat you can take if you are a guy or a man. The jokes are not too bad for young kids.

predictable and unfunny after the first chapter
starts with a bang and then fizzles out.

rent a blue-collar comedy tour dvd instead. ... Read more

Amazon.com
The title, as Dave Barry admits, is not entirely accurate. To be sure, this collection of articles does contain what the Pulitzer-Prize-winning author calls "an unusually high (for me) level of factual content." But there is also an abundance of goofy reportage, fart jokes (see "It's A Gas"), and Barry's long-overdue thoughts on natural childbirth.Book Description
You can't make this stuff up! Dave Barry would never lie--and here are the real life, laugh-out-loud stories from across America to prove it: a U.S. Supreme Court justice shares his remedy for preventing gas ("I had not realized that this was a matter of concern in the highest levels of government"); a newspaper headline in Ohio announces the combustibility of strawberry Pop-Tarts ("A story that can really help you gain a better understanding of how you can be killed by breakfast snack food"); the frightening fact that snakes have mastered the pipelines leading directly to your toilet--and they're not shy ("Many women might view this as a fair punishment for all the billions of times that guys have left the seat up").

So get up-close with Dave as he swears to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth . . . so God help you! ... Read more

Customer Reviews (23)

Dave Barry is not making this up--except for the parts that he is
In addition to following up 1992's "Dave Barry Talks Back" with a collection of his weekly humor columns from the Miami Herald through 1994, this book also includes several longer pieces Dave Barry wrote for other publications, including one about the "natural" birth of his son, an expose of a Western Florida UFO hoax, and a couple of travelogues (of a sort) about a trip to China on the eve of Britain's withdrawal from Hong Kong and a boating trip to Bimini Bay.Also included is a rather serious (for Barry) column about his son being hit by a car while riding his bike, which is actually quite touching.

But of course, the staple of any Dave Barry book is the zany humor, and it is plentiful here.If you are a Dave Barry fan, you will enjoy this book, and if you haven't discovered him yet, this would be a fine place to start.

Laffs In The Palm Of Your Hand!
I first got a taste of Dave Barry after coming upon an essay of his online, which described his misadventures at one of those silly "self-improvement" seminars. Needless to say the cracks about Tony Robbins being an android & other stuff basically required a quick change of undies. So, I wanted to experience more of aching tummies & soggy panties, so I bought this book. Unfortunetely, the story wasn't in this one BUT I was treated to absolute hilarity such as Dave's trip to Bimini on his boat named "Buster".....and the embarrassment of being around guys with "more manly" names for boats like "Sea Biceps" & "Testosterone Torpedo" (guys are weird). Then there's his son, who makes poor Dave feel old with the former's earring & penchant for cutting-edge music such as the song "Detachable [...]" (this is a real song, by the way...or as Dave would say, "I'm not making this up". My sister used to hear all the time on the radio back in the 90's). So, if you want a blast, get this book. Oh.......and remember to visit the "Porcelain Throne", first.

Other Books
A collection of amusing anecdotes from the American writer, humorist and columnist Dave Barry.He finds all sorts of weird, crazy, stupid and funny stuff that people do, say or come up with all across the United States of America, and puts them into print.

Dave doesn't mind a drop of the droll, Dave doesn't.

comedy at its best
I have read nearly all of Dave's books, and it never ceases to amaze me that he can be hilarious on each and every occasion. He doesn't duplicate any annecdotes, he simply uses his comic genius to make up new ones.. you will never be bored with Dave's ability to make you rush to the toilet to save wetting the floor, or laughing so hard you feel sick, and the back of your head hurts. This book is my favourite. Every story is funny, clever, and even sometimes sentimental. Please buy this one, you won't regret it. He's on top form.

not my style
Sorry, my husband and I listened to this for quite a bit and did not find it funny at all and didn't even want to continue listening to it, it just seemed long and boring--I guess we have a different sense of humor than most of the other reviewers. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (3)

Classic Dave Barry 2008 Calendar
Hilarious - came a litte late in the year but had the joy of reading back all the dates I had missed, many of the comments old favourites from Dave Barry Books. Look forward every morning to turning the page while I eat my breakfast to see what Dave's "take on life" will be for that day.

Will definitely be looking to purchase this item again next year, hopefully before January 1st!

A great way to start your day
We love Dave's quirky sense of humor and being able to read one of Dave's quips every day sets the tone for a great day.

