Amazon.com
The Great Divorce is C.S. Lewis's Divine Comedy: the narrator bears strong resemblance to Lewis (by way of Dante); his Virgil is the fantasy writer George MacDonald; and upon boarding a bus in a nondescript neighborhood, the narrator is taken to Heaven and Hell. The book's primary message is presented with almost oblique tidiness--"There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, 'Thy will be done,' and those to whom God says, in the end, 'Thy will be done.'" However, the narrator's descriptions of sin and temptation will hit quite close to home for many readers. Lewis has a genius for describing the intricacies of vanity and self-deception, and this book is tremendously persistent in forcing its reader to consider the ultimate consequences of everyday pettiness. --Michael Joseph Gross Book Description
C. S. Lewis takes us on a profound journey through both heaven and hell in this engaging allegorical tale. Using his extraordinary descriptive powers, Lewis introduces us to supernatural beings who will change the way we think about good and evil. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (197)

Fun and stimulating
The Great Divorce is a light, one-night read. However, as usual, Lewis manages to meditate on weighty topics. He highlights that the core of faith is based on knowing God and Christ, in contrast to a philosophical understanding of or assent to God's methods and requirements. Permeating this entire fantastical account is the idea that we must die to ourselves in order to really live and to be free. Ultimately, I think the message of the story is that faith is not a matter of hedging our bets. As Lewis points out in this fantasy, "There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, 'Thy will be done,' and those to whom God says, in the end, 'Thy will be done.'" There is no marriage between Heaven and Hell, hence The Great Divorce!

One of the true classics of Christian fiction!
Some people claim that the process of "speculating" about certain things that are not mentioned in the Bible (when it comes to discussing Christian theology) is dangerous at best and heretical at worst.This is probably because it's usually done poorly.That is not the case in this parable/allegory of the afterlife written by one of the great writers of the modern era.Lewis does a masterful job at not only describing some of the dangers of the Christian life, but also gradually revealing them in a way that allows for the reader to discover the important points of each argument as his/her own place.This is truly one of the best books I've ever read, and I learn something every time I re-read it.Highly, HIGHLY recommended.

Lewis' visit to Heaven and Hell
I'm not quite sure what I had in mind when I picked this book up, but a full length analogical story definitely was not in my mind when I started. But that really didn't matter, because that's exactly what Lewis wrote in "The Great Divorce".

In it, Lewis used a rather interesting vision of what heaven and hell are (not) like. I say "(not) like" because Lewis admits in his introduction that this was intended from the first to be a moral story, not an exploration of what might be. He explains his purpose in a clarity that only a writer of his caliber can explain - and I highly recommend reading the introduction, because it is shortand simple, but sharply insightful.

The great divorce which Lewis is writing about is that great separation between Heaven and Hell. To me, it seems, the primary concern is with personal priorities and values. How much value do you place in your children, your friends, your personal opinions and soapboxes thereof? Lewis deftly and surgically dissects these and exposes their inherent danger.

I fear to attempt to explain much more for two simple reasons. I think my explanations will confuse more than intrigue, for I don't quite have the talent of Lewis for simplicity. And secondly, I would rather you approach this book with an open mind and experience an allegorical journey which is even more piercing for yourself than the title character, one which is written by a master of the genre.

So yes, I absolutely recommend this book. To everyone. It challenges you to think. I recommend it for teenagers as well as for adults. It would be a great book to read through with your children. Just get your hands on a copy and dive in!

Nothing like it.
No one can write like CS Lewis. The ideas will challenge any conception of Heaven and Hell you have, not to mention eternity and our decision-making process. The narrator does a great job with varying the voices to follow the dialogue of the characters too. I honestly don't think I could read this selection and get as much out of it.

Forks in the road of life and beyond
It is understandably difficult to offer an accurate depiction of any existence beyond that which humans experience on a daily basis. Fortunately for the reader of this text, Mr. Lewis claims to do no such thing. Yes, within this work the main character finds himself in Heaven, as well as Hell; however, it is this reviewer's opinion that the descriptions of these places are far from that which the work is intended to convey. Rather, it is that which this character observes and comes to understand while in these places that carries the weight of the message.

In his typical, albeit masterful, fashion, Mr. Lewis presents the reality of decisions made by every individual. In this case, such decisions expand beyond the temporal and into the realm of the eternal. Within this work, the point is clearly made that indecision is a decision in itself and that the decision to decide or not to decide must be made just as any other seemingly harmless decision if ultimate good is to be attained; perhaps in the form of a Heavenly existence. That is, there must be a complete and total surrender to good which can continuously lead to greater good, as opposed to evil or lingering indecisiveness which, while detrimental actions, behaviors, and/or perceptions can be rectified, can never transform into good simply by pressing onward.

Mr. Lewis vividly illustrates many of the snares which may disallow an attainment of that which is, ultimately, happiness through the means of intriguing character interactions and dialog incorporated within an extremely enjoyable and readable storyline. While Heaven and Hell might be little more than an abstract thought to many, if not most; Mr. Lewis has, yet again, applied a brilliant mind to difficult concepts in such a way that the message is made readily accessible to anyone that is fortunate enough to acquire a copy of this text. The message, however, could be easily missed, misunderstood, or lost by those that do not believe in the eternal consequences of decisions. Nonetheless, this is a must read for those that do subscribe to this belief and may prove to be, at least, thought provoking for those that do not.
... Read more

Amazon.com
Kids tend to blame themselves when parents divorce. The Sandcastles workshop--now mandatory in over a dozen counties throughout the United States--is a half-day group session for children of divorce between the ages of 6 and 17. This intensive workshop helps kids open up and deal with their feelings through drawings, games, poetry, role playing, and other activities. Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce details many of the workshop exercises, all designed to increase communication, understanding, and togetherness between parents and kids.The book is also packed full of suggestions on everything from the best way to break the divorce news to a child (it differs according to age group) to facing the holidays, visitation, custody arrangements, anger, discipline, co-parenting, single parenting, overcompensation, sorrow, custody fights, and much more.

Author Gary Neuman never patronizes or preaches, and although he is technically a child advocate, he proves himself to be an advocate of every member of the divorcing family. Neuman takes a hands-on approach and believes that children need not be permanently scarred by divorce--that with work and time, divorce can actually become a positive force for change. A powerful tool for protecting children caught amid parental struggles, Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce should be required reading in all divorcing families. --Ericka LutzBook Description
Divorce is painful and confusing. Perhaps now more than ever, you want to give your child all the love, support, and guidance he or she needs, but everything seems harder and more complicated. Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way can help. Based on Gary Neuman's phenomenally successful Sandcastles program, which has helped more than fifty thousand children cope with divorce, this warm, empathetic guide shows you:


  How to build a co-parenting relationship--even when you think you can't

  When you or your child should see a therapist

   Age-appropriate scripts for addressing sensitive issues

  What to do when a parent moves away

  How to stop fighting with your ex-spouse

  How to navigate the emotional turmoil of custody and visitation

  How to help your child deal with change

  How to cope with kids' common fears about separation

  How to introduce significant others into the family and help your child cope with a new stepfamily

More than a hundred pieces of artwork from children of divorce will help you appreciate how kids perceive the experience. Dozens of special activities and fun exercises will help you communicate and get closer to your child. This guide shows you that divorce need not be an inevitable blot on children's lives, but an opportunity for them to grow and strengthen the bonds with their parents. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (23)

Simply Awesome
Super Book.When I met my wife, she already had a 3yr old daughter.That was 6 years ago.The book really helped me understand what my new step-daughter was coping with, even at 3/4/5 yrs old, etc.More importantly, I learned how I could be a positive support to her emotional transition and the stress placed on her.Today, I am simply "dad" and she is simply my "daughter" ... I couldn't be more proud.

I would say every person involved in the life of a child who suffers a divorce simply MUST read this book.

Thank you to the author.
Scott Reese
Alabama

Great for parents of children of all ages
This book covers what kids are feeling/thinking/experiecing as their parents go through divorce/separation. Its great for parents to read regarding their childrens behavior during this time. No matter what age your child/ren are this book covers it. It truelly makes understanding the harships of divorce on kids a little easier. a MUST read for all parents going through separation or divorce. an EAXCELLENT book.

Kids and divorce
Some great advice for parents who are going through a divorce. Wish I had had it when I went through my divorce.

This is the one!
Forget any other book (and believe me I went through a lot of them)!
G. Neuman helps you in very warm and positive way (and isn't what you need right now?), to understand the development stages your children are at, how divorce can affect them and most important how to help them. I have 3 children and it was so important for me to go to what is specific to their ages. I love all the little tools you can use to see where your child is at.

Should be required reading for all children whose parents are going through a divorce
If you are going through a divorce and have small children, this book is for you. Children often cannot express their feelings about divorce. They tend to blame themselves or one of their parents. If children are not allowed to express themselves and the feelings they have about their parents divorce are suppressed, deep seated anger brews inside them. Read this book with your kids. It will help them cope with their feelings and learn to accept the divorce.
Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce ... Read more

Customer Reviews (36)

Read it again
My six year old son loved the book. It helps children understand better what divorce is about and what to expect. A must for children going through this.

