Product Description

You don't have to be single forever...

Customer Reviews (136)

Everyone considering or in a relationship should read this book!
Author has remarkable insight to the minds of both genders.Great guide for relating to the opposite sex.

spells it all out
This book is easy to read and makes thing clear as can be. I would suggest taking a chapter at a time and put it into play and see what happends its great.

OMG IT ROCKS!
This book rocks! And has so many things in there that sound like they literally came from my own life. John Gray is explainitory and understanding of the differences of males and females. And even I, a sceptic on gender roles, was taken aback by the sheer truth of it all. He makes it clear why women are so often hurt when they give so much to a relationship and why men stop giving after a while. The answers in this book may not save your current relationship but it will definately make your next one SO much easier.

My own personal experience with this book has been, I no longer feel betrayed by a man who wants to break up. I no longer take this personally or to mean that he didnt really love me. Now I am able to be happy that I didnt end up with the wrong guy and assured that in time I will find the right guy. MY life is now 10X's more relaxed than when I didnt read the book. HIGHLY RECCOMENDED!

Simplistic and rather condenscending
I read this book as part of book review club and found the generalities rather difficult to stomach at times. It seems to target specific personality types or people that fall into gender stereotypes as it focused so much on why women want marriage (and should save themselves until they meet the right one) versus men who just want to score. It discussed - and actually encouraged - people to pretend to be nice during the courtship and then argued that you can't really "know" someone for the first 4-5 months of a relationship. Well - duh - that's certainly true if they read your book.

That said, I know several single people this book seems to describe reasonably well and I'm sure if they read the book they'd be nodding their heads in agreement throughout. In conclusion, it was a light and amusing read, but useless for me. If you're really looking for gender stereotypes, "The A Game" has far more concise (and amusing) stereotyping along with specific, practical advice. But, like this book, it only works well for a smallish subset of the population.

Below average book
To be fair I am on page 229/497 of my ebook... but I am not sure it is worth reading the rest.

The main points in the book are long drawn out, as if the author is just trying to fill up space.What I have read so far could have taken up 1/4 of my time and written pages in the book.

The author jumps back and forth from subject to subject.I would prefer the five stages of dating in the book were in order.

The techniques in this book for dating I do not agree with for the most part and seem outdated.I have also noticed related items on the amazon page to be a blood pressure monitor (maybe this book is most fitting for older generations?).

It is mentioned that a women should just "fill her time and keep distracted" while waiting for a guy to call.To never bring up the negatives in conversation while in the first few stages of dating, etc.I don't agree with the author about working on understanding how I am interpreted by the opposite sex.. that sounds nice in theory.. but playing a game and not being my authentic self is not how I want to be interpreted.Sorry but I would rather be single any day, than be in a relationship where I am but being my true self. ... Read more

Product Description
Straight from the heart -- real-life couples share inspiring, edifying stories of Mars and Venus in love.

Millions of readers have learned about relationships from John Gray's previous bestsellers, such as Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, Mars and Venus on a Date; and Mars and Venus in the Bedroom. Inspired by this enthusiasm, Gray asked a number of readers to share their own stories of how they've put his principles to work in their relationships. The result is this amazing collection of first-person accounts-along with Gray's own enlightening commentary-that will have you laughing, crying, and nodding in recognition.

Customer Reviews (6)

Case Histories of Couples Working with John Gray
If you liked John Gray's book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, you may enjoy hearing these stories of how the ideas in that book were used by couples who attended his seminars and did counseling sessions with him.A primary benefit appears to have been providing a couple with a common language about their communication needs.The ideas will have more power after hearing how someone else reacted to and used them.These reactions are in the form of letters that are read by John Gray in this audio cassette version.

If the concepts in that book are ones that you do not agree with, or already have full power for you, you can probably skip this audio cassette.

I found John Gray to be a below average reader to listen to, and was tired of his voice before the cassettes were over.He made no attempt to shift his voice from his usual one as he read each of the letters, and listening became monotonous.An actor would have dramatized and differentiated them a bit to make for more interesting listening.Having a man read a woman's letter in a male voice is also fairly uninteresting.

The words would have had much more meaning and impact if they had been read by the person who wrote each letter.Then the nuances and emotions the person felt would have come through better.

John Gray's ideas about how to improve marital communication are pretty simple, and this abridged version could have been even more abridged.The two primary concepts [(1) of men listening to women without suggesting solutions and (2) women letting men have quiet time] are repeated in almost each one.

If your relationship needs work, I suggest Relationship Rescue and the Workbook that can be used with it as a starting point.I think you will get more benefit from those than from this audio cassette.If your issues are severe or long-standing, you may also need professional counseling.

If you want to read one book or listen to one audio cassette by John Gray, I suggest that you go to Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.

After you have finished with whatever materials you have used, I suggest that you consider where else you may have weak communications.How are you doing with the rest of your family?With your friends?With neighbors?With those you work with?A good way to find out is to take some private moments to ask each person how well you are communicating with them.Chances are there will be opportunities to improve.Ask questions to improve your understanding of what they tell you.Then follow those ideas.

Enjoy all of your relationships more!

Ugh...not at all what I wanted
I completely agree with the previous review that this book is nothing but a John Gray advertisement.I didn't even make it to the second chapter. After I got annoyed with "John Gray does this...", and "Johnhelped me with that...", I thumbed through the rest of the book andsaw his name repeatedly on every page!I was looking for good relationshipstories and maybe some advice and inspiration, instead I got the printedversion of Mr. Gray's infomercial.

Ugh...not at all what I wanted
I completely agree with the previous review that this book is nothing but a John Gray advertisement.I didn't even make it to the second chapter. After I got annoyed with "John Gray does this...", and "Johnhelped me with that...", I thumbed through the rest of the book andsaw his name repeatedly on every page!I was looking for good relationshipstories and maybe some advice and inspiration, instead I got the printedversion of Mr. Gray's infomercial.

Best relationship book EVER!
I have read dozens of self-help/relationship books and have found John Gray's philosophies to be the most straight-forward, accurate and effective.His descriptions of men and women and their differences inbehavior and response are dead-on, as is Dr. Gray's belief thatunderstanding those differences is the only way to truly get along. Dr.Gray's books will help you and your mate see that you are BOTH"normal" in your behaviors and responses, even though you mayseem irrational or unreasonable to one another at times.Dr. Gray willhelp you see that boys and girls are just plain different and as soon asyou realize what that means in a relationship, trust me, you will breathe aHUGE sigh of relief and give your mate the biggest kiss ever!

Basically an advertising piece for Dr. Gray's techniques.
This book is filled with testimonials for John Gray's approach to relationship development and enhancement.The overriding theme is essentially, "And then I read Dr. Gray's book" (or, preferably,"attended my first seminar") "and my live was changedforever."There are a few allusions to the specifics of his theories,but basically the jargon is used and the reader is assumed to be familiarwith the subject already.The book has been marketed as a collection ofreal-life experiences of ordinary couples, with many of whom the readershould be able to identify, but this is not the case at all.It is aglowing "puff piece" which reads as if it had been drawn from theevaluation forms submitted by couples at the end of his seminars.I am notdisputing the significance of Dr. Gray's insights and presentation in theslightest, just the thrust of this book. ... Read more

Product Description
How can you create extraordinary relationships now?

Anthony Robbins: America's foremost peak performance coach and communications expert and Dr. John Gray: America's best-selling author in the fields of relationships and personal growth present three hours of fascinating and informative discussion on the subtle differences between men and women - and how those differences impact your relationships - with profound insights and strategies for making measurable improvements in the quality of your relationships now.

Anthony Robbins and Dr. John Gray are two of America's most dynamic personalities and powerfully persuasive communicators. Now they have come together in an outspoken, highly energetic, often humorous, and always insightful interchange of ideas about how you can create extraordinary relationships.

Renowned for their unrivaled communication skills and profound understanding of human nature, these two experts will take you on an exploration of the techniques and methods for immediately enriching the quality of your relationships. You will master specific approaches that you and your partner can apply now -- to enhance your mutual understanding, accommodate and celebrate yoru differences, create greater harmony and intimacy, and enjoy deep and lasting fulfillment in every facet of your relationships.
... Read more

Customer Reviews (3)

A Must Read for Couples!!!!
I have given this many times to couples, young and old.I am sad that it isn't being published in CD.It is a conversation between the two and while it is helping men and women understand each other, it is VERY funny and entertaining.