Always fun!
I was introduced to Dave Barry decades ago when he used to do a column in the Sunday Daily News Magazine. I've been hooked ever since. I've read many of his books and this is the 2nd or 3rd calendar I've had by him. I anticipate a year of chuckles. ... Read more

Book Description
Did you ever wish that you really understood money? Well, Dave Barry wishes that he did, too. But that hasn’t stopped him from writing this book. In it, Dave explores (as only he can) such topics as:

• How the U.S. economy works, including the often overlooked role of Adam Sandler
• Why it is not a good idea to use squirrels for money
• Strategies that will give you the confidence you need to try for a good job, even though you are—let’s be honest—a no-talent loser
• How corporate executives, simply by walking into their offices, immediately become much stupider
• An absolutely foolproof system for making money in the stock market, requiring only a little effort (and access to time travel)
• Surefire tips for buying and selling real estate, the key being: Never buy—or, for that matter, sell—real estate
• How to minimize your federal taxes, safely and legally, by cheating
• Why good colleges cost so much, and how to make sure your child does not get into one
• How to reduce the cost of your medical care by basically not getting any
• Estate planning, especially the financial benefits of an early death
•And many, many pictures of Suze Orman

But that’s only the beginning! Dave has also included in this book all of the important points from a book written by Donald Trump, so you don’t have to read it yourself. Plus he explains how to tip, how to negotiate for everything (including bridge tolls), how to argue with your spouse about money, and how much allowance to give your children (three dollars is plenty). He also presents, for the first time in print anywhere, the Car Dealership Code of Ethics (“Ethic Seven: The customer is an idiot”). Also, there are many gratuitous references to Angelina Jolie naked. You can’t afford not to buy this book! Probably you need several copies.


What kind of financial shape are you in right now? This scientific quiz will show you.

Be honest in your answers: If you lie, you’ll only be lying to yourself! The place to lie is on your federal tax return.


What is your annual income?
1. More than $50,000.
2. Less than $50,000.
3. However much I get when I return these empties.

Not counting your mortgage, how much money do you currently owe?
1. Less than $10,000.
2. More than $10,000.
3. Men are threatening to cut off my thumbs.

How would you describe your portfolio?
1. Conservative, mainly bonds and blue-chip equities.
2. Aggressive, mainly options and speculative stocks.
3. My what?

When analyzing an investment, what do you consider to be the most important factor?
1. The amount of return.
2. The degree of risk.
3. The name of the jockey.

How do you plan to finance your retirement?
1. Savings.
2. Social security.
3. Sale of kidneys.

—from the Introduction: “Why You Need This Book”


Also available as a Crown eBook.


From the Hardcover edition. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (47)

Barry is back!
A few of his recent books suggested Dave Barry had lost it. But then came Money Secrets, and it turns out: he hasn't. This is classic Barry at his best, good laughs on every page and a number of brilliant strokes in his own inimitable style. It's a little book, but it's a gem.

Good Laughs - At Yourself
The book is funny.Not funny?Yes, it's funny.Dave Barry is playing with you.Read it and you will find out if you have a sense of humor about yourself.

Dave Barry's humor has always had an edge.Don't look for strict belly laughs without reading between the lines.His chapters on Teaching Your Children About Money, Starting Your Own Business, How to Get Rich in Real Estate, on Buying an Older House, etc. etc. are unexpected and offer some great chuckles.

Cheer up. Read the book.Have a laugh at yourself.It's good for your health. (So that's what it is!Maybe it's a health book!)

Another home run from a very funny man.
Recently I read a New York Times movie review where the reviewer started with the comment that since he didn't like the star, he was certain he wouldn't like the movie. He then proceded to rake the flick over the proverbial coals. If that is a valid premise for a review then I should start by saying I like Dave Barry, therefore I will like this book.

Some day Barry will write something that isn't funny, but this isn't it. Oh, I'll grant you that if you don't care for his sometimes heavy handed style you may not laugh out loud as much as I do. But it would still behumorous.

Start with his dedication. "This book is dedicated to all the people in the world, on the theory that they will respond by thinking: 'Wow! A book dedicated to me. I should buy a copy.'" Wish I had thought of that and used it first.

The rest of Money Secrets is a broad satire on the many financial self-help books on the market. He makes his points with lines such as this, "The largest single item in the economy is the Gross National Product, or DNA for short."

One of Barry's strengths is his keen ability to take a subject and work it into more and more diverse and outlandish situations. Okay, Donald Trump is easy to make fun of but you would never imagine the roles he has in this book. While the comparison of Alan Greenspan and Punxsutawney Phil is slightly outdated, it will make you laugh. A final point worth noting is Barry's use of a small Angelina Jolie clip. I have better things to do than count the number of times she appears, but toward the end they're funny in and of themselves.

Dave Barry is a funny man and this is a funny book.