Helpful book
This book is good for parents and kids living in a divorce situation. The parents part give suggestions for dealing with what the kids are going through. This is a handy reference book, in an easy read way.

This would be good for an older child
My son was 3 1/2 when I first started to read this book to him, because he started to want to know why his Mommy and Daddy didn't live together, even though it's all he's really ever known since he turned a year old.

This book has a lot of scenarios and you can read the sections that apply to your current situation.I think this book would be better for a child who is 6+.

In one section, the daughter dinasour is trying to figure out her emotions and becomes frustrated.The illustration has puffs of red clouds about her head.My son refers to it as "The red puffy stuff" and is always concerned about the girl and her feelings.It bothers him that she has the "red puffy stuff" about her head.

As we were going through his toys that he wanted to donate, when he came across this book, he looked at it and said, "That puffy stuff is bad" and put it in the "to donate" box.

Even though this book was written by a man and a woman, I felt that some of the scenarios leaned on the mother, as being the "bad guy", or trying to buy-off the kids too much.

great help
Very easy to explain from the parent point of view and a lot easier for the kids to understand what is happening and why.
Truly a great help

Excellent book to help children understand........
I ordered this book for my 9 year old daughter to help explain to her about the changes going on in our family structure.The book explains a grown-up concept in a childs eyes with colorful pictures and good descriptions. My daughters therapist asked me to get this book for her and I am so happy I did. A must for any age child that is going through changes in their household. I would highly recommend this book. ... Read more

Book Description
In this ground-breaking book, Michele Weiner-Davis gives straightforward, effective advice on how couples can stay together instead of come apart.

Using case histories to illustrate her marriage-enriching, divorce-preventing techniques, which can be used even if only one partner participates, Weiner-Davis shows readers:

* How to leave the past behind and set attainable goals

* Strategies for identifying problem-solving behavior that works -- and how to make changes last

* "Uncommon-sense" methods for breaking unproductive patterns

Inspirational and accessible, Divorce Busting shows readers in pain that working it out is better than getting out.

... Read more

Customer Reviews (42)

Good book, good advice
this book offered some very practical advice on how to mend a marriage and how important it is to try to resolve difference to maintain the marriage. It makes a very valuable point that there's really no point in trying to decide who is to blame for the problems, but just work on fixing them.

HOPE GIVER
This book was recomened by a wonderful Christian Doctor that I work for.He knew my son was going thru a critical time with his wife and offered to purchase this book for him.I got online and ordered one that night.When it arrived it was the first time my son really got excited about the fact that his marraige could be saved.We orderd another one of the books and had it sent to his wife. Truthfully there are not enough books or people that encourage a person to work hard at saving your marraige.Most will tell you to move on.True, saving a marriage is hard, hard, hard work, but this book helps you see it can be done and there are people out there who are willing to help you achive this goal.People with serious marraige problems have a hugh feeling of failure, and feel the only way to succeed is to move on and divorce.This book helps yousee that being successful is finding the strenght and support and making your marriage work again!!!!

This book was the start of saving my relationship
There was a point in my relationship where I didn't know what to do, it was near over.A friend recommended reading this book and I got it right away.There are so many proactive suggestions that you can use that actually work.Of course, this isn't the only thing that did save my relationship, but it sure got me onto a great start.I now recommend my friends who are having difficulties to get this book.It's permanent in my personal library.

Good book
I felt she did a good job writing this book. I think some will benefit, but I found it to be a little too one size fits all for me. I suggest looking into it before buying it.

Read this book before filing for divorce
It is not always possible to prevent a divorce, no matter how much one partner wants to save the marriage. Divorce can be traumatic and life altering, especially to the partner who does not want the marriage to end.
I feel that couples should go to marriage counseling and read this book before filing for divorce, if at all possible. It may not save your marriage, but at least you know you did everything in your power to make your marriage work. Many couples simply give up too soon, not fully understanding the ramifications of divorce.

Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce ... Read more

Book Description

This one-of-a-kind workbook streamlines the divorce process

Customer Reviews (7)

Divorce Planner Organizer Helpful
This is a great book to help a person get their mind wrapped around the practical aspects of a divorce. In the long run it might save you money on legal fees because you will not have to have your attorney hold your hand and guide you through every process, problem or issue, you will be able to get a lot done on your own.The book forces you to think and plan about all the little frustrating details you would rather not deal with.I would recommend combining this book with other divorce books such as "Hit Him Where it Hurts" by Sherri Donovan and "The Ten Biggest Legal Mistakes Women can Make" by Marilyn Barret. "A Judge's Guide to Divorce: Uncommon Advice from the Bench" by Roderic Duncan is extremely helpful and helps you focus on the tough stuff like child custody.

Good advice for a bad time
This is for someone considering divorce and how you get your ducks in a row before hand.

A book that helps organize for life
My husband of 36 years asked for a divorce after informing me of a 3-week affair with a woman 4 years older who'd already had quadruple bypass surgery. Go figure! Shock doesn't come close to describing my state.

However, I was not so shocked that common sense didn't kick in -- two days later I ordered several books on Divorce, including Ms. Sember's: I needed to protect what I could for MY future.

The Divorce Organizer & Planner came in good stead. With tears here and there, I worked those sections that were relevant to me (I didn't need to consider child custody/support issues) and collected documents I would need to go through the divorce process. While I had a consultation with a lawyer to make sure I was collecting the info I'd need (and found out the Workbook was right on target!), I did not retain her right away -- nor did my husband seek legal advice.

4 months after "the news," my husband was killed in a freak accident.

Because I'd "done my homework" with the assistance of the Organizer & Planner, I had all the documents and papers necessary to handle the financial and legal affairs that accompany a death: Birth Certificates, Social Security Cards, and Drivers Licenses for BOTH of us, Marriage Certificate, Life Insurance policies, Financial accounts, Lists of assets and liabilities, etc., etc., etc. I was able to obtain benefits, complete probate, and process life insurance claims forthrightly because all the information was readily at hand.

Ms. Sember's book is really a must have for everyone, those contemplating a divorce or not. I really should make it a point to write her a letter and let her know how very helpful she was at a very difficult time in my life.

Great book about understanding divorce!
I never thought I'd be in this situation. Divorce is one of those things that happens to other people. With all the emotions surrounding this life changing event, I found it hard to concentrate on the legal and financial aspects of divorce - until I found this book.

As I read it, I felt like the author was taking me step-by-step through the entire process from getting my records and banking information organized right up through changing my last name and rewriting my will. Everything was covered in an easy to understand language. The worksheets, checklists and logs inside the book were very helpful.

The suggestions, inside tips and strategies offered for court appearances and settlement options are comprehensive.

This book has been by my side and used as a reference throughout my divorce. Ms. Sember has helped me to organize all the paperwork and to better understand the process of divorce. Thank you!!!

Nifty Guide in a Difficult Time
Brette McWhorter Sember's "Divorce Organizer Planner" is quite the useful guide. Not only has she filled it with many helpful forms, she has sprinkled tips throughout the guide's 17 chapters.

Readers can read the book front to back, or skip to particular sections they need, be they protection issues, settlement options, custody matters, or even how to get the divorce rolling. The appendix, too, offers helpful information. There, Sember lists more than 30 websites, as well as a full reading list for adults and children.

I particularly think Sember's tip of only venting to friends and family, not a lawyer, is a gentle reminder that divorce is, as far as the law is concerned, a business transaction. To deal with the emotional aspects of divorce, Sember wisely directs readers to consider mediation, which has a high chance of producing the best long-term results. ... Read more

Book Description

Your ex-spouse is bad-mouthing you to your children, perhaps even trying to turn them against you. If you handle the situation ineffectively, you could lose your children's respect, their affection -- even, in extreme cases, contact with them.

Customer Reviews (56)

A very thankful mother.....
I am a mother of an 11-year old girl and was recently involved in a very high-conflict divorce.My daughter was sytematically stripped of her "mother/daughter" memories which were then replaced with father/daughter memories that didn't exist.

I had no idea what was happening let alone knowing how to neutralize my daughter's anger and the degredation of our once loving and incredibly strong relationship.Then, I read "Divorce Poison."It was as if it was written just for us!

I followed every single suggestion Dr. Warshak had for parents in my particular situation, and it WORKED EXACTLY AS HE SAID IT WOULD!

Not only did it work, we are back on track and enjoy an even closer relationship.Thanks to Dr. Warshak, my daughter now knows to trust her own experiences - what SHE sees, what SHE hears, what SHE experiences - rather than what she is told of her experiences.Consequently, she is now BULLET-PROOFED against future manipulation, even though she is still confronted with manipulative situations.She sees the truth for the truth and has become very skilled at identifying what is not truthful.She has regained her deep trust in her mother and our unwavering/strong relationship.

THANK YOU DR. WARSHAK!