The greatest audiotape ever!!!
On Creating Extraordinary Relationships is a 3 hour tape series on how tomake relationships work better through better communication, understandingand listening. The tapes talk about some basic differences between men andwomen and what to do about it.I had a lot of fun listening to it with mythen girlfriend (now my wife!). We were laughing so hard because it was sofunny yet so true! After listening to the tape we learned so much moreabout ourselves and each other.What makes it very valuable is TonyRobbins and John Gray cite so many examples and situations in our everydaylife where conflicts arise and give practical insightful tips on how toimprove the situation. Some of the words used also act as positive triggerdevices that just by mention of the words during more challengingsituations it makes the moment lighter. I love this so much I have to datebought 22 sets of this to give to friends! This is something I recommendhighly!

Entertaining and Packed with Practical information
Robbins has done it again.The Power Talk series is well known for providing interesting insights by top authorities.Dr. Gray is well known for his unique perspectives on relationships.The combination is electric.This is three hours of pure insight into how men and women relate, and how to make the relationships you have into the relationships you want.As if that wasn't enough, these guys are hilarious.You will enjoy this tape, and you will learn from it.Buy it! ... Read more

Product Description
Reiki, pronounced "ray-key," means Universal Life Force. This energy is all around us and we can channel it.

The Reiki method of hands-on healing is an ancient one, rediscovered by Mikao Usui in early 20th Century Japan. John Harvey Gray was the third of the original twenty-two Reiki Master Instructors created to carry on the Reiki Tradition by Hawayo Takata, a Japanese-American woman who first brought Reiki to the West. Mrs. Takata was trained in Japan by Chujiro Hayashi, a direct disciple of Usui. John Harvey Gray received his entire training from Mrs. Takata. He is considered to be the longest-practicing Reiki Master Instructor in the West.

John and his wife Lourdes offer the authentic Reiki method as Takata taught it, along with a wealth of information distilled from their combined experience teaching over 750 workshops and treating thousands of clients. Discover the history of Reiki, how it works and how attitudes that create dis-ease in the mind and emotions affect the physical body. Learn specific techniques including body-scanning procedures to discover areas of reduced vitality flow, hand positioning to maximize the effects of a Reiki treatment, self-treatment and emergency procedures. John and Lourdes tell their personal stories and discuss the meaning of Reiki mastership.

Hand to Hand offers both beginner and experienced master a rich and solid foundation for the practice of this popular method of energy healing. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (7)

Hands that heal
John Gray was one of the first students of Sensei Hawayo Takata, who was at that time the only Reiki master practicing outside of Japan. The author's autobiographical memories, and biographical stories of those who learned and practiced Reiki in its earliest days in the United States, are very poignant. There are a only handful of writings from those who knew Mrs Takata firsthand, biographies by Helen Haberly and Fran Brown, a book by Anneli Twan, and a very rare book by Virginia Samdahl. Alongside these works, this book is an important contribution. It shares recollections and memories of the early times of Reiki in America. The author's intentions are focused on compassionate healing, and on honoring the tradition and method of his teacher. Those drawn to Reiki will find this book fascinating and valuable.

An fascinating, well written book!
This book was an excellent resource on Reiki for both practitioners and anyone who is interested in learning about the subject.I highly recommend it.

Required for any serious Reiki student - inspiring and truthful
After a still-unexplained loss of my voice (and my vocation) I became interested in Reiki and began searching for a Master Teacher. Bewildered and frustrated by the hundreds of "Masters" - both online and off - and the conflicting and misleading books on the subject, I became rather discouraged and decided to wait until I "found" the right Master - or they found me.On a trip to New England, I discovered that John Harvey Gray, one of the original 22 Masters trained by Hawayo Takata herself, and his wife Lourdes, also a Reiki Master, lived and taught 90 minutes away from my second home in New Hampshire. My Masters had simply been waiting for me to find them.

I quickly enrolled in their next class and am currently enrolled in their Master Practitioner program.My 15 year old son is set to begin his training this weekend. John is 92 now, still leading and teaching and giving attunements, and Lourdes is a powerful and very knowledgeable Master in her own right.Their story is told simply and directly from the heart and the Reiki information contained in this book is accurate and uncolored by the typical misinformation found in nearly every other Reiki book.Contrary to what other authors may claim, it is NOT OK to "make up" your own symbols, "reverse" them, or become attuned through a DVD or an online program.If you wish to have a taste of the source, do yourself a favor and read this book, then decide for yourself.Reiki is simple, direct, and loving - just like the authors themselves.

Great book on the history and level 1 reiki
I had the distinct honor of studying under John and Lourdes. The book is very well written and a good handbook for the beginner and as a reference down the road after a year and a half I still refer back to it. . They are wonderful teachers!

Very valuable tool
I highly reccomend this book to all my Reiki friends. It is written by one of the twenty two original Reiki masters initiated by Hawayo Takata. John Harvey Gray was the third to receive this initiation from her, and is the longest currently practicing in the west.

In addition to a nice historical context, Hand to Hand also provides photo illustrations of hand positions for a complete treatment, both for oneself and others, useful techniques and advice, and another translation of Hayashi sensei's Ryoho Shishin (Hayashi healing guide).

John and his wife Lourdes wrote a wonderful addition to the Reiki library. ... Read more

Product Description
The most comprehensive analysis of strategic studies available, Strategy in the Contemporary World, Third Edition, reflects upon recent events and assesses the role of military power in the contemporary world. Taking a functional approach and looking at issues from both times of war and of peace, editors John Baylis, James J. Wirtz, and Colin S. Gray analyze the conflicts themselves--as well as what can be learned from them.

This new edition covers topics such as intelligence and strategy, strategic studies and its critics, as well as strategy in practice, providing a comprehensive and insightful collection of contributions from a team of leading experts in the field.

FEATURES

* Provides a more comprehensive analysis of strategic studies than any other text in its market
* Brings together contributions from international experts
* Incorporates excellent learning features throughout, including readers' guides, key points, questions, suggestions for further reading, and boxes
* Accompanied by a comprehensive Companion Website (www.oup.com/uk/orc/bin/9780199548873) with case studies, weblinks, PowerPoint lecture slides, and a (password-protected) Test Bank of multiple choice questions

NEW TO THIS EDITION

* Expanded coverage of key issues such as intelligence, critics of strategic studies, and strategy in practice
* New chapters on intelligence and strategy, strategic studies and its critics, and the practice of strategy
* New case studies for the online resource centre, including a case on the 2006 war in Lebanon and a case on the Gaza conflict ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

Useful introduction to strategic studies
This introductory textbook of strategic studies covers four main themes: the enduring issues of strategy, the evolution of joint warfare, twentieth-century theories, and contemporary issues of grand strategy. The book is written from the perspective of `Western security interests', but even so, studying strategy helps us to think clearly about the ways in which states and others use organised force for political ends.
The writers all refute technological determinism: new weapons - artillery in World War One, tanks in World War Two, guided missiles in the Arab-Israeli war of 1973, precision bombing and superior ground force technology in the Gulf War - were none of them unbeatable. They show that the basic principles of conducting land warfare have hardly changed in the last hundred years. Armies need to combine their arms, defend in depth, keep large reserves, use cover and concealment, and integrate movement and suppressive fire. In particular, Stephen Biddle shows that, contrary to many claims, the USAF air war in the Gulf did not destroy all the Iraqi armour. Possibly 4,100 armoured vehicles later fought the US ground forces, but they did not fight according to the basic principles, so they were beaten.
However, the editors err in dividing what they call `20th-century theories' - deterrence, arms control, terrorism and `irregular warfare' (national liberation struggles) - from the `contemporary issues' of technology, weapons of mass destruction, and humanitarian intervention. These are all still live issues. Further, the editors could have presented them in the livelier form of debates.
As with any collection of pieces by many hands, the quality is uneven, but generally the better essays are more grounded in the realities of 20th-century military history. The worse ones try to discuss, for instance, the causes of war in terms of biology or psychology. As a rule, strikingly individual expressions of one person's views, like Colin Gray's Modern Strategy, or Bernard Brodie's War and Politics, provoke more thought than compilation textbooks ... Read more

Product Description

Once upon a time, Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to Earth and amnesia set in: they forgot they were from different planets.

Customer Reviews (12)

took to long to get here
wanted to listen to the CD on a six week vacation.There were 10 days from the time I was told the CD was mailed till I left on vacation.The CD did not arrive in those 10 days.

pleased
Product goes right along with the book.It is nice to just pop it in an listen while driving in the car.