A very good second-tier Dave Barry book.
Dave Barry is one of the funniest writers of his generation, if occasionally a bit excessively juvenile. This book is extremely funny, if not as funny as "Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up", "Dave Barry Turns 40", "The Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need", "Dave Barry's Book Of Bad Songs" and "Dave Barry's Greatest Hits". It's about on a par with "Dave Barry Slept Here", "Dave Barry Is From Mars & Venus" and "Dave Barry Turns 50", particularly "...Slept Here", in that it does for (to) economics what that book did for (to) history.

hilarious as always
I think I've read every book Dave Barry has written, and this is in the top three. ... Read more

Amazon.com
Dave Barry, that indefatigable yukmeister, writes terrific humor columns (never mind that they all begin to sound the same if you read him regularly). He's the funniest friend you never had. If you read his column--better yet, if you don't read his column--get your hands on a copy of The Book of Bad Songs.

Barry's style is so effortless that you can't resist quoting him. This bit is from his mock-hortatory introduction: "If you keep reading, you're going to have all kinds of bad songs waking up and creeping around inside your brain, refusing to die, just like the corpses in the movie The Night of the Living Dead ..."Book Description
When funnyman Dave Barry asked readers about their least favorite tunes, he thought he was penning just another installment of his weekly syndicated humor column. But the witty writer was flabbergasted by the response when over 10,000 readers voted. "I have never written a column that got a bigger response than the one announcing the Bad Song Survey," Barry wrote.Based on the results of the survey, Dave Barry's Book of Bad Songs is a compilation of some of the worst songs ever written. Dave Barry fans will relish his quirky take. Music buffs, too will appreciate this humorous stroll through the world's worst lyrics. The only thing wrong with this book is that readers will find themselves unable to stop mentally singing the greatest hits of Gary Puckett.

... Read more

Customer Reviews (54)

Gut-Bustin' Musical Critique!
This was another funny one for me! The only reason I gave it 4 Stars is thatI was expecting a bigger book with even more reviews. BUT what is there is certainly 5-Star stuff. I loved Dave's remark on the song "Timothy", where he says something to the effect that The Buoys at least had the decency not to call it "Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, I Got Tim In My Tummy"! LOL!!! Oddly enough, I actually liked some of the tunes mentioned (like 'Timothy' and it's creepy 'Cannibal-Miner-Survival-Tale' subject). But I agree, the ones I kinda liked, I realize, do have STUPID LYRICS! Like Dave says about "Horse With No Name"..."NAME YOUR DAMN HORSE"! If you want to enjoy the silliness of popular music, the misheard lyrics (the skewed 'Achy Breaky Heart' was a hoot) and general silliness, you wont be disappointed!

MANDATORY READING
If you're one of the lucky ones who actually remember what Rock and Roll WAS before Elvis died and immediately thereafter, disco and punk interbred & killed it - GET THIS BOOK!!! Bro Dave has a tendency to hit the nail right on the head, and I especially enjoy his "interpretetion" of the second line in the Beach Boys' song, "Help Me Rhonda" - they (I THINK) yammer, "I've been out doin' in my head."And Dave heard "There's been owls pukin' in my bed."Sorta improves things, doesn't it?And as an ex-playing-4-nights-a-week-musician myself, I really, REALLY appreciate his list of songs that "cover bands hate to cover," because he mentions "A1 & A2 on the Jukebox-in-hell," "Stairway To Heaven" & "Free Bird."

Can't Stop the (Awful) Music
Before reading this book, one memorable experience with this phenomenon was watching a television show called "Rock Star Supernova" in which one of the contestants sang a song called "Zombie," which I hate. Of course, nothing but this song kept me company for weeks. My mind just would not let the song go. In his hilarious book, Dave Barry tackles just those type of songs that drive you crazy, but you can't get out of your head.

This book is so funny that I kept laughing out loud (this hasn't happened since I read "A Walk in the Woods," another side-splitter by Bill Bryson). Barry notes in his book that he once wrote a column on songs that drove him crazy, and the result was a deluge of reader mail. People loved to share their misery and the songs that just wouldn't go away. In this deliciously small book, Barry cites lyrics of many songs that will have you groaning...and then find yourself singing or just thinking about them endlessly.

This small book is the perfect present (just how I received it...thanks, you know who you are!) or just a great treat for yourself. Pass it along to a friend, so you can share in the misery of bad songs you can't stop singing.

warning: earworm alert
An earworm is the name some give to those songs that insist on playing in your head over and over, despite your best attempts to forget them. Here Barry gives the reader ample warning that if you read his book, you will soon have "Muskrat Love," and "The Pina Colada Song" on repeat in your brain. But if you are a Barry fan, you will probably go ahead and read the book anyway. The chapters are culled from his columns on bad songs, in which he asked readers to send in their nominations for the worst lyrics ever written.