Superbly written, informative and very useful
I've read many books in this area, but none as well written, authorative and useful as this one - it should be compulsorary reading for all parents, whether together or separated. The Take Action sections have practical steps that will really help you in your bewilderment and feelings of helplessness and remember that virtually all children benefit from the involvement of both of their parents, so never give up, no matter how hard the struggle or pointless it may all seem. Thankyou, Dr Warshak.

Finally, some actionable advice
Over the past three years, my wife and I have consulted innumerable resources to help us address the toxic environment her ex has created and the poison he has injected into our children.Time after time, we were advised to "take the high road" and essentially do nothing.Even our child psychologist told us, "The kids are fine.They know what is going on and they are fine with both parents.There is no need to address what you think is going on."Meanwhile, our kids continue to blame my wife for breaking up their family, tell her they hate her, tell her she deserves to suffer, tell her she is not their mother anymore, tell her they want to hurt or kill her, reject any overture of affection, and exhibit most of the sypmptoms of alienation as described in the book.Until we came across this book, we were resigned to helplessly watch our children fade away from us and adopt their father's anger, hatred, and violence towards us.

Finding this book felt like a miracle.Every page felt like it was written for us and about us, specifically.In fact, we used the word "poison" to describe what the ex was doing, long before we found this book.

What makes "Divorce Poison" worth every penny are the recommendations for positive ways to take action in every situation and work towards eliminating or reducing the the pain, anger, and alienation.Without the insights and guidance found in the book, we would have continued splitting our time between doing nothing and responding to the children in ways that only served to strengthen their bond with their father and their resolve to hate us.It was also very reassuring to know that we were doing some things right, albeit not enough of the "right" things.By explaining the psychology behind the appropriate reactions, it became very clear what we need to do and say and how we need to do it.

If you are in a situation where your ex is poisoning your children and corrupting their hearts, I highly suggest you read this book.The damage done is not limited to your relationship with them.Because of the nature of the abuse, children carry these scars and distortions into their adult life.This poison will most likely compromise their ability to engage in healthy relationships for the rest of their lives, if the damage is not controlled or reversed.

I can not say enough good things about this book or the author.All I can do is highly recommend to anyone in this situation, to read this book.

Excellent content, much- needed help for parents
This book covers an area I have not seen addressed in the literature, but which is often seen in clinical practice.It gives on-target, detailed descriptions of parental behavior ranging from mild alienation to full-blown, premeditated alientation.The author also provides practical ideas for combatting each level of behavior.His approach is to NOT be passive in the face of alienation attempts, which I agree is not helpful, in my clinical experience.Highly recommended for any divorcing parent.

Excellent read.
I bought both this book and the one called FAMILY COURT HELL through amazon. If you read Divorce Poison first and FAMILY COURT HELL next, you actually see what harm is done to children where one parent tries to poison the childrens minds against the other parent. In FAMILY COURT HELL, a real life child access case that went on for ten years, the mother had spent all those years trying to turn her three little girls against their father. But eventually, the mother instead saw her daughters run away from her to be with the dad they still really loved and missed-the mother ended up losing out, and all through her own fault. Both books excellent reads and a must read for any parent whose ex is trying to turn the kids against them-or an ex thinking of trying to poison the kids minds!. ... Read more

Amazon.com
In the United States, half of all marriages do not end in divorce--despite the interference of hell-bent lawyers, biased therapists, the media, and even well-meaning friends. The Divorce Remedy aims to increase this percentage by offering seven clear steps that couples--or even one hopeful spouse--can implement privately. A therapist herself, relationship expert Michele Weiner Davis accurately (and often humorously) shows how typical counseling and communications tactics backfire. Her method for saving a marriage involves an effective blend of subtle and obvious action steps, each taken in specific order. After a myth-busting lecture on the realities of divorce, Weiner Davis thoroughly outlines her simple plan. Intimidating discussion topics andemotional letter writing are not required; as she succinctly puts it, "happiness is a do-it-yourself job." Poignant questions help readers define their own needs, set specific marriage goals, and monitor results. Weiner Davis pays special attention to issues of infidelity, depression, midlife crises, and "passion meltdowns," showing how basic relationship skills (like understanding and patience) can reverse even the most dire marital scenarios. Clients' stories and letters provide ample testimony for the program's success, and despite her own zealous back-patting, Weiner Davis's sensible approach to revitalizing one's marriage seems truly worthy of praise and practice. --Liane Thomas Book Description

In the United States, half of all marriages end in divorce and millions of other couples have resigned themselves to living in loveless marriages. If you are on the verge of becoming one of these statistics but refuse to accept a marital death sentence, you've picked up the right book. With her bestselling book Divorce Busting, and through her private practice and professional seminars, therapist and relationship expert Michele Weiner Davis has helped thousands of couples come back from the brink of divorce. Now she offers you the skills you need to bring your marriage back to life and create a stronger, more loving relationship with your partner.

In The Divorce Remedy, Weiner Davis has created a seven-step program anyone can follow to revitalize even the most damaged marriage. Weiner Davis will be your relationship coach, offering down-to-earth, psychobabble-free guidance and encouragement every step of the way. She teaches you how to identify specific marriage-saving goals, move beyond ineffective, hurtful ways of interacting, and become an expert on "doing what works." Inspirational anecdotes and in-depth case studies show how couples have used these techniques to save their marriages, and how you can use these same techniques to rescue yours.

Weiner Davis also offers solution-oriented strategies for readers to cope with infidelity, Internet obsessions, depression, sexual problems, and midlife crises. And if you think your partner already has a foot out the door, this proven program is a recipe for change, even if only you participate.

Practical and empowering, The Divorce Remedy is the road map you need to get your marriage back on track -- and keep it there. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (29)

a fresh perspective
In a culture where getting a divorce is almost reflexive when any marital problem may occur, this book provides an alternative frame of mind.My hope is that many would read this book as a preventative measure; before their marriage is on the rocks.Although, there are many examples in this book where such marriages have been saved as well. Easy to read and practical application points.

VERY GOOD BOOK TO SAVE A MARRIAGE AND/OR IMPROVE ANY RELATIONSHIP
This book is well written, empathetic, specific, and action oriented.It, along with the books and CD's by Ellen Kriedman on the same subject will change your marriage relationship or any relationship for the better. Highly recommended.boland7214@aol

PS: I forgot to mention that the book,"Divorce Busting" is by the same author."Divorce Busting" was written in about 1991 and this book was written about 10 years later.Which is "the better book"?I dunno.But, one would think the later book would be an improvement over the earlier book.I can't say for certain but that's the way it would seem, correct?But, I do like the title,"Divorce Busting"!:o)

More like a relationship book than a divorce book
I agree with A Customer on this one.While this book is very matter of fact, it doesn't get into the touchy feely side like other books I have read (that's a good thing), it has clear steps on what do to and how to do.The practical side of me likes that.

However, I think that most of the scenarios she described were run-of-the-mill problems as the previous poster suggested.I was thinking, these people are getting divorced over this?This should be a marriage communication book, not a brink of divorce book.She did mention in the beginning about abusive relationships.Not ALL marriages should be salvaged, so she did point that out.Unfortunately, I don't believe everything else that is non-abusive should be saved.Some people out there ARE happier without the emotionally abusive, passive aggressive person and do find better.

It then left me to analyze the issues I have in my own relationship and I still question whether it's worth saving.After reading the book, I didn't feel overwhelmed with a gung-ho attitude that I'm saving this shambles of a relationship come hell or high water.The issues I am seeing are more serious (not as serious as physical abuse or drug addiction).I'm still questioning it - I don't know if I want it to work.I guess I am still open to new ideas as I keep reading books rather than getting out.

The step where you write down what you are seeking in a good marriage (turning complaints into attainable positive goals) did take me sometime to formulate and was beneficialHowever, I came up with an entirely different person - one I don't think my spouse can or wants to be.

The book seems to black and white to me, but perhaps what I am searching for I won't be able to find in a book.

This book helps you no matter what!
My wife asked me for a divorce recently and this book would have helped if I had it that day. The tools and methods she give do help the situation and in many cases they improve your self esteem. Even if my wife does eventually leave me(I'm hopeful she won't) I can survive because this book has helped megain my integrity and self respect back. This book is a must if your marriage is in trouble! Read it all and use the tools. It can only help. I had more help from this book than our marriage and personal counselor. And it was a lot cheaper!

The Marriage Can be Saved!
This book demonstrates that even if you have been resigned to living in a miserable marriage, there can be hope for rebuilding it. The Divorce Remedy, the Proven Seven Step Program for Saving Your Marriage prescribes a revitalization program than anyone can follow. Specific marriage-saving goals are identified and positive communication models are provided. This book is a must read for anyone still wishing to give their marriage one more chance. ... Read more

Amazon.com
During the last 40 years, our society's views on how families arecreated and how they operate has undergone a tremendous shift. In TheUnexpected Legacy of Divorce, authors Judith Wallerstein, Julia Lewis, andSandra Blakeslee have assembled a variety of stories from people of differentages and life stages. Some are children of divorce, some are from families thatstayed unhappily intact, but all of them offer valuable information important toall of us as parents, children, and members of society at large. Separatechapters focus on the different roles children take on in the event of a divorceor unhappy marriage, ranging from positive role model to deeply troubledadolescent. In many cases, the people interviewed continue to define themselvesas children of divorce up to 30 years after the occurrence; this is described byone subject as "sort of a permanent identity, like being adopted orsomething."