Men... Women... different?Yes!
I didn't really relate to all that it said women needed and felt, but my husband listened to the CD and thought that it completely discribed him.He had me listen to it again, to better understand where he was coming from on different things in life.It was nice to learn!

Amazingly Accurate
It is like someone is watching over your shoulder and reading your very thoughts.I realized that I must not be the only one thinking and reacting the same way.I was not aware of the consequences of my actions and now see how it is not all that difficult to adjust how I present things and more specifically my expectations of the opposite sex. My husband and I listened to this on cassette years ago and have had great discussions with great results.I purchased the CD for my adult son as he ventures off into relationships with women. I would recommend this as a tool for all young adults.

two disc set - missed so much of the VIP info
i've read the book a few times, and had the whole unabridged version on CD rom.both were wonderful to read and use.

this was two discs long, and it seemed to miss the most important points of the unabridged version.

i felt they should have put in the most important points of good communication between men and women, rather than just concentrate on a couple subjects.there is SO much to learn in the books!

thus, i recommend someone purchase the entire book, not this shortened set.

... Read more

Product Description
John Gray, who celebrated gender differences in his groundbreaking book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, and eleven other bestsellers, now turns to diet and exercise as a source of well-being and harmony. John Gray taught men and women how to embrace their differences to build strong, loving relationships. This practical guide reveals how diet, exercise, and communication skills combine to affect the production of healthy brain chemicals.

The Mars and Venus Diet and Exercise Solution addresses the unique needs of men and women. With great insight and vision, John Gray examines the different emotional issues that govern mood, motivation, and passion in men and women. He goes on to explore how men and women lose weight differently and provides effective tools to eliminate addictions and food cravings.

The program focuses on:
- Relationship and communication issues that affect hormonal and brain chemistry balance
- Nutritional supplementation for increasing physical, mental, and emotional well-being
- Gender-specific diet, nutrition, and weight management
- Essential physical exercises for stimulating the lymph system, endocrine system, cerebral spinal fluid, and brain system
- Stress and mood management for a longer, healthier, and happier life

John Gray has been working with specialists for the last thirty years to develop this program, which he designed to be effortless and adaptable to any lifestyle. By applying The Mars and Venus Diet and Exercise Solution, you will create the brain chemistry of health, happiness, and lasting romance
Amazon.com Review
"The magic key to health, happiness, and romance is waiting for you in your local health food store," says relationship guru John Gray, Ph.D. Not only do men and women have different communication and lovestyles, they gain and lose weight differently and need different diets, asserts Gray, author of the bestselling Mars and Venus series. Though he does not have credentials in exercise, nutrition, or weight management,Gray creates a program that, he claims, balances each gender's brain chemistry, resulting in health, weightloss, stress management, and romance.

Customer Reviews (61)

More Understanding of Brain Chemistry than help for Weight
So I just ordered this book after checking it out of the library several times.It will go on my shelf as one of my most valuable reference books on relationships.It helps me understand and strengthen my own relationships as well as those around me (like my parents' 65+ year rocky relationship).It reminds me when to nurture myself and stop expecting that from others - something most women really need to hear from time to time!

The diet and exercise information are important to his overall explanation because food and exercise do very much affect brain chemistry and how we feel in general.But, I pretty much had under my belt and have not really referred to at all.I was not reading the book to lose weight, but to learn how varying brain chemistry of the sexes affected relationships.

Gray's explanations of the brain chemistry differences between men and women are invaluable and I have not found them so well explained from any other source. This book offers a deeper understanding of the principles he laid out so well in his original book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.The new brain chemistry angle really clicked with me and was more tangible in helping me to modify my behaviors for my own happiness and the betterment of my relationships.

I really recommend the book, especially for those who are familiar with how brain chemistry affects behavior.

Mars and Venus from a Biochemical View
I found the first book that John Gray wrote to be very useful.When I have mediated for couples, I go over the key ideas very often and usually give a copy of the book to the couple as a gift and as homework.The book does not solve any core relationship problems, but cleans up the communication so that problems can be solved.I am finding that THE MARS AND VENUS DIET AND EXERCISE SOLUTION is a good supplement to his first book.It gives some of the biochemical reasons for the male and female differences mentioned in the other books.It also shows how diet affects those biochemical differences and what we can do about them.I have studied a few books about brain chemistry and am impressed at how simple and practical John Gray makes it.The other books I have read require a few rereads to get what is said and even longer to figure out how to apply it.The book is a little weak on prescribing a diet plan and recipes for people to follow.But I prefer to design my own diet from the key ideas and information.It is cheaper that way.I am vegan and I am used to translating many diet systems into meat free, egg free, and dairy free items.I also prefer to find herbal formulas and fresh food items that can give the necessary nutrients, rather than rely on vitamins, minerals, and amino acid supplements.Vitamin supplements can fill a short term need, but I prefer to do it nutritionally in the long run.It seems that the nutrients are more bioavailable this way and you need less of the nutrient from a natural source than the RDA suggests from a vitamin source.John Gray gives seems to give enough good information, suggesting that we use it to listen to our body, and to design our own diet from there.I found some useful material in the Okinawa Diet Books to supplement what is shared in John Gray's book and there is a program in them for those who need this kind of structure.

High, Even Level of Energy
I read this book & have been living by it.After a few weeks of following Dr. Gray's program, I noticed I had a might higher level of energy, and that my energy level stayed more level throughout the day.

The wellness sections of Dr. Gray's website, [...], have ongoing updates, helping you implement this way of eating & exercising even more.I bought this book for several people for Christmas.Needless to say, I highly recommend it!

The Mars and Venus Exercise Solution:
Great book, experience how simple it is to 'fix' bad diet problems - learn how to supplement your brain chemistry for optimum happiness; no wonder many people are miserable, its simply lack of proper natural ingridents which we have taken for granted. No suffering, no strange complex diet rules, just be sure to ADD the very few items all brains need, and you will feel good.

Nutrition truly changes your life
The Mars/Venus Diet and Exercise solution is the missing link in my life.For 20 years, I have searched for wholeness, of mind, body and spirit.I work tirelessly to release with the emotional and spiritual pain of my past so that I may grow spiritually. I pray and meditate daily. I exercised regularly and I eat as healthy as one can in West Texas, lots of fruits and vegies, limited fried food and sugar.With all of this, I still felt fatigued, irritable and overwhelmed.After reading Dr. John Gray's book, I began using the recommended products and information in he book. I have been amazed at the results in my life the lives of my family and friends.I have since been privately trained by him as a nutritional cleansing coach so that I may help others.His information about how diet and excercise effect addiction has literly allowed me to help many people who struggle with food and alcohol addiction.The information on brain chemistry is fascinating and brings to light the differences in men and women.My marriage has come alive and my 5 year old said, "Mommy, you and my sister (hormonal 12 year old) are so much nicer now!"This book is a must read for anyone who wants to fill better and who are committed to a life change.
Here's too a healthy life filled with joy, peace and happiness.
Becky Benes, onenessoflife.isagenix.com ... Read more

Product Description
Popular marriage counselor and seminar leader John Gray provides a unique, practical and proven way for men and women to communicate and relate better by acknowledging the differences between them.

Once upon a time Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to earth and amnesia set in: they forgot they were from different planets.

Using this metaphor to illustrate the commonly occurring conflicts between men and women, Gray explains how these differences can come between the sexes and prohibit mutually fulfilling loving relationships. Based on years of successful counseling of couples, he gives advice on how to counteract these differences in communication styles, emotional needs and modes of behavior to promote a greater understanding between individual partners. Gray shows how men and women react differently in conversation and how their relationships are affected by male intimacy cycles ("get close", "back off"), and female self-esteem fluctuations ("I'm okay", "I'm not okay"). He encourages readers to accept the other gender's particular way of expressing love, and helps men and women learn how to fulfill each other's emotional needs.