The book is divided into chapters like "Weenie Songs," "Songs Women Really Hate," "Teen Death Songs," and "Songs People Get Wrong." All the usual suspects are here from "I Am, I Said," by Neil Diamond to "Yummy, Yummy, Yummy, (I Got Love in my Tummy) by the Ohio Express. (By now, you've probably acquired at least one earworm.Anyway the book is hilarious, and you may be relieved to discover that you aren't the only one who mishears lyrics.

This is a hilarious quick read (less than 100 pages).My only quibble is that more of the songs aren't from the eighties and nineties. There are plenty of candidates there.Oh well.

Barry at his best...
and when is he ever not?Bought this book as a gift, read it myself first (of course) and plan to buy more of the same for other friends! ... Read more

Amazon.com
"Many bad things happen when you turn 50. You can't see; you can't hear; you can read the entire Oxford English Dictionary in the time it takes you to go to the bathroom; and you keep meeting people your own age who look like Grandpa Walton (and those are the women)."Yep, Dave Barry is getting old, and the King of Humor may soon become the King Lear of Humor, but fear not, because Dave is not going quietly.Dave Barry Turns 50 is Barry at his best, mainly because it succeeds in being more than simply a collection of his newspaper columns.He examines the development of the baby boomer, from youth in the '50s ("an age so innocent that there could be a TV show featuring a main character called 'The Beaver'") to maturity in the '70s ("We ... basked in the reflected glory of Woodward and Bernstein: we were inspired by them; we kept a sharp eye out for any hint of corruption in the way our local school board purchased clarinets for the marching band"), before providing a self-help guide for those entering their second half century.

Barry could squeeze laughs out of a prostate exam (eventually he may have to, although the cover of this book proudly states that he refuses to even mention the word prostate), and Dave Barry Turns 50 provides him with ample opportunities to demonstrate the agile wit that has endeared him to millions of fans. Even in the final chapters, when he faces the inevitability of death, he manages to keep chuckling--after all, he is only 50, and this, he points out, "...is our glory time, this last decade or so before our powers decline and we start showing up for work with our pants on backwards."Let's hope that we'll be around for Dave Barry Turns 90. --Simon Leake Amazon.com Audiobook Review
When your average baby boomer wakes up and discovers he's old, it might not be the funniest moment of his life. But Dave Barry isn't your average boomer. And he doesn't read this--his hilarious account of turning 50--with the expected whining grief of someone whose world has become utterly pointless. No, where others might shriek in horror at the thought of getting "wrinkled, and forgetful and achy, and that you gain weight merely by watching food commercials," Mr. Barry takes a much more mature and less-panicked approach--he cracks jokes. For anyone accustomed to Barry's writing, with its trademark drollery and knowing wit, his off-handed narration and casual, Everyman's voice will bring an added pleasure to his hysterical observations on the golden years--especially if their eyes have started to go, along with their teeth and hair and other remnants of fleeting youth. (Running time: three hours, two cassettes) --George LaneyBook Description
From the Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist comes a celebration of the aging process. Not just Dave's, but that of the whole Baby Boom Generation--those millions of us who set a standard for whining self-absorption that will never be equaled, and who gave birth to such stunning accomplishments as Saturday Night Live!, the New Age movement, and call waiting. Here Dave pinpoints the glaring signs that you've passed the half-century mark:

- You are suddenly unable to read anything written in letters smaller than Marlon Brando.
- You have accepted the fact that you can't possibly be hip. You don't even know if "hip" is the right word for hip anymore, and you don't care.
- You remember nuclear-attack drills at school wherein you practiced protecting yourself by crouching under your desk, which was apparently made out of some kind of atomic-bomb-proof wood.
- You can't name the secretary of defense, but you can still sing the Mister Clean song.

So pop open a can of Geritol®, kick back in that recliner, grab those reading glasses, and let the good times roll--before they roll right over you! ... Read more

Customer Reviews (36)

I'd never read Dave Barry's writing before, but I certainly will now . . .
Wow!This book is so funny that I kept my spouse awake with my raucous laughter -- and had to put it away as soon as he fell to sleep so I didn't end up in divorce court.

After sharing a few anecdotes with him, we both started going to bed laughing hysterically as if we were back in high school!

A delightful read -- and wonderful gift for those boomers approaching their 50th birthdays.

Dave Barry's Genius
Anything by Dave Barry is genius - full of insight, uncannily funny, entertaining, and thought provoking.Dave Barry Turns 50 makes a perfect small gift for 50th birthdays (as does Dave Barry Turns 40 for those a decade younger.)