Both encouraging and thought-provoking, the final chapter questions how wemaintain the freedom made possible by divorce while, at the same time,minimizing the damage. The authors' response to this question begins withpragmatic suggestions about strengthening marriage--not bland "family values"rhetoric but practical how-to ideas combined with national policy initiativesthat have been making the rounds for years. With fascinating stories andstatistics, Wasserstein, Lewis, and Blakeslee have illuminated the improvementswithin reach while our society experiences these massive changes in it's mostfundamental relationships. --Jill LightnerBook Description
Twenty-five years ago, Judith Wallerstein began talking to a group of 131 children whose parents were all going through a divorce. She asked them to tell her about the intimate details of their lives, which they did with remarkable candor. Having earned their trust, Wallerstein was rewarded with a deeply moving portrait of each of their lives as she followed them from childhood, through their adolescent struggles, and into adulthood. With The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, Wallerstein offers us the only close-up study of divorce ever conducted -- a unique report that will change our fundamental beliefs about divorce and offer new hope for the future. 

Wallerstein chooses seven children who most embody the common life experiences of the larger group and follows their lives in vivid detail through adolescence and into their love affairs, their marriage successes and failures, and parenting their own children. In Wallerstein's hands, the experiences and anxieties of this generation of children, now in their late twenties to early forties, come to life. We watch as they struggle with the fear that their relationships will fail like those of their parents. Lacking an internal template of what a successful relationship looks like, they must invent their own codes of behavior in a culture that offers many models and few guidelines. Wallerstein shows how many over-came their dread of betrayal to find loving partners and to become successful, protective parents -- and how others are still struggling to find their heart's desire without knowing why they feel so frightened. She also demonstrates their great strengths and accomplishments, as a generation of survivors who often had to raise themselves and help their parents through difficult times. 

For the first time, using a comparison group of adults who grew up in the same communities, Wallerstein shows how adult children of divorce essentially view life differently from their peers raised in intact homes where parents also confronted marital difficulties but decided on balance to stay together. In this way she sheds light on the question so many parents confront -- whether to stay unhappily married or to divorce. 

The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce should be essential reading for all adult children of divorce, their lovers, their partners, divorced parents or those considering divorce, judges, attorneys, and mental health professionals. Challenging some of our most cherished beliefs, this is a book that will forever alter how we think about divorce and its long-term impact on American society. Download Description
Twenty-five years ago, Judith Wallerstein began talking to a group of 131 children whose parents were all going through a divorce. From those conversations have come two bestsellers: Surviving the Breakup and Second Chances. Now the third volume of this longitudinal study, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce brings all of her research up to the present and shows for the first time how children are affected by divorce long into adulthood. Using a comparison group of adults who grew up in the same communities but whose parents never divorced, Wallerstein shows how adult children of divorce essentially view life differently from their peers in intact homes, and also sheds light on the question that so many parents confront—whether to stay unhappily married or to divorce. This book is a landmark cultural event that will change the way all of us view divorce. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (84)

Unexpected Legacy of Divorce . . .
What a great book!I love that the study was done over 25 years and that children of divorce were measured against functional and dysfunctional intact families.I totally recommend this read.It is an immense help to read of others who understand what a child of divorce experiences, especially when people who haven't experienced it can't seem to put themselves in the shoes of those who have.

As for the business side, the book came in decent timee, but I do not remember ordering a used, but rather a new, book.I read one or two other reviews that mentioned this particular book seller (not Amazon, but rather BORDEBOOK) did not coordinate their available product to the order particulars in regards to CONDITION of the book.

If you are going to buy from BORDEBOOK, I recommend that you buy those items whose condition you will not care too much about.If you are particular about product condition, you will either have to order from someplace else, or just learn to overlook the condition of what you receive.The book was valuable enough to me to lump the condition.I will probably buy a second copy, just not from BORDEBOOK.

The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce
This is the best research and factual information regarding the effects of Divorce on children who are natural psychological victims of their parents'Divorce.Unfortunately, well meaning parents are fairly helpless to alleviate the problems Divorce creates for their children.Many books talk about Divorce in a different light in terms of the effects, this book clearly states the consequences to children, many of which I have seen in my 30years plus as a psychotherapist in Denver, Colorado.Divorce creates many negative effects for children that remain with them forall of their lives.

Hello?Divorce Ain't Good for Kids!
This is an invaluable study, simultaneously profound and deeply disturbing.Researchers/authors Wallerstein, Lewis, and Blakeslee describe a quarter century societal shift of monumental proportions.By the year 2000, 25% of adults under the age of 44 were children of divorce.By and large, however, society had chosen to ignore the elephant in the room of the long term impact of divorce on children.Instead, we comforted ourselves with "myths":
* "The first holds that if parents are happier the children will be happier, too....many adults who are trapped in very unhappy marriages would be surprised to learn that their children are relatively content.They don't care if Mom and Dad sleep in different beds as long as the family is together....Children in postdivorce families do not, on the whole, look happier, healthier, or more well adjusted even if one or both parents are happier....children from divorced and remarried families are more aggressive toward their parents and teachers.They experience more depression....more learning difficulties...more problems with peers....two to three times more likely to be referred for psychological help at school....More of them end up in mental health clinics and hospital settings.There is earlier sexual activity, more children born out of wedlock, less marriage, and more divorce.Numerous studies show that adult children of divorce have more psychological problems than those raised in intact marriages....the myth that children always benefit from divorce that makes parents happier...continues to exert subtle, unconscious influences" (p. xxiii)
* "A second myth is based on the premise that divorce is a temporary crisis that exerts its most harmful effects on parents and children at the time of the breakup.Adult children of divorce are telling us loud and clear that their parent' anger at the time of the breakup is not what matters most.Unless there was violence or abuse or unremitting high conflict, they have dim memories of what transpired during this supposedly critical period" (p. xxv).

Makes you think
The author clearly demonstrates (to her own surprise) that divorce is always and permanently harmful to children.She still thinks that couples sometimes need to divorce, but her studies demonstrate that children from divorced parents will always be handicapped by the divorce, sometimes in surprising ways.

Some of the reviewers are angered over this because for whatever reason they have had to come to terms with a divorce- either their own or their parents.Divorce is like chopping off a hand of your child.Yes, sometimes it is the only option or the best option, but your child is still permanently damaged.Your child can compensate and lead a good and happy life, but it will never be the same as if you had not chopped off her hand.

It does no one any good to deny the consequences of divorce.Sometimes it must still happen, but it always and permanently damages the children.It doesn't help to deny the truth because you don't want people to feel guilty.

Not what I expected
This book was given to me by a friend about a year after my divorce in 2003.A little background about myself and my username: I am indeed a "mister mom" working full time while raising my son by myself, and as a male who is a full-time single parent, I am obviously in the minority.I am also an evangelical Christian.As such, I am not a proponent of divorce and in many cases I believe it represents the selfishness of one or both parents and every effort should be made to salvage the marriage rather than just trade it in for a new one.This is even more important when there are children involved.In my case, however, my spouse had a mental illness (borderline personality disorder) and I believe the divorce was probably the best resolution of what was a very bad situation.It was her decision to leave.However, I was still very saddened that my son is not growing up with the benefit of a conventional, nuclear family, or with a larger female influence in his life.In today's "PC" climate we're led to believe that one loving parent, or two parents of the same gender, can do just as good a job as the conventional male/female parent model that has been in place for millenia.I strongly disagree.Nor do I agree with those who think that divorce itself is somewhat benign, and the problem lies more with the way parents handle it than in the divorce itself.Certain things are traumatic for children, regardless of how civil the parents try to be about it.Even though my son seems well-adjusted, I know there are wounds - some of which may not surface until he is much older.I believe that countless studies support my conclusions.As such, I am deeply skeptical of most "divorce" books because they seek to put a happy face on a situation that rarely has an upside, and are often little more than adults trying to put a positive spin on something the kids inherently know is a bad thing at the core of their being.

So it was with some hesitation that I opened this book that was written by Ms. Wallerstein, a former lecturer at UC Berkeley.I assumed first of all that someone who lectured at the mecca of American liberalism would probably be very critical of the traditional family and extol the virtues of no-fault divorce by insisting that if the parents were happy, then the kids would be happy too.I further assumed that the "unexpected" part of the legacy in this book would be that children of divorce end up turning out just about the same as children of conventional families.In other words, that with all the hype about how "bad" divorce was, the study would "surprisingly" find that divorce wasn't all that bad for kids afterall.