With practical suggestions on how to reduce conflict, crucial information on how to interpret a partner's behavior and methods for preventing emotional "trash from the past" from invading new relationships, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is a valuable tool for couples who want to develop deeper and more satisfying relationships with their partners.Amazon.com Review
Relationship counselor John Gray focuses on the differencesbetween men and women--men are from Mars, and women are from Venus,after all--and offers a simple solution: couples must acknowledge andaccept these differences before they can develop happierrelationships. In this unabridged version, Gray gives a spiriteddelivery of his message, especially when role-playing typicalmale/female interactions. Although it takes some time to adjust to hisslightly nasal tone, the information is sound and gives both men andwomen helpful hints on improving themselves and their union. (Runningtime: 9.5 hours, 6 cassettes) --Sharon Griggins ... Read more

Customer Reviews (311)

Great book
Good book and the book itself is in great shape. Thanks for making it affordable for me! It has been very enlightening :)

Everyone in a relationship needs to read this book!!!!
This book gives amazing insight to both men and women. Women will understand the tendencies of men and men will understand the tendencies of women. Anyone in a relationship will benefit from reading this book.

obviously second-handed ...
I like this book, but the paper seems to be a little bit too second-handed..
not as new as described.

Excellent condition
This book came very highly recommended so I bought it. I am happy with the condition of the book which is all I am reviewing here since I have not yet read the book.

Long Lost Best Reader Replaced
I had this book years back and have longed to reread it.Library's in my rural area do not carry it.I found this book very enlightening, so entertaining and at the same time true to my path in this world.Thanks for the opportunity to own it again. ... Read more

Product Description

Customer Reviews (7)

Thank you Mr. Gray
White Stone day is the first book I have read by Mr. Gray. What a Wonderful read!! I will be reading more of his books and hope they are as well written as this one was.

Alice in Pedoland
It's a sad comment on our times that even thrillers centering around serial killers don't give us a chill anymore. So to evoke the slightest ghost of a horrifed shudder, more and more authors are turning to crimes against children - where they will turn when even these fail to appall us? I gave Gray's first Whitty novel, The Fiend in Human, five stars and likened it to a cross between Dickens and Spillane. This sequel is still plenty good, but it didn't have quite as much bite. The previous book's most vivid parts lay in its descriptions of one of 1852 London's most formidable slums. It's difficult to elicit as much color from a Victorian nobleman's country estate, no matter how depraved its residents may be, as this tale tries to do. The Lewis Carroll and "Alice" analogy here is appealing. Too, Gray shows the same solid command of Victorian diction and cadences of speech (which can be so awful when other authors do them badly). Highly recommended.

Amazing read
This book is amazing. The writing is different from anything else out there. The plot is excellent, the dialogue is clever and charming and frequently funny, the characters complex. I liked it better than the Fiend in Human. Gray is a truly unusual talent who hopefully will write many more books of this quality.

A HIT-SEQUEL MYSTERY NOVEL SINCE THE FIEND IN HUMAN IN 2003 AFTER THE WHITE STONE DAY
Edmund Whitty, A London newspaper correspondent who can usually be counted upon for crisp and lurid copy, has fallen on lean times. After his triumphant expose of a notorious serial killer, he has inexplicably lost his knack for sensational reporting. Broke and desperate, he seizes upon a generous offer from a mysterious American to discredit a quack psychic. But how, he ends up wondering uneasily, does the psychic know so much about a scandal involving Whitty's late brother?

When the psychic is brutally murdered, Whitty finds himself accused of the crime and thrown into Milbank prison, the most bizarre institution of its kind in England. Help comes unexpectedly from "the Captain," a gangster not known for charity work. To save his own skin, Whitty must find the men responsible for the disappearance of the Capatin's young niece, Eliza.

Whitty's search takes him to Oxford, where he meets the brillant and eccentric Reverend William Boltbyn, a renowned children's author who delights in playing croquet, devising elaborate stories, and taking artistic photographs of little girls. There he uncovers a looking-glass world, the dark side of Victoriana, and the murder of innocence.

John MacLachlan Gray, who evoked "the mean streets and byways of 1852 London with a skill worthy of Dickens"[Publisher's Weekly] in The Fiend in Human, spins an even more irresistible tale of dark secrets behind the facade of Victorian respectability.

Victorian newspaperman embroiled with ghosts and kidnappers
Gray plots his second excellent Victorian literary thriller around two activities that were all the rage in mid-19th century England: photography and spiritualism.

Edmund Whitty, the earthy London newspaper writer and man of excess, first seen in "The Fiend in Human," has fallen on hard times. All his best ideas are being uncannily scooped by a rival correspondent and he's in "fearsome debt" to the Captain, a London crime boss, "the result of a wager in the sport of ratting, with compound interest growing like a tumour and default a mathematical certainty."

Approached by an American Pinkerton agent to expose a fraudulent psychic, Whitty seizes the opportunity, but the séance does not go according to plan. His brother David, who died in a rowing accident at Oxford, appears, plaintively proclaiming, "I did not live as you think I lived! I did not die as you think I died!"

Meanwhile, in Oxfordshire, Rev. William L. Boltbyn, based loosely on Lewis Carroll, is singularly enchanted by the Lambert sisters, particularly Emma, who is on the cusp of womanhood, a fact Boltbyn bitterly bemoans. He whiles away hours telling the girls tales and taking pictures of them in various romantic and classical poses, some suggestive.

Before it's over Whitty will be accused of murder and cast into the bowels of Millbank prison, only to acquire a new commission - the breaking of a child pornography ring which may involve both his dead brother and the abducted young sister of the distraught Captain, a girl bearing a strong resemblance to Emma Lambert.

Other viewpoints include a comically psychopathic pair of thugs for hire and the daring, foolhardy Lambert sisters keen on ferreting out the sinister secrets of the local Duke. Steeped in Victorian sensibilities of romance, propriety and the gulf between the classes, redolent with London's stewpots and taverns and bustling streets, Gray's witty, suspenseful story builds to a tense and satisfying climax.

--Portsmouth Herald ... Read more

Product Description

Érase una vez unos marcianos y unas venusianasque se conocieron, se enamoraron, y fueron felicespor que respetaron y aceptaron sus diferencias. Luegovinieron a la tierra y olvidaron que pertenecían adiferentes planetas....

Basado en los años de experiencia del Dr. John Grayen asesoramiento de parejas e individuos, Los HombresSon de Marte, Las Mujeres Son de Venus le ha ayudadoa millones de parejas a transformar sus relaciones. Considerado hoy en día como un clásico moderno,este revolucionario libro le ha ayudado a hombres y mujeresen el mundo entero a darse cuenta de lo diferentes que son, y a comunicar sus necesidades sin necesidad de conflicto, dejando florecer la intimidad en la pareja.

Customer Reviews (13)

Excelent book
If you have experienced issues with your couple, here in this book you can understand how to minimize them. I recomend thi one for all people that wants to improve their marriage.

Los Hombres son de marte, las Mujeres de Venus
it was a Great Audiobook, just like i expected. The product was in Great condition as well.
Thank you

muy buen libro
Habla de una manera divertida acerca del trato entre hombre y mujer en una relacion. Mientras no lo tomes muy en serio, no te ofenderas, porque hay gente que se pierde de aprender porque son testarudos y orgullosos, y dicen que no se identifican...
Hay que entender el mensaje principal del libro, el cual es excelente para saber lidiar con los problemas que surgen cuando se tiene pareja, no para 'arreglar' tu pareja.
A mi me ha ayudado a entender mejor a mi pareja, y tambien al comenzar una discusion, muchas veces las he resuelto antes de que se vuelva mucho peor, no como antes. Me ha ayudado mucho, y muy recomendado.

Simplemente lo mejor!
Este libro es el mejor "traductor" entre los hombres y las mujeres...Para cualquier pareja que tenga (o haya tenido) problemas relacionales, o para prevenir futuros problemas en su relacion! El Dr Gray es un genio, y sus consejos son los mejores. Para cualquier pareja, de cualquier generacion, en el mundo entero! Leanlo, no seran decepcionados. Es la biblia del amor y de las parejas. Compranlo sin pensarlo dos veces!

Interesting book
Everybody recomended.I read it, and it was so good...
Now I understand more... ... Read more

Product Description
The Alexander Technique is a proven process of mind and body reeducation that reduces stress and muscle tension, and revitalization those who practice it.Used by many actors, athletes, and dancers, the technique can help anyone increase his or her energy and achieve a more dynamic presence.

Written by a veteran instructor of the Alexander Technique, this authentic and easy-to-follow guide allows everyone to learn the increasingly popular program, with clear instructions for each exercise, and dozens of helpful photographs that show correct and incorrect positions to use for the exercises and throughout the day.
... Read more

Customer Reviews (5)

Great info!
Great book - full of great info and even greater pics.This book complemented the private lessons I was taking.