Barry has Written Better
This is one of Barry's books where he includes a lot of personal stories and like in other novels where he does this, the overall quality, entertainment and humour doesn't quite reach the high benchmark of his usual work where he just comments on the world.This book should really be called Dave Barry relives his life in the 60's and early 70's as that pretty much is all that's in this book.Even though when turning 50 Barry obviously lived must have lived through the 80's and 90's there is no commentary what so ever on these decades so if you weren't alive back in the 60's and 70's then obviously you are not going to enjoy the reminiscing factor.

An interesting look at America in the 60's and 70's but if you weren't alive back then I'd suggest better Barry non fiction books such as Boogers are My Beat and Homes and Other Black Holes.Also read Barry's fiction masterpiece Tricky Business.

A Baby Boomers wet dream...
Dave Barry Turns 50 is less about turning 50 than it is a humorous recounting of growing up a Baby Boomer.

Barry chronicles all the major events, fads, trends and people who impacted the life of a typical boomer.Along the way Barry unleashes heavy doses of his wildly funny wit, recurring punch lines and he even throws in a bit of social and political commentary to boot.

If you're a Barry fan or an aging boomer then this book won't disappoint.Plenty of Barry humor to chuckle at and lots of references to stuff and events to which every boomer can relate.

However, if you're new to Barry's world then I suggest you start with one of his other works - Dave Barry Slept Here for example.It similar to Turns 50 in the way it's constructed and written, but the humor is turned up to high and the commentary is turned completely off (except when used to poke fun at something).

Though Turns 50 goes back to the fence...it's not a quite a home run.

a touch of maturity in there, too
The guy is gross, goofy, really really funny, but he's not the tenage moron he sets you up for. I read this book on my way to Japan for the first time. It was a great flight companion and every word of it turned out to be true. How he could get such insights out of so short a trip, with kids in tow amazes me, but my point here is that he handled the tough stuff--racism, pacifism...you know, the NOT FUNNY!!! stuff...with the compusure of a monk! Really. I would have read the book just for the profound insights (sorry Dave). As it happened my trip coincided with Bush's declaration of war on Iraq. Had I not read his chapter on Hiroshima, I would have been blindsided by the questions I was asked in highschool classrooms about the American attitude toward war. Intestinal fortitude or not, I vote for Dave to represent us around the globe. ... Read more

Amazon.com
Is this comedic tour of Japan discreet, tasteful, or politically correct? The answer, thank god, is Naaah! Yet Dave Barry's travelogue never grows mean-spirited, and he's always ready to laugh at his own country--and by extension, himself. An example: "I understand that, even if two Japanese have worked together for many years, neither would dream of using the other's first name. Whereas Americans are on a first-name basis immediately, and by the end of the first day have generally graduated to 'Yo, Butthead!'"Book Description
"One of the funniest peole ever to tap tap on a PC."
PHILADELPHIA INQUIRER
Not since George Bush's memorable dinner with the Japanese prime minister has the Land of the Rising Sun seen the likes of a goodwill ambassador like Dave Barry. Join him as he belts out oldies in a karaoke bar, marries a geriatric geisha girl, takes his first bath in public, bows to just about everyone, and explores culture shock in all its numerous humorous forms, including: Failing to Learn Japanese in Only Five Minutes (Or: "Very Much Good Morning, Sir!") ; Humor in Japan (Take My Tofu, Please!); Sports in Japan ("Yo, Batter! Loudly Make it Fly!"), and more. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (66)

Dave Barry: easy to like
I like Dave Barry's daily columns. I liked Dave Barry's book. I would read more columns by Dave Barry. I would read more Dave Barry books. Dave Barry is a funny-looking, funny-writing individual. In this book, he, his wife Beth and son Robby travel Japan for three weeks and enjoy the sights, beer, pizza with corn on it, more beer, Japanese hospitality and a difference in attitude and culture from America. I snickered more than I laughed, enjoyed the somber and respectful tone of the chapter on Hiroshima and overall didn't feel like I wasted 3 hours of my life reading the book.

Laughed so hard I cried
This book is so honest, irreverent and hilarious.I laughed so hard I was crying.As an American who spent time in Japan as an exchange student, I could totally relate to many of his experiences, goofs, reactions and thoughts.Classic Dave Barry and my favorite of his works.

My favorite Dave Barry book
I think this book is hilarious.I've recommended it to many of my friends (especially those who need to "lighten up").Some of his personal observations of life in Japan compared to USA literally made me "laugh 'til I cried". A must read.