To put it simply: I was completely wrong in my assumptions.The "unexpected" part of the book was indeed unexpected - that kids were much more profoundly negatively affected by divorce than we've been led to believe by those who want to treat single families as the new "norm" and suggest that it is merely one in a variety of equally valid parenting alternatives.

Essentially what we have here is a group of individuals that Wallerstein has followed from their own childhoods into their adulthood - to see how they have fared with their own parents' divorces 25 years later.

Elsewhere I have seen the book criticized because it used such a small sample size (only 7 children are detailed in the book).But I think this fails to recognize that Wallerstein actually used a much larger sample size (60 families) and chose to detail only a handful in this book because she felt their stories were "typical."

What Wallerstein found was that the legacy of divorce is more negative than expected - not better - and that in spite of all the lip service paid by courts and advocacy groups, decisions are rarely made with the best interests of children in mind.Wallerstein is especially critical of the idea of "sharing" children back and forth because children are left with the sense that while their parents may have homes, as children they are merely like a set of car keys, passed back and forth, and end up feeling as though they have no place that is distinctly their own.There ends up being no continuity and most decision are made for the convenience of the parents, not the children.

If you are looking for a "feel good" book that will justify that divorce was done "for the sake of the kids" this isn't your book.It simply lets the data speak for itself: children do not fare better under divorce.Yes, they can turn out OK - and that is certainly the objective with my own son - but it takes considerable work because the lack of two parents in and of itself is a huge handicap for children.Indeed, divorce is much harder than the death of a parent because the child is forced to deal with parents who cannot love one another and remain committed, and it affects their own views of marriage, commitment, and love.Many times these problems do not surface until the grown children enter into their own relationships or marriages.

I found the book fascinating, scholarly, and meticulously researched and documented.The fact that it does not draw upon any particular religious beliefs or traditions for its conclusions and does not engage in moralizing should make the message that much stronger.

If you are considering a divorce "for the sake of the children" you would be wise to read this book first.If you are already divorced, you will likewise find this book helpful as you structure visitation and other aspects of shared parenting responsibilities. ... Read more

Amazon.com
Whether you are the one who leaves or the one who is left, divorce is a painful, wrenching experience, explains author Debbie Ford. Since Ford is comfortable dwelling in the shadow side of life, it's not surprising that she believes that the excruciating pain of divorce can lead to enormous spiritual growth. "Emotional turmoil can be a powerful catalyst to reconnect us with our divine nature," she writes. "It propels us into a journey of self discovery and urges us to learn how to love and accept our entire being." Herein lies the promise of a "spiritual divorce."

Because Ford is a highly effective workshop leader, she has a knack for breaking down spiritual matters into manageable bites. She is also willing to share the truth of her own painful divorce, allowing readers to see her initial pain and consuming resentments. Ford divides her book into seven laws, beginning with the "The Law of Acceptance," where readers are asked to imagine a benevolent divine order at play rather than taking a blaming stance. In the section titled "The Law of Responsibility," Ford encourages readers to gently begin the process of taking responsibility for their own darkest qualities. This is the thrust of Ford's highly respected shadow work--illuminating the dark side so we can stand in divine light. Each section ends with "Healing Action Steps," where Ford suggests specific exercises or meditations. For example, in the final chapter Ford asks readers to make a new "divorce vow" that is a lifelong commitment to one's highest self. --Gail HudsonBook Description

Could the end of your marriage be the first step toward reclaiming your personal power and joyfully living the life of your dreams? If the answer is yes, this book is for you.

Customer Reviews (38)

Practical and Enlightening
I recently experienced betrayal in my life and was faced with divorce.This book helped me to survive the initial pain and begin to build a friendship with my wife.I was able to take the practical and spiritual advice of Debbie Ford and apply it to every part of my life and current situation.I dont know what I would have done without this book.It is a gift that I use in my daily life and also began using it with clients that I see in my psychotherapy practice.I plan on recommending this book to all I come into contact facing a divorce.It will make a difference in many live especially where children are involved.the days of drawn out legal battles concerning divorce and custody are over.It is now time to do these things in a mature and enlightened way and Debbie Ford's book is our blue print for this major paradigm shift.Highly recommended to any seperating or divorcing couples.

Freedom from my divorce story!!!
How sick and tired I was of telling everyone in my life the sad tale of my divorce. "My husband never came through for me, he wasn't who I thought he was, he let me down..." bla, bla, bla.... Until I read this book and came in contact with Debbie Ford's work, I thought I had no other choice but to drag my victim story around with me.How wrong I was!

Little did I know that hidden within my rage about how my husband never came through for me was the realization that I know how to take care of myself!When I let go of the disappointment that he never provided financially for our family I suddenly unleashed my own earning potential (after I stopped waiting for him to do it!).Honestly, nothing has made such a change in my life - both my inner world and my outer world -- as the process outlined in this book.

If you are a parent and are going through or have gone through a divorce, I would also highly recommend Ford's audio program called The Essentials of Extraordinary Parenting - A Self-Guided Coaching Program.

life changing
This book is simply a great way to approach life even if you have never been married and divorced. It is helpful to deal with any kind of loss weather it be from a death or break up. It gives real world examples and useful tools to approach realationships and just learning more about ones self . I highly recommend this book to anyone thinking about marriage or is in a serious relationship

Might as well buy several copies--you'll need them.
I am not going through a divorce, but like everyone else, I have had relationships that didn't work out the way I hoped.A few friends are going through tough times so I read this book to have an understanding of what they are going through and WOW, was I in for a surprise!This book had so much to say to me on ways I can work on myself so that I can have a better marriage and better relationships with kids, friends, co-workers!If both partners care enough early on to follow her wisdom and guidelines, I think you could prevent divorce with this book.

I could not put this book down.As a Christian, I may be talking to a different God than Debbie is, but that didn't slow me down one bit--she has a way with words that cuts through murky, repetetive thoughts and forces you to take responsibility for whatever your situation is in life.II have read a LOT of self help books, but this one says things in a very practical, non-judgmental way.I can now look at my friends going through divorce, point this book out to them and be happy that there is a bright light at the end of their tunnel.And I believed that before, but I didn't know how to help them believe it until I found this book.Many thanks to you, Debbie.

This is a "must read"
This book was recommended to me as I just recnetly ended a 4 1/2 year relationship.At first I thought "why am I reading this book?" I'm happy about my decision and I'm not hateful towards my ex.I stuck with it though and am now very glad I did.I found the contents of this book to be so helpful that I just purchased five more copies to give to people I know.This is a book I want to keep so I can refer to it often.Although it is an "easy read" I would suggest only reading a chapter/section at a time in order to give yourself time to digest the material.This is just simply a "good book" - even if you are not going through a divorce. Truly a "must read" - for anyone. ... Read more

Book Description
"Parents looking for a book about separation or divorce will find few offerings as positive, matter-of-fact, or child-centered as this one. . . . Simple, yet profoundly satisfying. - BOOKLIST (starred review)

At Mommy’s house, Alex has a soft chair. At Daddy’s house, Alex has a rocking chair. In each home, Alex also has a special bedroom and lots of friends to play with. But whether Alex is with Mommy or with Daddy, one thing always stays the same - Alex is loved. The gently reassuring text focuses on what is gained rather than what is lost when parents divorce, while the sensitive illustrations, depicting two unique homes in all their small details, firmly establish Alex’s place in both of them. TWO HOMES will help children - and parents - embrace even the most difficult of changes with an open and optimistic heart. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (31)

yep -- it's a good one
my toddler says this book is "good," a high compliment! it's simple, stays focused on the topic. i think the repetition helps to normalize and reinforce the message that having parents who live in difference homes is okay. also helps me to get into the mindset of my toddler, who's looking for a certain sense of belonging and security.

good book for children whose parents were never married
I've been looking for a book to read to my son about having two families. His father and I were never married, so most of the books don't apply to our situation, because they're about divorced parents. This book speaks nothing about the relationship between the parents. It is purely about the difference in mommy's house and daddy's house. It speaks as if this a natural arrangment, and doesn't suggest sadness or loneliness about the parents not being together. My son is only 18 mths old, but he likes the pictures, and it's a good, simple story-line for when he's old enough to understand. I highly reccommend this book for divorced, or never-married families.

review for two homes
This book was helpful, however, for very young children.Perhaps 3 to 4 year olds.I found it a little young for my 7 year old children.Good illistrations, very, verybasic.

Helped me talk with my preschooler about his "two homes"
This book is written very well.It helped me find a way to talk about my son's two homes - even if he doesn't know how different it might be (he's 2) than others, it may make it more normal - of give him a way to see it from a very positive light.

Has helped my grandkids adjust.
I was looking for a book that would help with the adjustment process as my granddaughter (5)and my grandson (3) are in the midst of the upheaval that comes from this change in households as they spend time with each parent. This book is excellent! My grandson thinks he is the boy in the story, Alex! ... Read more

Book Description
It's never too late to have a good divorce

Based on two decades of groundbreaking research, The Good Divorce presents the surprising finding that in more than fifty percent of divorces couples end their marriages, yet preserve their families. Dr. Ahrons shows couples how they can move beyond the confusing, even terrifying early stages of breakup and learn to deal with the transition from a nuclear to a "binuclear" family--one that spans two households and continues to meet the needs of children.