Not the best book on the subject perhaps.
I'm seeing a teacher of Alexander Technique, who recommended a few books, including this one. I'm now reading one of the other books. I gave up on this one after 76 pages. I think it's badly written - if a good book conveys information clearly, this one isn't it, I'd say. Judge for yourself by borrowing it from a library, as I did.

Dreadful, Should be a one page book
Far and away the most tedious and tiresome book I have read in a long time. The author writes in a style popular at the turn of the century. Unfortunately, the century was 1800s. Dry, overly complicated, and filled with word selections such as "whilest" and "Effortful"; using those terms and language as the Alexander himself did, in the early 1900's. It is one thing to honor the originator, it is another to make the text convoluted and unreadable in an attempt to be "faithful" to the technique.

As a "how to" book, this one fails miserably. The best that can be said for it is that it is a mediocre "how not to" book; the author spends much more time telling you the wrong way things are done rather than the correct way to do them. The photos in the text that show the wrong way, far outnumber the photos showing the correct way to do things. Photos showing proper technique are poor at best.

As an example, the author elected to use a photo of a toddler walking as an example of good posture. Since no toddlers are reading this book and they are substantially physiologically different from adults, I doubt that was the best example to give. Showing an adult in a good example of the technique would have been much better and more illiminating. In the few photos where adults are used to demonstrate the correct posture, the effect is somewhat unattractive.

While I have no doubt the concept behind "The Alexander Technique" is a good one, and it has many health benefits, the actual technique and the teaching of it can only be described as overly complicated. Designed to confuse the reader into thinking there is more to it than there really is. Some of the things promoted in the text such as: "Experts" in the technique,
"Qualified Teachers", "slow step by step process that you could never hope to achieve on your own...". are just there to try and shroud the technique in a false mystery. Marketing plain and simple.

If the author elected to use language designed to clearly educate, illuminate and instruct, this book might have been a worthwhile addition. He didn't and therefore, it isn't.

Let me save you the cost, and the time required to wade through this gobbledie gook.
1. Keep you head balenced on top of your spine
2. Relax your neck to help direct and condition the balence of the head.
3. Stand up straight without forcing yourself into the position.
4. When you can stand and sit straight, comfortably, with your entire body in a relaxed state, you've got it nailed.

That's it. Now go look for a book to buy with more to offer.

A solid introduction to the Alexander Technique.
I've read a dozen or so books about the Technique over the past dozen years.I became interested in the ideas behind the Technique after having had lessons with 2 very different Alexander Techers.Both teachers helpedme a great deal with a chronic back pain problem I'd had since my twenties(I'm 67 now.) My first teacher was very non-verbal, but hishands-on-guidance was very clear and was able to change my posture quite abit.My second teacher was far more verbal, and also had very gooddirection in her hands.She encouraged me to do some reading, startingwith "Fitness Without Stress"(my favorite) and then "BodyLearning" and most recently the Authorized summaries of Alexander'sown four books(most of these you can get from Amazon - but the authorizedsummaries you have to get by mail from an Alexander Technique ProfessionalSociety - you can find out more at the Alexander Technique Bookstore atalexandertechnique.com/books)My sense is that Gray's book is not as clearas the other books's on the Technique I've read, although it does cover thebasics.

I've tried the others-this IS the best one not written by FM
I cannot recommend this book highly enough. I am a violinist with the Academy of St Martin-in-the-Fields and the Technique itself is an **invaluable** element of my life and work---and I would say this book is the best Alexander book not written by FM Alexander himself (it's also much easier to read than FM's brilliant but *very* Victorian prose). This would be my Desert Island Alexander book! ... Read more

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Customer Reviews (3)

Another bumpy ride
When reviewing a book like this, it's almost impossible to leave your political views aside. Even though I often disagree with John Gray, I have to admit that he's a prolific and sometimes brilliant writer. In a previous review of `HERESIES against progress and other illusions'', I made the blunder of not recognizing that the piece `Torture: a modest proposal' was a parody. Apparently I wasn'talone in this and that it was a parody wasn't as obvious as in Swifts proposal that we roast and eat babies. But I suppose the title should have given it away and I totally missed that. Thanks to Zachary Michaelson for pointing this out.
In his spoof article Gray thus mocks Alan Dershowitz but is he also poking fun at liberals like John Rawls? I suppose that's the idea but I'm not sure it's a laughing matter. Maybe he tries to convince us, as John Banville suggests in the Guardian, that it's a `foolish and tragic mistake... to imagine that (more dental implants and) fewer thumbscrews will make us into better beings'.
His critique of humanism, atheism and the idea of progress is well known by now and in my view tends to become a bit monotonous. In contrast to the `evils that come with the growth of knowledge', `the myth of religion are ciphers containing the truth of the human condition', Gray heralds onto the congregation.
This is how I ended my now deleted review: `HERESIES is highly entertaining, provocative and witty but at the same time frustratingly biased and presumptuous. John Gray takes us on a bumpy ride indeed.'
That's still how I feel and these essays, first published in the New Statesman, gives us a good idea of his spirited polemics.

The progress of "Homo rapiens"
According to Gray, the Enlightenment cast off the shackles of one religion, only to forge replacement fetters.The new religion, based on "humanism" is called "progress".This faith rests on the notion that the human condition can be constantly and continuously improved - forever.Instead of a metaphysical paradise, the new religion proposes one that can be achieved here and now.We act, he says, in the false belief that "science" is the new divinity.With so many problems having been solved through the application of science and technology, we've come to believe ALL obstacles can be overcome.What this faith ignores, Gray warns, is the finite supply of resources our planet has to sustain this programme.

In this collection of thought-provoking essays, Gray closely and critically scrutinises the new "faith" and explains its manifestations.In a trinity of themes, he looks at "progress", "terrorism" and "politics".The "scare quotes" are necessary here, because the reader may discover wholly new definitions of these terms within these pages.With incisive wit and deep insight, he examines the dedication to "progress" - where it came from and what it means now.A careful observer, he explains that "progress" is meaningful in the process of science.In the hands of politicians, industry and modern education, it is but a superstition.The world, he says, is "suffering from disseminated primatemaia - a plague of people."In his view "Homo sapiens" has evolved into "Homo rapiens", stripping the planet of resources with little idea of the impact it's having.The plague must be curtailed like any other infection.The first step in that therapy is shedding the belief that resources are limitless and technology can replace shortfalls.

He is scornful of the "war on terror", knowing that clumsy thinking followed by clumsy action easily creates more terrorists than it eliminates.The "crusade" now under way is simply generating fresh enemies.These antagonists are perhaps even more dedicated to destruction than those who launched the World Trade Center attacks.In "Washington's New Jacobins", Gray demonstrates the fallacies of using authority and military power to impart ideologies.It wasn't successful in the French or Communist revolutions, so there's little reason for thinking it will be accomplished by the Anglo-American Axis.The evangelists of the new faith are the neo-cons in Washington and their acolytes on Downing Street ."Dr Billy Graham has joined forces with Dr Strangelove", forging a bizarre and dangerous alliance.

As a heretic against the new orthodoxy, Gray seems to be standing alone.Heretics can be destructive, but they can also provide constructive pointers.Gray's approach isn't a hysterical rant - he's too knowledgeable for that.Instead of grand, sweeping and futile gestures such as Afghanistan and Iraq, Gray seeks a gradualist approach to issues.His method requires scrutiny and understanding of the underlying conditions of any issue.The approach requires work and people to perform the tasks.Read this and find out where you can make a contribution.[stephen a. haines - Ottawa, Canada]

Not for the Faint of Heart
When I was younger I used to argue with others that belief in God was irrational and nothing more than superstition. I eventually realized that this was very upsetting to many people and stopped. Unknown to me, my own faith at the time was what John Gray calls liberal humanism, a belief that science and reason can lead to human progress. Over many years I have gradually became less sure of this. "Heresies" and John Gray's previous book "Straw Dogs" completed my disillusionment. I find he is as unsettling for me as I was for others.

John Gray is a Professor of European Thought at the London School of Economics. He has written several books on economics and modern politics and at one point was even an advisor to the government of Margaret Thatcher.

In this book John Gray brilliantly exposes the vanity and hubris of the human species and in particular the view that secular humanism is really a religion with God left out.