Not Barry's best but still some good laughs
Dave Barry is a very funny guy and Japan is a place with some custom's peculiar to Westerners. So I was expecting him to really take off with this book. It was hilarious in places, but not consistently funny. Worth picking up, especially if you are interested in Japan. But not Barry's best stuff.

Forget about the experts, Dave Barry describes exactly what it's like to be a foreigner in Japan.
The publisher's money was well spent in sending Dave Barry and his family to Japan to write this book and I really hope they do more of this.He managed to make fun of Japan without being insulting--which seems otherwise impossible to do, as my fussy Japanese wife constantly reminds me.

I've spoken Japanese since I was a teenager; lived there nearly a decade; and my wife is from Japan; yet for all my experience and knowledge of the country I, nor any expat I've ever known, nor any native Japanese (perhaps particularly my wife) could describe what it's like so well as Dave Barry has after a two week trip.

My only complaint is that at some points he looked up a few actual facts and presented them seriously.These are the only weak parts of the book because they can't compete with any off the shelf fact book on the country or academic work.

No other book makes the point so clear as this one does, that you don't need to study up to travel to what may seem like an intimidatingly exotic land and have a great time.Dave Barry went to Japan knowing nothing about the place, and came back with observations that are entirely accurate.He didn't merely go on vacation, but met with key people who took his visit as seriously as he did not--resulting in a wonderful honesty and genuineness of description that I have not seen in any other overview of Japan or its people.

BOTTOM LINE: If you're heading to Japan on business or pleasure, or are just curious about the country, I recommend this book more highly than any other on the subject--really, honestly, or as the author would say "I'm not making this up."I especially recommend this book over speaking to either me or my wife, and most importantly not with my wife and I in the same room at the same time--seriously, I will slap you.Read Dave Barry's book instead, please! ... Read more

Book Description
Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist Dave Barry is a pretty amiable guy. But lately, he’s been getting a little worked up. What could make a mild-mannered man of words so hot under the collar? Well, a lot of things–like bad public art, Internet millionaires, SUVs, Regis Philbin . . . and even bigger problems, like

• The slower-than-deceased-livestock left-lane drivers who apparently believe that the right lane is sacred and must never come in direct contact with tires
• The parent-misery quotient of last-minute school science fair projects
• Day trading and other careers that never require you to take off your bathrobe
• The plague of the low-flow toilets, which is so bad that even in Miami, where you can buy drugs just by opening your front door and yelling “Hey! I want some crack,” you can’t even sell your first born to get a normal-flushing toilet

Dave Barry is not taking any of this sitting down. He’s going to stand up for the rights of all Americans against ridiculously named specialty “–chino” coffees and the IRS. Just as soon as he gets the darn toilet flushed.


From the Trade Paperback edition.Download Description
Barry fans will enjoy this latest collection of columns from one of America's funniest journalists. The title originates from his rant about low-flow toilets in his notorious "Toilet Police" article. According to the Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist (Big Trouble), it wasn't his first choice for a title, which would have been (and I am not making this up) Tuesdays with Harry Potter. Apparently, the publisher's legal department had some problems with that. The title represents Barry's rage not only about toilets but about airline "bistro service" meals, television ads for pharmaceuticals, and the general moral decay confronting America today. Fans will not be disappointed with Barry's forays into proper word usage when he dons his "Mr. Language Person" hat. And they will certainly rally around him on issues concerning the IRS, college dormitories, and Internet millionaires. But the toilet on the cover is really why this book should be in every library's humor collection. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (22)

Funny at times, but not the best
This is another compilation of columns, somewhat more disjointed than Dave Barry's Money Secrets. It's great for listening to in a car, because there's really nothing - no plot - to keep track of, and you can just listen now and then. It's quirky and funny, that's about it. If you like the columns, obviously, this is something to listen to.

Close to five stars.
If I wasn't so familiar with Dave Barry's work, I would probably have called this a five star book; it is a delightfully funny collection of columns by one of the best humorists in the world. But I've seen better from Dave, and have come to expect it, so I have to rate this book at four stars, simply to differentiate it from his best work (Dave Barry Turns 40, Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up, Dave Barry's Book Of Bad Songs, Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need, maybe Dave Barry's Greatest Hits).

Another hit from Barry
This is another collection of Barry's columns and a surefire hit for any fan.As usual, his columns pack a punch and end with a zinger or inside joke.Mr. Language Person makes an appearance or two in this collection, and Barry also takes on TV commericials, his relationship with his wife, and (always a winner) the life of his teenaged son.Recommended!

Very funny reading
Have you ever wanted to see a Pulitzer Prize-winning author sitting on the pot? Well, here's your chance with Dave Barry's book, Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down! While the cover shot may have visions of the scatological Farrelly Brothers doing the can-can in your head, you can put a lid on that: Barry's humor is irreverent, yes, but it is tidy-bowl clean.