The Good Divorce makes an important contribution to the ongoing "family values" debate by dispelling the myth that divorce inevitability leaves emotionally troubles children in its wake. It is a powerful tonic for the millions of divorcing and long-divorces parents who are tired of hearing only the damage reports. It will make us change the way we think about divorce and the way we divorce, reconfirming our commitment to children and families. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (17)

This book gave us inspiration...
Relational Shifts: A Family Doesn't Have to End Just Because a Marriage Does

Our family is another proof of this book's positive impact on what could have been a very negative story...we wrote our story, raw and vulnerable and filled with things most people wouldn't share with their therapist or best friends...we share our worst in the hopes that it can help others find their best...somehow, starting with this book, THE GOOD DIVORCE, we found out way to a better family.

We were honored to be Keynote Speakers at an event for the Collaborative Law Institute which is hosting Constance Ahrons as their Continuing Education Lecturer.

Blessings on this woman and all the goodness she has helped others live with integrity for a higher goal...FAMILY!

warmest regards,
jules

www.relationalshifts.com

Should only be used in extreeme situations
My parents read this book as they were considering separating.It convinced them that there was no reason to resolve their differences, and that our family would be somehow stronger.It absolutely gives unhappy people the unfounded expectation that if they can just be friendly with each other, negative effects can be completely avoided.

In the end it made my parents separation all the more painful for me and my adult siblings, because it built an expectation that divorce would be easy on everyone.When it wasn't, the only response was to blame us kids, because they were working really hard at their "good" divorce.

Must Have
This is a must have book for anyone considering a divorce, in the process of divorcing, or even already divorced.There is much practical advice as well as encouragement in this book.I highly recommend it!

Great resource from a Family Counselor's view
I am a Counselor. Rule #1 is "Do not counsel friends and family."
I gave this book to my son and his ex. Thier break up was BEYOND poisonous to my Grandson. I asked them to read it & seek help. Otherwise I was going to seek custody of my Grandson. {It was THAT bad.}
This book, along with a good 3rd party counselor, helped immensely.
It is, in my opinion, good no nonsense advice. It will help open eyes of exactly WHAT you are possibly doing to your children during a divorce.

One of the Most Toxic Books of the Last Two Decades
As a very successful child of a "good divorce," I cannot think of a more destructive book published in the last 15 years.Despite the fact that a divorce is sometimes necessary (in the case of abusive marriages, for example), the phrase "good divorce" is an oxymoron!The ruin--and yes, divorce ruins things even when it may make certain things better--of 50% of families in America is anything but good.

This book is not written with the well-being of children in mind, but rather with the well-being of the parents.The very idea that there is ideally no one to blame in the break-up of a marriage is ludicrous.People today, it seems, have found various other things (success, personal fulfillment, inner peace) that are more valuable than other people.Is it not a scary fact that this book aims at absolving divorcing parents of all guilt?The sad result is that the guilt inevitably falls onto the children, regardless of how many times they are told that it is not their fault.It is simply indicative of our self-centered, individualistic society today that we honestly believe that our spouses can remain such only so long as they are promoting our pure happiness and contentment every waking minute.

To any parents who are entertaining the idea that a divorce in which conflict is minimized is not harmful to children, I must, from personal experience, issue a resounding, "NO, a marriage is the best thing you can give to your children."Some things, my friends, are worth fighting for--and the love of your life trumps them all.

For an excellent yet sensitive counter argument to this book's selfish and guiltless agenda, I would strongly recommend Elizabeth Marquardt's "Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce:"

"Why are children of divorce considered so resilient?Because the adults need them to be that way." ... Read more

Amazon.com
Anger and hurt tend to figure strongly in divorce, hand-in-hand with resentment, sadness, and fear about your future. And more often than not, these emotional woes all coalesce under the banner of money. Nolo Press is known for its thorough research and user-friendly approach to legal matters, and its book on Divorce and Money is up to its usual high standards of quality. "Think financially--act legally," the folks at Nolo say, and they explain how to do so, in detailed and practical terms, for joint accounts and hidden assets, gifts and insurance, alimony and retirement benefits, marital property and the IRS, net worth and what to do about the house. They also discuss where to seek professional help, how to keep proper records and assemble the facts, why the financial issues are so sticky, in what ways you're at risk, and how to reduce the stress and avoid the bad scenes, when possible. A life-saver of a reference book for when you're at your most vulnerable and disorganized, Divorce & Money offers practical and proactive advice to help you protect yourself and safeguard your financial future. --Stephanie GoldBook Description
Everything you need to split assets and debts as fairly as possible.

When you're going through divorce, you have to make an overwhelming numberof financial decisions. Should you sell the house? What happens toretirement benefits? How will you handle taxes?

Full of sensitive and practical advice, Divorce & Money guides you throughthe process of making these important decisions. It covers how to:

Customer Reviews (11)

This book is very slanted towards "Daddy leaving"
I bought this book for my stepchildren when they were about 2 years old.The book comes highly recommended from other users on Amazon, but if you are looking for a book that portrays both parents in an equal light, this is not the book for you.I found this book to be extremely slanted towards portraying an image in which "Daddy leaves." I haven't found it applicable to our situation at all.A better recommendation would be "Two Homes" by Claire Masurel.This book is a favorite of ours and you can expect a fair representation of both parents- emphasis is given to building an environment of love and belonging at two homes. Two Homes

Excellent Excellent Book for toddlers
I bought this book for my two yr old while going through a separation. He says "mom, I sad." I read him this book on the situaiton at hand & it is right to the point & simple for toddlers to understand. Its about a bear family and no matter where daddy is or mama is, they always love you. No matter that there are two houses now, mama & daddy still think about you. AND in no way is this separation the childs fault. Its a MUST read for parents separating with small children. Believe me, they know things are different, they don't know the details, but reading this book will help them understand that everything will be ok among all the chaos in thier lives now. a MUST buy.

Excellent - comforting and realistic
This book provides an excellent way to brooch the subject of divorce with little ones. It is told through the eyes of a little bear, who has a big sister, a Mama and a Daddy. She loves them all and she loves her little rabbit and her red sandles. When she hears about the divorce she is sad, but learns that the people, activities and things she loves are still there, even if they happen in different places now that Daddy has moved out

My children are five, three and zero, and the little bear in this tale seems about three, so it is very appropriate. I am going to make sure I read this story to them lots as Daddy moves out this weekend. Already they seem easier with the idea of separation (even if they don't like it that Daddy's taking the TV!)

This book is very valuable and very comforting to the children. I cannot recommend it too highly

A very helpful tool
This book is perfect for the age group stated (pre-K, K).It doesn't go into details of what divorce is, but rather it acknowledges that something sad and a little scary has happened and that things have changed.It addresses the fears that come along with divorce for little kids: anxiety, abandonment, concern for the parent who is leaving, visitation and continuity.It does a great job of explaining that even though one parent no longer lives with you, they are still your mommy/daddy and will always love you.I also liked that it stressed that even though some things have changed, some things have remained the same; the little girl still gets to sleep with her favorite bunny no matter which house she's at, she can still wear her favorite shoes and she can still do the things she loves to do with each parent.It also briefly covers the fact that sometimes when Daddy was supposed to come pick them up on the weekends he couldn't, but was sure to come see them on a different day (acknowledging that visitation isn't always on a perfect schedule so expect some bumps, but rest assure daddy still loves you and wants to see you).It's a simple book but it gets the message across.I would have liked to have seen the children as a boy and a girl though instead of two girls so it might appeal to little boys and give them someone to identify with that is in their same situation.

Daddy is a deadbeat.
This book would be really wonderful for kids who are going through a divorce where their daddy is a louse.The book portrays the father as a deadbeat who doesn't bother to show up for visitations even though he only has them one night a week.What does this book say that a divorce is?"A divorce meant that Daddy would not live with Mama, Ruth, and Dinah anymore."
I know how impressionable kids are, how is this supposed to be an unbiassed view of divorce?In my mind this book is designed to taint the mind of impressionable children to make them wonder whether their daddy was going to treat them with the same carelessness as Daddy Bear.I would warn fathers who find themselves in a divorce to think carefully before allowing their children to read this book. ... Read more

Book Description

About half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce, and most of these divorces result in unnecessary collateral damage. Now there is a better way.

Customer Reviews (8)

Important info for families reforming through divorce
As a long-time family law practitioner, I believe that the Collaborative approach to divorce and separation offers the best chance for couples to divorce each other without destroying the complex network of family and friends that is a part of every marriage.Pauline Tesler's highly readable book clearly explains Collaborative practice and how it can accomplish the preservation of a peaceful reformation of a family contemplating divorce. This is a must read for anyone, attorney or private party, who has anything to do with divorcePlease read it--if not for yourself, for a friend, a neighbor, a family member.