"Heresies" is a collection of 24 of his essays which were published in the "New Statesman" magazine during the period leading up to, during, and after the present war in Iraq. The issues he addresses are quite wide ranging, from a discussion of why liberal humanism is only a secular rendition of Christian myth, but without the idea of original sin, to the total misguidedness of the war in Iraq.

Like his other books, his writing is a model of clarity and precision in the statement of both his own ideas and the ideas of others. He has the extraordinary gift of making the reader have a revelationary understanding of what in retrospect should have been really quite obvious, but is normally hidden by the fog of humanistic ideals and a faith in the perfectibility of man.

His "Introduction" sets the tone for what is to follow:

"Secular societies are ruled by repressed religion. Screened off from conscious awareness, the religious impulse has mutated, returning as the fantasy of salvation through politics."

"Belief in progress is the Prozac of the thinking class." "...the idea of progress still pervades human culture. In the last analysis it is an assertion of faith in human will- the most absurd faith of all."

"Unlike science, ethics and politics are not activities in which what is learnt in one generation can be passed on to an infinite number of future generations. Like the arts, they are practical skills and they can be easily lost."

"The hope of a better future maybe shaky, but it is the only faith people have left. Lacking any genuine religion, they cannot accept the truth that the future will be little different than the past."

"The theistic belief that humanity has been given dominion over the world,...has been recycled as a humanist belief, that by using the power of science, humanity can escape the natural lawsthat govern all other animals."

In "Biotechnology and the Post-Human Future", he observes that some scientists believe that biotechnology can change the future course of human development and can lead to "what Lenin could only dream of becoming - an engineer of souls." But, unlike E. O. Wilson (whose writings he has a very high regard for), he doesn't share the belief that humanity can take charge of its own evolution.

In "Faith in the Matrix", he concisely outlines the premise of the film The Matrix, and sees that the main idea behind the unreal world of the Matrix is the outcome of a failed attemptto redesign the world so that it no longer contains suffering and evil. Modern governments also look to science and economic growth to achieve this for us since religion and politics have failed to rid the world of evil. He observes that if politics failed to prevent an absurdity such as the war in Iraq, what hope is there of eradicating hunger in the world. Even though technology can never be a surrogate for political action, in practice we will use it to mask problems we cannot solve.

In "When the Machine Stops", he discusses the shortcomings of the ideas of endless economic growth and globalization. Another essay discusses the absurd cult like beliefs of the cryogenics movement whose members think they can have their bodies frozen when they die to be resurrected to life again in the future. His predictions in essays on the consequences of the war in Iraq seem very prescient, but it remains to be seen whether his outlook for the future of Tony Blair will come to pass.

It is hard to argue with the reality of life as John Gray lays it out in this book, but after reading it, I was filled with a sense of gloom and pessimism about the human condition. Fortunately hope and optimism seem to be genetically programmed into the human animal and this soon kicked in again. If John Gray can live in the world as it is, then so can I.

I am not going to let my kids read this book though. ... Read more

Product Description
"Gray challenges many time-honored beliefs about the battle . . . (and) brings in as much as possible the testimony of the Indian witnesses . . . which generations of historians have dismissed. . . . The contrasts in (this) book . . . reinstate the basic components of what still attracts the imagination to the Little Big Horn."--Los Angeles Times Book Review. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (13)

Excellent account of the Little Bighorn fight
This book is actually in two parts. The first half is a biography of sorts of the half Sioux, half white scout Mitch Boyer, who served with various military units on the Plains beginning in the 1850s and ended his life with George A. Custer at the Little Big Horn in June 1876. The second half is a detailed, at some points even minute-by-minute, account of Custer's Last Stand. Examining all the evidence (though disregarding but not totally dismissing the archaeological evidence that was just being made known in the 1980s), John S. Gray reconstructs the last week or so of Custer's campaign, concentrating especially on the afternoon of June 25 when Custer and the Seventh Cavalry met their demise.

A scientific historian, Gray introduces time-motion graphs to depict the movements of troops and Indians on the battlefield. More constructive for me are the itinerary tables that do pretty much the same thing but in a different configuration. Gray theorizes a general counter-clockwise movement of Custer's troops from the Medicine Tail Coulee to Calhoun Hill and eventually to Custer Hill where (Custer's) Last Stand occurred. His interpretation follows pretty much the standard one (challenged more recently by archaeological reports which extends troop movements beyond Custer Hill). He believes the testimony of Indian scout Curley, who had been with Custer right up to the early action on Custer Hill and then left the scene about a half hour before the final moments of the fight, was generally accurate and valid, though misinterpreted by interviewers at the time. Gray must be commended for insisting that what happened during the last half hour of the fight must remain conjecture only, since hardcore evidence is lacking.

It's hard to imagine a more thorough examination of events surrounding this single battle could be made (that will not stop others from trying, I'm sure), and Gray's account might be the closest we get to what actually happened (barring the uncovering of future evidence or revelations made by archaeological findings). Too detailed to be one's first book on the Little Big Horn fight, it will surely be devoured by anyone with a strong interest and some already acquired background information concerning the battle. An important study, highly recommended.

Did I read the right book?
After reading the glowing reviews here on this book, I purchased it and went to work on it. I have to say, this is probably the most disappointed I've been in any book in a long time. Yes, the author puts together some impressive time/motion study. And I did gain some insights into both the battle and the causes of the campaign.

However, I found the text very dry.MitchMitch was here.Mitch went there.Mitch did this.Mitch did that. I also was overwhelmed with the details of who was where when. In the middle of all this detail the author has a hard time giving you his main point behind all the statistics.

I also didn't like the huge number of assumptions on speeds he made to arrive at his conclusions. He may well be correct, but anyone can make a theory fit the facts if they toy with the numbers.What is "trotting speed"? What is trotting speed over rough terrain?What is it uphill vs. downhill? Do units trot constantly or make stops now and then?The whole time/motion study thing left me unconvinced.It is at best a theory.

Surprisingly, a minority of the book was about the battle itself. I realize the author may feel it's already been covered.But his concentration on who was where when left way too many details of the participants unrevealed. It came off as very dry.Why did Reno do what he did? Or Benteen?The author made assertions about their motives, but gave relatively little foundation for his assertions, relative to the masses of data on less interesting topics.

I think the author did a great job at what he set out to do.It just wasn't as interesting as I expected. And the lack of detailed battle and campaign maps was disappointing. One gets lost in all the names of various coulees, ridges, knolls, hills, fords, and other bodies of water.

I found the time/motion graphs very difficult to read, with some variables on them not even indicated on the legend.But I did figure them out.I think he could have used a much better layout to show the timeline of events.I kept having to page back to reference previous graphs as he added more information.Past a point the mind can't keep it all organized, and more effective visual aids would have helped.

I was left with many unanswered questions about the battle.Topics such as weapon effectiveness, actual tactics used, etc, he seemed to just ignore in favor of his extensive analysis of who was where at what time.

I have read other books that give much better overlays of what happened and why, but lack the depth of this book.I'm hoping to find one that puts it all together.

This is for Rory Coker
This is an outstanding work, and Gray did a great deal of work to piece togather the Indian accounts of the final battle and like his work shows the last stand wasn't on Custer hill, but the rush to the river to escape the attack on Custer hill from behind by Two Moon's force. Two Moon's account doesn't go into much detail and has to be put togather with the other accounts to know Mitch is the one leading the men towards the river after Tom is killed on the Hill by Rain in the Face. Most do agree the last soldier standing at the Custer battlefield was Sgt. Bulter.
The men rushing to the river and death were for the most part E company, Dr. Lord and Mitch Boyer (who was already wounded).

There is only one more mystery of the this battle to be solved and that is the horse found miles away dead and shot in the head by the trooper, with its oat bag full and gear intact (which means someone other than Curly made it out of the battle, which means it had to happen before the final stand and best bet it happen when the horses were chased away from Calhoun and Keogh's command by Crazy Horse's force).

Fascinating account of Custer's Last Stand
Essentially a physicist's interpretation of the Battle of Little Bighorn, author John S. Gray's "Custer's Last Campaign: Mitch Boyer and the Little Bighorn Reconstructed" is a fascinating account of one of the most storied battles ever to take place on American soil. And this was a battle, with more than 350 men, women and children killed in the span of two furious hours on the dusty slopes of 1876 southeast Montana.