Although I appreciate a good laugh as much as anyone, I have a rather serious countenance. I'm the kind of person that total strangers come up to and command, "Smile!" Another oft-posed question is, "Why aren't you smiling?" Like I'm supposed to be standing in line at the Post Office or the DMV grinning like an idiot. One possible solution could be Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down! This book did have me smiling a lot, chuckling, and even - lo and behold! - laughing out loud. (This gets an entirely different reaction while standing in line at the Post Office or the DMV... It has fellow line-loungers casting furtive glances at the "wanted" posters on the walls.)

Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down! is a collection of the humorist's previously published columns. Barry has been with The Miami Herald for nearly 20 years now, and his commentary has been syndicated all over the planet - in case you are wondering (as was I), he received the Pulitzer Prize for commentary in 1988. According to his bio, "Barry writes about various major issues relating to the international economy, the future of democracy, the social infrastructure and exploding toilets."

I have read several of Barry's books before, and while I prefer the ones on a theme (Dave Barry Does Japan is my personal fave), the compilations are fun too, because I'm always bound to find a little something that tickles me. The only complaint I have about these compilations, and this one in particular, are when timely themes are included. They "date" the book, and even though it's brand new, it seems old in some places (one I can recall offhand is mention of the impending Y2K problem that never materialized).

There were quite a few bits and pieces that struck a personal chord with me. As the driver of a little sports job, I was howling with laughter at Barry's rant on SUV drivers:

"...What people mainly do with Sports Utility Vehicles, as far as I can tell, is try to maneuver them in and out of parking spaces. I base this statement on my local supermarket, where many of the upscale patrons drive Chevrolet Subdivisions. I've noticed that these people often purchase just a couple of items - maybe a bottle of diet water and a two-ounce package of low-fat dried carrot shreds - which they put into the back of their Subdivisions, which have approximately the same cargo capacity, in cubic feet, as Finland... Then comes the scary part: getting out of the parking space... I drive a compact car, and on a number of occasions have found myself trapped behind a Subdivision backing directly toward me, its massive metal butt looming high over my head, making me feel like a Tokyo pedestrian looking up at Godzilla. I've tried honking my horn, but (they) can't hear me, because they're always talking on phones the size of Chiclets (The Bigger Your Car, The Smaller Your Phone, that is their motto)."

And forget Mars and Venus - Barry knows guys better than Gray could ever hope to. He has a reoccurring report in his column on Stuff That Guys Do, and a couple of them are presented here in the chapters Rubber-Band Man ("...Guys like to do stuff. This explains both the Space Shuttle and mailbox vandalism."), and Rock of Ages ("At some point or another, almost every guy wants an electric guitar. Electric guitars exert a strong appeal for guys, because they combine two critical elements: 1. guitar, 2. electricity.")

This is the sort of book that you'll want to read passages from, aloud, to anyone within earshot whether they like it or not. Barry has something to say about everything from the government's spending habits to the climate in Florida. Even if you're not especially interested in the government's spending habits or the climate in Florida, I bet you'll get a snicker or two from Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down! You really can't go wrong with this book.

Let's just say Dave Barry is the American Standard of humorists working today. He goes to the head of the class. He's a damn sight funnier than Harry Potter. And as I mentioned previously, Barry's humor is clean: With the holidays coming up, you can safely buy this book for all the Janes and Johns on your list. (Okay, even I'm flushed with embarrassment now...)

Hilarity for everyone on every topic
Dave Barry who can make a prison lifer laugh until his internal organs burst, meaning that he can make someone laugh about...anything.This is the first Dave Barry book I have read and it has put me on a diet of his humor for a long time.His essays/columns are the perfect length for any subject.I admit that I have had quite a few natural laughing highs since reading his words.I highly suggest this book for anyone. ... Read more

Amazon.com

"To most people, news means information about events that affect a lot of people. On local TV news shows, news means anything that you can take a picture of, especially if a local TV News Personality can stand in front of it."