Divorce Lawyers recomend this book
Many divorce lawyers (including me) are jumping on the band wagon for this much more respectful way to divorce.Pauline Tesler is one of the top trainers in the industry and has a huge following among divorce professionals.This is not a how-to-do-it-yourself book but helps you make more intelligent decisions about how to handle your divorce.

Buy one for yourself and one for your to-be ex spouse.

Excellent Resource
This book was very informative and is an excellent resource for anyone who is interested in the collaborative process.I highly recommend it!

Praise from Isabel Allende
As the matriarch in a very large extended family, where there is much love but conflict may be unavoidable, I read Collaborative Divorce with great interest.I hope my family will not need to use it, but just in case, I bought a copy for each couple around me.Bitter divorces are expensive, painful, they create long-term resentment, and make it difficult to raise healthy children.The damaging effects of failed or thwarted love can and should be avoided. That is the point of this book.According to the authors, when there is a commitment to integrity, ethical
behavior, clear communications, and constructive problem-solving, a divorce should be a solution and not a cause for more entrenched conflict.CollaborativeDivorce shows there are smarter and kinder ways for a couple to part.
ISABEL ALLENDE

Must Read for Divorce
The authors have succeeded in creating an easily accessible and remarkably complete guide to thinking about and managing this difficult process.The combination of legal and emotional insight will resonate strongly with anyone who has participated in divorce and goes on to skillfully guide the reader through the alternative.Clearly there is a better way and this work hits on all the different aspects, how to approach them and the high value of avoiding the legal process.This is a must read for anyone contemplating divorce.The outcome will be a dramatically better experience, better settlement and an easier path to the rest of one's life.Top rating. ... Read more

Book Description
Nationally recognized expert Robert Emery applies his twenty-five years of experience as a researcher, therapist, and mediator to offer parents a new road map to divorce. Dr. Emery shows how our powerful emotions and the way we handle them shape how we divorce—and whether our children suffer or thrive in the long run. His message is hopeful, yet realistic—divorce is invariably painful, but parents can help promote their children’s resilience. With compassion and authority, Dr. Emery explains: • Why it is so hard to really make divorce work
• How anger and fighting can keep people from really separating
• Why legal matters should be one of the last tasks
• Why parental love—and limit setting—can be the best “therapy” for kids
• How to talk to children, create workable parenting schedules, and more

“Finally, an internationally respected scholar tells parents the absolute truth about divorce and its effect on children.”
—John Gottman, PhD, author of The Heart of Parenting: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child ... Read more

Customer Reviews (11)

Great
I would recommend this book for anyone that is even thinking of getting a separation or divorce.Some of it seems like common sense, but when you are going through the trials of a divorce or separation, common sense can go out the window.

Still working through this one
I needed some words to use to tell my teen-aged daughter and pre-teen son about our divorce.Dr. Emery wrote it is important to tell children in this age who initiated the divorce, and I used a his words, almost to the letter.So far, that has backfired with my daughter, who is very, very angry with me.I still believe the book will be a good reference, but I am ambivalent about taking his advice quite so literally.

how to find your way through divorce
This is a somewhat positive outlook on divorce through the eyes of a professional who considers the children first.He offers practical, helpful advice for setting up things like visition based on the particular aspects of a divorce.

Counselor
I used this book and several others in a talk given to grandparents of children who are coping with "Divorce".This book was helpful not only in helping the children, but, it was helpful to the parents and grandparents.

Wish I Had Bought Two
If you are contemplating a divorce or in divorce proceedings or even divorced and if you care for your children, read this book.Not only did Dr. Emery open my eyes to what my children have esperienced and will experince from divorce but also what both their parents are experiencing.Dr. Emery's insights are both personal and clinical and his guidance always puts the children first. This book is written in a veryclear and straight forward style. You won't get lost in complicated psycological explanations or depressed from a gloomy outlook for yourchildren like many of the other books on this subject.Buy two! One for each parent. ... Read more

Book Description

A complete guide to financial self-defense for people facing divorce

Customer Reviews (1)

Detailed!!
Helps you to understand the complexity of marital debt/assets.In doing post-divorce mediation, the aftermath is worse than the initial filing of the divorce petition.Here we have two consenting adults reigning over the financial thrones of the other.Leaving their financial future in the hands of someone bitter will only gain negative results.What makes one think the court order will enforce resolution? The other party may not feel the urge to pay out of malice.This can lead to foreclosures, collection calls, garnishments, jdgements/liens, (ALL in YOUR name!!!) and frustration.

Being obligated on debt/assets and assuming resolution is anarrow-minded field of scope.This book describes the wide range of capacity in which you should consult with your attorney to ensure fair equitable distribution and negotiation.A mediator is usually sought out or court-ordered for disputes such as this.

Support issues such as commingled funds, both spouses' rights to pensions and social security, equitable business, equitable mortgage , child support, spousal support, and other dividends are dissertated in this book.

This book has so much information in it that is very useful to me as a practitioner.Divorcing couples need to get this for the outcome of what is to be.

... Read more

Book Description
There’s no such thing as an easy divorce. But knowing what to expect and being prepared to cope with the emotional, legal, and financial complications of a divorce certainly lessen the pain.Divorce For Dummies, Second Edition helps you minimize the stress and strain of divorce by cutting legal costs and knowing everything you should ask your attorney and expect your attorney to ask you. This reassuring guide covers everything you need to know about divorce, including:

• Preparing financially for your divorce
• Putting your divorce in motion
• Telling your kids
• Division of assets and spousal support
• Child custody and support
• Hiring and working with an attorney
• Negotiating on your own behalf
• New laws covering common law marriages, homosexual partnerships, and parents

Complete with a directory of divorce Web sites and tips on how to move on, this is the resource you need to survive your divorce and thrive in your new life. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (5)

Divorce for Dummies
I found this book very interesting.I am not divorced nor married, but the book provides a wealth of information to know before entering into marriage.Protecting oneself is key and I feel Divorce for Dummies opened my eyes to what I did not realize.

Covers Many Topics
This book hit on many topics and is a good reference book to use throughout the various stages of your divorce. Touches on a wide variety of things and generally answers some questions you might have. Some advice in this book I did not see in other divorce books such as what to do about debt in both of your names. Outlines what to do about credit card debt in both names as well as mortgage debt in both names. Mortgage debt is harder to get out of your name even if your spouse is awarded the asset. You are both still liable for mortgage debt until it is paid off or refinanced. Even if your divorce decree says that your former spouse is responsible for paying it. Book tells you how to communicate with credit card companies in regard to protecting your credit.
This book is worth reading because you will probably learn at least a few things you did not previously know.

thorough, reliable
Divorce for Dummies is a thorough overview of the divorce process and ways to make it easier and less expensive. I know the authors from interviewing them for my Internet radio show, [...] and other articles, and I know they are very careful in the resources and information they present. I also believe they really do have the consumer's best interest at heart.

As a consumer educator myself, I know some of the information -- especially related to finances -- is crucial. I've talked with so many people over the years who have been burned because they thought everything was taken care of with the divorce decree. Unfortunately, that's not the final word on how things will work out! That is especially true with regard to credit. If you have joint accounts PLEASE read their warnings or you may likely get stuck with your ex's bad credit for years.

Even if you have a great divorce attorney, he or she won't have time to cover all the topics in this book with you, so I recommend it to make sure you're well-informed. One more caveat -- make sure you get the 2nd edition of this book, which is the most recent!

OK for general information, not for individual states
I prefer books that are state specific such as Texas Family Law Guide, Louisiana Family Law Guide, etc.

Good overview
Overall this book covers a lot of important topics with regards to the whole divorce process with good explanations and definitions. While some areas could have gone into more detail and perhaps provided some worksheets or step by steps guides, I don't think any (critical) issues were left out. While some other books I've seen stated the obvious and left you thinking "well duh"...this book had good information throughout. ... Read more

Book Description

Divorce and remarriage are major pastoral issues facing every church. Yet when we turn to Scripture for guidance, we often hear conflicting messages about its teachings. Some say divorce is never allowed. Others say it is permitted under certain circumstances. Some say remarriage is never allowed, while others teach that it is permitted under certain circumstances. If divorce is only allowed for adultery and if remarriage is forbidden, then many believers are placed in a desperate situation. But what does the Bible really teach?

Making use of new research into the background literature of the Bible, David Instone-Brewer shows that biblical teaching is actually consistent and not subject to conflicting interpretations. A consistent and informed interpretation of the relevant texts shows that the original hearers of these teachings would understand that:

• Jesus and Paul emphasized that divorce should be avoided if at all possible.
• First-century Jewish men and women could get divorced for neglect or abuse as well as for adultery. Jesus did not reject these grounds and Paul specifically affirmed them.
• In the first century, remarriage was the right of every divorcee, and neither Jesus nor Paul taught otherwise.

David Instone-Brewer shows how, when properly understood, the New Testament provides faithful, realistic and wise guidance of crucial importance and practical help for the church today.