This is not a book for beginners of Custer/Montana lore. It can be extremely tedious at times as Gray utilizes time-motion studies to piece together the puzzle of what happened during the Seventh Calvary's final minutes. Since every man of the U.S. Army was killed during this prong of the battle, there are no eyewitness military accounts. Yes, hundreds of Native Americans survived, but few spoke of this battle for fear of punishment and hatred of Anglo historians. Crazy Horse, one of the few Native American leaders during this confrontation, was assassinated a week after arriving on the reservation. So this very important man's account was never taken. Thus, we are left with a hodgepodge of hazy Native American reconstructions.

Visiting the battlefield today, which stretches over several miles, solemn white headstones mark the spot where bodies of the Seventh Calvary were found. The location of these stones are included in Gray's complex, mathematical equations. What he's intricately pieced together, with the help of eyewitness accounts, archaeological digs and his own analytical mind, is a realistic result of this unusual battle. His conclusions are perhaps outside of the realm of what people would consider today.

The myth surrounding Custer and Little Bighorn has been shaped by such matinee films as "They Died With Their Boots On," "Little Big Man" and television's "Son of the Morning Star." These films portray Custer as headstrong, vain, heroic and, in one case, a tad insane. But each version, thematically forged by the decade it was filmed, portrays Custer fighting gallantly to the last, standing alone in buckskins while angrily firing his pistol at the approaching Native American hordes. Custer, as if performing the concluding act of Shakespeare's "Hamlet," falls dead to the ground in bloody, poetic, slow motion. It makes for a great painting hanging above the neighborhood bar.

The reality, revealed by Gray's novel, is Custer did indeed have a battle plan rather than making a vain stab at glory. But his forces were simply overwhelmed, chaos ensued, and panicking men were run down like herds of buffalo. It's not very poetic, but has war truly ever been? To understand America's fascination with this battle, one must first read Evan S. Connell's "Son of the Morning Star," one of the greatest historical nonfiction novels ever written.

Gray discards such weighty wisdom like an old blanket, and scientifically gets to the root of what actually happened. A Last Stand does indeed take place on Custer Hill, where Custer's body was found. Survivors panic, some commit suicide, and Boyer and company frantically run west, fighting and killing in a froth-like animal panic. But west is towards the Native American village they were attacking in the first place. They are then desperately cornered in a ravine, a small gully which can be stared at to this very day.

When the U.S. Army rides into a primitive village, shooting defenseless women and children, the primitive man will fight back if for no other reason than to protect their families. Like poking a stick into an ant hill, Custer and his Seventh Calvary were overwhelmed, the sorry battle ending in a ditch. Men attempted to claw their way out, perhaps asking themselves how they ended up in such a remote location, dying the loneliest of deaths.

This battle haunts us for a number of reasons, mainly because of our inhumane treatment of the Native American people. So we obsessively analyze this epic Homerian battle, trying to find a moment of heroism, a brief glimpse to help salve our morally guilty wounds. But all we find in Gray's account is wide-eyed reality, and desperate men crying in a ditch. Gray's novel details these horrors in scientific fashion, and unknowingly provides a glimpse of the dangers of American warrior vanity.

Fascinating Reconstruction of Custer's Stand
The reader becomes mesmerized and impressed by the thorough and meticulous process of constantly checking witness testimony with known topography and horse/walking/etc. mph rates, then time/motion studies with all possible data examined to see what plausible explanations can be more pushed forward as likely scenarios.

At the center here is the infamous Indian scout, Mitch Boyer and the testimony of the young Curly, survivor with Custer.

Amazing how the evidence Gray presents turns Custer 180o around from what is historically bantered, an aggressive disobiendent hawkish leader.Gray's reconstruction reveals soldier who emphasized and implemented what orders were given to him, to pin the Indians from left flank escape, and all the time awaiting Benteen's company and ammo train, which never arrived in time.

Disappointed that no chronology chain here shown how the followup takes place to discover the battlefield.Possibly Gray's other books on this subject cover that.

Remarkably well written, able to keep this reader's attention easily even with all the careful calculation checks, etc. ... Read more

Product Description

Make the best impression at work -- on Mars or Venus.

• Increase your performance by giving you the tools to improve communication, promote teamwork, and enhance working relationships.
• Increase your productivity by providing a greater awareness and appreciation of the diverse characteristics within each of us—and how these differences can positively or negatively affect productivity.
• Increase your effectiveness by empowering you to overcome frustration and resolve conflict in difficult communication situations.
• Increase your morale by utilizing interactive techniques that will promote respect and build trust.

Applying his trademark practical advice to everyday office issues, John Gray will teach you how to achieve your goals and how to make the workplace a source of fulfillment.

... Read more

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Customer Reviews (3)

Meta-fiction on the installment plan.
How many tens of thousands of us want to have written a book? Notice I did not say anything about going through all the work necessary to actually write one. John Tunnock, our stereotypical never married, ex-teacher, ex-schoolmaster hero, has made a post-retirement second career of not getting that often promised book written. But, he is working on it.

Ancient Greece seems to be the desired starting point of the unwritten book, with Socrates our main character. Since we meet Socrates late in his life, we know from our own school days that this portion of the book isn't going to last for too many pages.

Tunnock's story makes a stop in 15th century Italy to visit Brother Filippo before deeply immersing us in the story ofHenry James Prince and his Agapemonites in 19th century England. We are led to believe the Prince part is a different story. We do get back to Socrates before it's too late.

Interspersed with the attempts to have written a book we are treated to the story of The Life of John Tunnock. While he was pretty much a jerk, as a jerk with money he was pretty well liked (even if he never seems to finish that book).

Compared with Gray's Lanark, it's doubtful this book will be a conversation piece at the cocktail party. I can imagine many claiming to have read Lanark but few bothering to mention Old Men in Love. To those, like me, who like to read those books that are difficult to classify (much less review), this will be enjoyable. Those who don't like to wander too far afield from books with beginnings, middles and ends, should avoid this one.

I do wonder - if a book is about the writing of a book by someone with no writing skills, is it still meta-fiction? Or is it meta-folly? Perhaps Old Men in Love qualifies as both.

Good but not Alasdairs best
There is often more than meets the eye with Alasdairs novels, hidden meanings and obscure references, so its very possible/likely I missed something when reading this, but I don't think its his best work. Its a quick read and felt like it had been written quickly (maybe Alasdair thinks he doesnt have another 20 years left to rewrite Lanark?)

In terms of asthetics, OMIL has a few nice chapter headings etc, but nothing like Lanark or Pretty things, if I was buying again I would be tempted to save a few quid and make do with the paperback. You could get some tunnocks caramel wafers with the change.

5 stars to counteract the other ludicrous review on here (Anyone who thinks Gray should be read on some electronic gizmo is missing the point entirely)

Where's the Kindle
If you don't produce a kindle...to force consumers to pay the higher dead tree prices...you get slammed with one star!!!!! -_-I love Gray's work...have been a fan for years...but it just ain't cool to stick it to Kindle App (iPad) readers!!!! ... Read more

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Con el libro Los Hombres son de Marte, Las Muieres son de Venus, en el primer puesto de la lista de bestsellers del New York Times el doctor John Gray ha ayudado a miles de parejas a mejorar sus relaciones, haciéndolas más amorosas y afectuosas. Ahora examina el lugar donde la buena comunicación más se necesita pero donde muchas veces falta: en el dormitorio.Léalo con su pareja y ¡láncense a un amor fuera de este mundo!

¡:Puede sobrevivir la pasión en una relación monógama a largo plazo? ¿Pueden los hombres y las muieres entender, aceptar y apreciar las diferencias entre los dos en el dormitorio? Claro que sí dice el doctor Gray, Marte y Venus en el dorinitorio explica como, podemos hacer para relacionarnos mejor con nuestra pareja y mantener ardiendo el fuego de la pasión y lograr una intimidad mucho más profunda.

El romance florece cuando nos damos cuenta y aceptamos que los hombres y las mujeres tienen muy diferentes necesidades físicas.El doctor Gray enseña como hacer pequeños pero importantes cambios en nuestros horarios, actitudes, y métodos para que los dos miembros de una pareja estén felices en el dormitorio y con la relación entre ellos.