When you're looking for a good belly laugh, sometimes only Dave Barry will do. Dave Barry's Bad Habits skates from topic to topic, always light, always rambunctious. For the dedicated fan, it's an essential volume; for the rest, it's yet more evidence that Barry is the Zen master of written mirth. --Michael Gerber Book Description
If you're not already acquainted--nay, infatuated--with the works of the man who the New York Times calls "the funniest man in America," you can get cracking right now with this all-time favorite collection of Dave Barry's humor columns. Dave Barry's Bad Habits won't rot your teeth, cause your insurance premiums to go up, or make your kids go cross-eyed if they sit too close to it. It will, however, make you laugh so hard your middle actually moves (the best exercise, and possibly the only kind you'll be interested in after forty). Here, preserved for all time, are Barry's profoundest musings on such topics as how to get kids to stop smoking (eliminate tenth grade), what to do if your car is making loud noises (turn up the radio), and a solution to the battle of the sexes (let the men do housework, say, for the next six thousand years to even things up). Together they serve to expose the little insanities of everyday life and assure us that we're not completely alone in a world gone mad. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (12)

Habits you'll want to pick up
I didn't have a clue who Dave Barry was when I checked this book out of a library in 1984. I just saw the disclaimer, "A 100% Fact-Free Book," and was attracted by that kind of truth in advertising. There were three adults living in the house, and you could always tell, day or night, when somebody had picked up "Bad Habits" by the sounds of choking laughter. We spend two blissful weeks periodically resuscitating each other. Quintessential Dave. Read it.

Better Barry Books Out There
Dave Barry's Bad Habits has comedy fiction writer Dave Barry trying his hand at the non fiction market.Although he achieved quality work in this genre with later attempts such Homes and Other Black Holes, this book was clearly just cashing in on the success of his fiction with little effort put in whatsoever.There's lots of references to Commies which either means Barry was extremely paranoid and brainwashed by his government of the time or he is retelling the same joke over and over again throughout the book, a joke that isn't that funny the first time and is really irritating when repeated and repeated and repeated. Barry also insists on telling us his personal stories in this book, obviously the publishers had a word in his ear with future non fiction books as these stories are hardly evident in those books but unfortunately they are here and aren't that interesting.

Dave Barry can write some really good stuff, both fiction and non fiction.Dave Barry's Bad Habits unfortunately is not one of those occasions.

laugh out loud hilarious
Washington Post humor columnist Dave Barry dedicates this book "To Mom and Dad, who never made me go see Santa Claus."Perhaps he avoided that trauma, but as the book attests, he has encountered other horrors including housework, pet ownership, taxpaying time, child raising, traveling, and gift giving. My favorite is the school section, in which Barry dissects the American educational system, why we don't read (blame Dick and Jane), as well as the sections on culture and health. He may not be making these things up, but they are as hilarious as if he had.

It hardly needs saying ...
I hardly think Dave Barry needs yet another "He rocks!" review.It's fairly clear that Dave Barry is the wittiest writer to come along in a generation (if not longer).However, Amazon will stalk me until I write this review so here it is - This book is hysterical.It's vintage Barry and a wonderful collection to have laying about the house for when you need a "hit" of Dave.I highly recommend it.

An early collection of columns
Although definitely not as good as his later collections, this one is worth at least four stars. I would have given it 4 1/2 if it were possible on Amazon.com. Recommended, but if you're strapped for cash, I suggest purchasing a later work first, as you will probably enjoy it more. Also, the typeface (font) used in this edition is annoying, though quickly gotten used to. ... Read more

Book Description
The book America took to its heart-the "hilarious" (USA Today) national bestseller from the Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist: "A Very Barry Christmas should prove a holiday favorite for years to come!" (Kirkus Reviews) ... Read more

Customer Reviews (27)

I laughed out loud...in public...by myself!
This book made me laugh out loud!That wouldn't have been such a big deal, but the book made me laugh out loud when I was in a shopping mall food court, reading at a table all by myself, and I attracted more than my fair share of attention when I started laughing so hard that I nearly slid out of my seat!When you're with a group of people and you start laughing that hard, people assume you're just having fun with friends.When you're by yourself, reading a book, and you laugh that hard, people seem to assume that you are mentally unbalanced.Luckily, that doesn't bother me, especially when it comes to reading Dave Barry!I have always loved his nonfiction books and his newspaper columns, but have generally been less impressed with his attempts at fiction.However, this book converted me to Barry fiction, and I only hope he'll come out with more books like this in the future.

Loved it!
This is a great Christmas book.If you have ever loved a dog or were in a Christmas pageant in the 60's and if you can see the humor potential in bat poop you will probably enjoy this little book.

Dave Barry's Christmas Special
This book strays away from the typical Barry humor.Instead it focuses on the improbable, which makes it a very good story to read to the little ones.It will keep children's attention, and it is not very long."Walter" seems to be based on some part of Dave Barry's childhood in Armonk, NY.

As deep as thin ice
We read this for a men-women church book club Chirstmas time selection. The women seemed to like it. It's cute, uninformative, with no surpirses, and all the depth of a toy bunny.

Nice Story
This was a very nice, short story for the holiday season.It was not as funny as I expected based on the reviews I'd read and my knowledge of Dave Barry. ... Read more