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Martes y venus en el dormitorio
El libro es una excelente guía para entender cómo las relaciones humanas pueden arruinarse por no saber comprender al otro y lo mejor es que puede ser una excelente guía para intentar salvar una relación.
La lectura es fácil y entretenida con ejemplos concretos de situaciones reales... Altamante recomendable para aquellos que quieren conocer al otro sexo y tratar de mantener una sana relación de pareja ... Read more

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In the land of Oz
Just finished reading The Making of John Ledyard, and was completely immersed for days.Although Ledyard seems an obscure character, his association with some of the greatest men of his time elevated him to a position that makes his life worth studying, and the connection to empire that Mr. Gray uses to put his life in context helps paint an interesting life and leaves the reader wanting more.The world that we see through Ledyard's eyes is almost Oz like in its strangeness, with imperial cities rising out of the wilderness and Pacific islanders acting like pixies, there is a sense of magic unfolding as we come upon these places for the first time.And through it all John Ledyard trudges down his own yellow brick road of destiny.Great read, highly recommended. ... Read more

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John Gray is the bestselling author of such books as Straw Dogs and Al Qaeda and What it Means to be Modern which brought a mainstream readership to a man who was already one of the UK's most well respected thinkers and political theorists.

Gray wrote Enlightenment’s Wake in 1995 – six years after the fall of the Berlin Wall and six years before the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center. Turning his back on neoliberalism at exactly the moment that its advocates were in their pomp, trumpeting 'the end of history' and the supposedly unstoppable spread of liberal values across the globe, Gray’s was a lone voice of scepticism. The thinking he criticised here would lead ultimately to the invasion of Iraq. Today, its folly might seem obvious to all, but as this edition of Enlightenment’s Wake shows, John Gray has been trying to warn us for some fifteen years – the rest of us are only now catching up with him.

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The Good and the Bad
This is a book that intends to point out the flaws in the "enlightenment project" and liberalism. Particularly, the "enlightenment project" is the endeavor to find a set of universally-valid, context-independent, principles that, when followed, lead to civil society and unbounded progress. By liberalism, Gray is taking aim at ideas (proclaiming to be neutral toward any conception of the good life) that would allow individuals to live as individuals free to pursue their own visions of the good life.

Particularly, Gray (himself a former libertarian-leaning liberal) argues that there are some contradictions embedded in liberalism and the enlightenment project that he things will ultimately lead to its demise. The big contradiction he refers to is in the simultaneous quest to maintain state neutrality toward conceptions of the good life and its need to circumscribe limits to what can and cannot be pursued. The latter, of course is both necessary and antithetical to the idea of state neutrality, leaving liberalism with a conundrum. (Another problem Gray sees with liberalism is its failure to see group-membership, tradition, etc, as values that could be seen by people as overriding individual liberty. Gray, in other words, worries that liberalism simply cannot succeed in areas where group membership or [non-liberal]tradition are more appealing than individual liberty, hence showing that liberalism is not at all neutral.)

I agree with all of this (and recommend that readers also read Fish'sThe Trouble with Principle for some good argument against the idea of neutral principles.). But there are several problems, particularly when Gray argues that value pluralism (a la Isaiah Berlin) does not favor liberal conclusions. The idea is that since values can very legitimately conflict, liberal values like individiualism, procedural justice, etc, are not sacrosanct, and thus, liberalism unjustly privileges some values over others.)

There are a few responses that I don't think Gray considers: first, ANY society structured by ANY set of rules will privilege some values above others, immunizing some of them from trade-off in the case of conflict. This is not at all unique to liberalism, and arguing that liberalism privileges some values thus does NOTHING to show that any other system avoids this problem. (I'd argue that no system of government can avoid privileging some values over others without devolving into anarchy.)

Second, with that said, it seems fairly uncontroversial to claim that liberalism allows the widest scope possible for individuals (and groups) to pursue conflicting values. Just because liberal states are not neutral does not mean that they are not MORE neutral than other governmental set-ups. If this is wrong, Gray does not show it or attempt to show it.

Lastly, Gray is absolutely nebulous when discussing how we decide that a government set-up (liberalism or any other) is legitimate other than to talk about a minimum standard that they would have to meet in providing their citizens with conditions necessary for pursuit of good lives. But HOW is this to be gauged? I would suggest that democracy is the only great way to gauge whether citizens are provided these things, but I can hear Gray arguing that this would privilege democracy. It is really unclear how else, though, we could ensure that states were providing these minimum conditions. (To put this objection concretely, would Gray have judged Saddam's Iraq or Kim's North Korea to be acceptable because the government attested that citizens were well treated? I suspect that there is a contradiction in Gray's suggestion of 'minimum standards' and his desire not to hold any political principles - democracy in this case - as overriding. If I'm wrong, he's given me no reason to suspect it. (In fact, he does't seem to tackle any possible objections to his philosophy.)

In short, this is a challenging book to think about - particularly if you have followed the development of value plurlaism by folks like Berlin, Raz, Kekes, and Galston. I find it difficult to argue with Gray's premises, but think his illiberal conclusions could use either some rethinking or some additional argument. ... Read more

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In his travels, lectures, and seminars, the book John Gray has been most often asked to write is a parenting book. After years of serious thought, workshops, and practical applications, John Gray has created a brilliantly original and effective system that he calls positive parenting, for children of all ages, from birth though the teenage years. Completing the notion that Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, he adds. . .and Children Are from Heaven.

John Gray has discovered that children today do not need to be motivated by fear of punishment. Instead, they can easily be motivated by reward and the natural, healthy desire to please their parents.

Children Are from Heaven covers the different skills of positive parenting to help improve communication, increase cooperation, and motivate your children. Central to this new approach to parenting are the five positive messages your children need to learn again and again:

It's okay to be different

It's okay to make mistakes

It's okay to express negative emotions

It's okay to want more

It's okay to say no, but remember mom and dad are the bosses

When these messages are put into practice -- and John Gray shows you how -- your children will develop the necessary skills for successful living: forgiveness of others and themselves, sharing, delayed gratification, self-esteem, patience, persistence respect for others and themselves, cooperation compassion, confidence, and the ability to be happy. With this new approach, you will be allowing your children to develop fully during each stage of their growth.

John Gray's reassuring message is that children are from heaven and they already have within themselves what they need to grow. Your job as a parent is to support that process. By applying the five messages and different skills of positive parenting, your children will receive what they need to become more cooperative, confident, and compassionate.Amazon.com Review
Psychologist John Gray (he of Men Are from Mars...fame) cites a need to shift from "fear-based parenting" (a punitiveand oppressive approach to child rearing) to "love-based parenting"(which accepts children's desires and negative emotions while stillsetting reasonable limits). With child and teen violence increasing,rampant low self-esteem, substance abuse, teen pregnancy, andattention deficit disorder, he says, "the Western free world isexperiencing a crisis in parenting. Almost all parents today arequestioning both the old and the new ways of parenting. Nothing seemsto be working."

He suggests "Five Messages of Positive Parenting" that willfacilitate such a shift:

1. It's okay to be different.
2. It's okay to make mistakes.
3. It's okay to express negative emotions.
4. It's okay to want more.
5. It's okay to say no, but remember mom and dad are the bosses.

Although his parenting philosophy is not necessarily revolutionary(think "positive discipline"), Gray manages to keep this parentingprimer contemporary by weaving in specific challenges ofnew-millennium families--such as our tendency to be consumer-drivenand overscheduled. "When parents learn what their children reallyneed, they are less motivated to create money to acquire things andmore motivated to create time to enjoy their family," Graywrites. "The greatest wealth for a parent today is time." --GailHudson ... Read more

Customer Reviews (48)

Great read for Parents & Adults who deals with little ones
A friend of mine recommended this book to me and I was glad that she has recommended.I found some of the advices pretty helpful and the philosophy at looking children very insightful.

Making distinctions of a lifetime!
"Children are from Heaven" is a blessing from a person who has wonderfully practical and simple way to describe solutions for parenting and during the process of learning to become a better Dad, fix a few things of my own.When we get into conflict it is mostly because we place responsibility in inappropriate places, John resets where we would most benefit from placing that responsibility and gives examples in how to do exactly that.

There are 5 messages and 5 skills which when I listened the first time made sense and when listening more felt both right and the interconnections between them became completely clear.

The Best Book of the Year!

John Gray is the man.
This book is excellent and a must read for any parent, or teacher, or anyone who deals with kids on a regular basis.

From heaven- yes.
Yes, makes you realise what you knowI guess. But it is a good reinforcement of thoughts regarding children, and how to deal with certain situations.

Simply great
I bought this book used from Amazon and honestly looks like new to me. I would suggest this book as best present for a baby shower! I have 3 kids and it's great to have a look at it every day. thank you ... Read more