Customer Reviews (7)

Christians and Divorce
This was an excellent book on the title topic.One of the problems I see facing the church today is so many divorces.Historically there have been two views about divorce among Christians: 1. No divorce whatever (which is flatly wrong biblically) and 2. Divorce only for sexual immorality.I have always wondered why God would force someone to stay married to an abusive spouse, and now the answer is made plain by the author of this book.His scholarly research and objective analysis proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that God has always permitted divorce from an abusive spouse.I highly recommend this book to Pastors, Biblical Counselors and anyone else dealing with marriage and divorce problems in the Church.

Helpful, Readable, Belongs Among Your Resources

This month's cover story in "Christianity Today" highlights the growing Christian (and especially evangelical) engagement with questions relating to divorce and remarriage. The attention may be long overdue: western culture precedes us in this same awareness.

'Divorce and Remarriage' is a helpful volume that analyzes Scriptural evidence for different points of view. When is divorce 'justified'? When is remarriage Biblical? Answers are thorough and exegetical.

Another great recent resource in this field was recommended in the same issue of "Christianity Today" (October, 2007). It is called "Happily Remarried" and I'll put a link here:

Happily Remarried: *Making Decisions Together *Blending Families Successfully* Building a Love That Will Last

Both of these books help pastors, counselors, divorce-recovery leaders and others understand the spiritual and emotional dynamics of the post-divorce family structure. Both of these books can help you make sense of the options and choices confronting today's adults.

Irresponsible and Deceitful
Jesus said that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.David Instone-Brewer explains to us what Jesus really meant by that.Not really.Instone-Brewer takes Biblical texts out of contexts and twists and spins scripture to make it appear that the Bible supports his pre-drawn conclusion.

Best book on the subject
This is the best book I have read on this subject. Instone-Brewer balances respect for the authority of the Bible, good historical background and scholarship with pastoral compassion. His arguments are consistent, logical, and biblical. Basically, he says that while the Bible discourages divorce, it is practical in allowing divorce and remarriage under certain grounds.

Excellent Book...
This book is an excellent book to get for those who find they don't have the time to read Dr. Instone-Brewer's much longer scholarly version of his well-researched conclusions, "Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible: The Social and Literary Context."

The book is excellent because it is user-friendly in it's organisation, and makes for a quick reference guide as well as a book to read straight through (which the author recommends doing, to get the whole idea across). The author's basic conclusions are that there any repeated, unrepented for breaks in the marriage vows become grounds for divorce by the innocent party, should they choose it. The innocent is then free to remarry, and so is the 'guilty' if reconciliation is no longer possible. Instone-Brewer argues well against the idea of indissoluable union, and shows that marriage is a sacred contract, that CAN be dissolved, even though it ought not to be (Matthew 19:6).

I have found Dr. Instone-Brewer's work to be the best in this complex issue, out of all of the books/articles/position papers and emails which I've read while researching this issue. He truly has a heart which seeks to understand, and is very happy to interact personally with people about their questions. To date, he has sent me two rather lengthly answers to questions I've personally had.

I very much recommend this book to anyone struggling with this issue, or who simply wants to have a greater grasp on it.

... Read more

Book Description

From your first thought of divorce through the final paperwork, Your Divorce Advisor takes you step by step toward a divorce that dissolves the marriage but not your dignity, your sense of family, or your financial security. Whether you hire a lawyer or a mediator, or do it yourself, this practical, direct, and empowering guide offers you the wise counsel you need for both the legal and the emotional processes of ending your marriage.

Your Divorce Advisor shows you how to:

• Keep a healthy perspective that leads to a successful legal strategy and recognize when emotions threaten your case

• Protect your assets without destroying your family

Offering:

• Detailed coverage of all your legal options and guidance through every legal step, including anticipating the emotional repercussions of your decisions

• More information on custody than any other divorce book, including age-appropriate custody schedules

• A sample divorce agreement explained one paragraph at a time

Your Divorce Advisor helps you set yourself and your

family on a positive course toward a new life.

Download Description
This is the first book to focus on the concerns, fears, and futures of everyone involved in a divorce. With vital legal information and sound psychological advice, it takes readers chronologically through the divorce process and explains how to manage every step without losing emotional control, traumatizing young children, or jeopardizing the goal of reaching an agreement that will stand the test of time.Written by a matrimonial attorney and a clinical psychologist who specializes in family counseling, and featuring sidebars and highlighted sections for easy reference, Your Divorce Advisor covers all the legal and psychological aspects of divorce, including: -- Understanding your legal options and starting the legal process-- Preparing your family for what's ahead-- Negotiating with your spouse without hurting yourself or your children-- Preparing for a trial-- Dealing with the inevitable emotional conflicts among family membersDivorce is a complex, stressful, and life-changing experience for both adults and children. Your Divorce Advisor will reduce the anger and pain 1.4 million American families face each year and set them on a path to a positive future. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (16)

One Stop Resource
This is the single best, most complete divorce book on the market.It took me from start to finish and saved me from making some expensive mistakes.Because there's a psychologist who's writing, too, and not just a lawyer, the book tuned me in to some things I hadn't thought about, like how my kids feel if I say something bad about my wife in front of them, or why it's hard to get my financial records together (because it symbolizes that my marriage is actually really over).All in all, this was a super helpful book and a bargain.

Knowledgeable author
I know the author of this book and she is an expert.If you are contemplating a divorce or going through one, definitely get this book.It's written for you.

Practical divorce advice
Interesting book coming from both the perspective of the divorce lawyer and a psychologist. Some good, solid advice here. While going through a divorce you should gather as much information as possible and know how to protect yourself both emotionally and financially.

Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce

Important book, along with...
Divorce is one of the most grueling experiences anyone can go through, and this book is a great guide for easing the challenges.The book is packed with information on the legal and emotional issues that are likely to arise -- and how to deal with them.The topics span the board, from making the initial decision, to preparing for trial, to how to talk with the kids about it all.

THe authors have a section on negotiating with your spouse, and I think that that is essential.They mention the work of Harvard's Roger Fisher, who just published a new book that you don't want to miss if you're dealing with divorce.The book is 'Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as you Negotiate.'(The chapters on autonomy and appreciation struck a chord with me and offered great advice.)

Very Informative, but deceptively biased
After reading many, many studies on the subject of divorce, support and custody, and also personally being a single father for 13 years with sole custody of 3 children and also being a non-custodial parent of one younger child I feel I can comment objectively on this book.

First off, it is clearly very well written, covers almost all aspects of its subject and uniquely combines views from an emotional point of view as well as legal point of view. It also strives to be unbiased and provide clear representation of both parents. I do recommend this book but do so with one caveat (hence my rating of 3 stars rather than 5).

The book is riddled with hidden biases in favor of Mom rather than Dad and the reader should be cognizant of that. Also, it is not clear that all aspects of studies are clearly represented. i.e., both sides. The tricky thing is that both sides are mentioned but even when there is a preponderance of studies favoring one side, it seems the authors may lean towards the other side. A fairer presentation of studies supporting both sides would be really beneficial (particularly on child custody, visitation, overnights, bonding, etc.). Many of the studies are represented in summary form and as such remove a lot of important context.

A good example of a hidden bias:

"The Paradox requires that parents take into careful consideration how well their children are able to tolerate separation from their mother, the child's temperament, and the strength of the father-child bond prior to divorce, and weigh all this against the likelihood of the father staying in the child's life...." Page 203 - determining custody arrangements.

This seems like a very objective statement but upon closer examination it is clear that the authors are concerned with whether the child(ren) can tolerate separation from mom but never question whether or not the child(ren) can handle the separation from dad or what that impact might be. In addition, it questions the father-child bond but never suggestions that the mother-child bond should be evaluated as well in such a determination. The phrase ends with us weighing all of this against whether or not it is likely that dad will stay in the picture - again, what about mom. Studies are increasingly showing that even when mom has full custody of her children she can be less than a model parent for a variety of reasons.

Here's another:

"The amount of time between father and child is important because it facilitates a closer parent child relationship. But time does not automatically equal closeness. The quality of time spent and the level of involvement .... are ... more important." Also Page 203 - determining custody arrangements.

Again - sounds objective enough but actually why is this represented only in terms of dad. Isn't this statement true for moms as well? Phrased as written there is an assumption that mother time does equal closeness and that it is automatically quality otherwise why point this out only for fathers during a discussion on custody which should be gender neutral. If the term was written with parent in place of father then it would be truly objective. As written it supports the notion that moms are custodial parents and dads are visitors - and not to worry about the amount of time dads spend - but worry about the quality of time they spend. So to be fair, don't worry about the time mom spends with the children, just the quality of time she spends - thereby freeing up large amounts of time for dad and children.

These are only 2 examples but please read this book with caution, such biases are sprinkled all through out the book (perhaps because the authors are both moms) and amongst a backdrop of authority, general objectivity and mastery of the subject matter which makes them all the more dangerous.
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Book Description
When an adult child's marriage ends, lots of folks are hurt. The divorcing couple, of course, and their children. Until now, however, little attention has been paid to the parents of the divorcees. Temlock's examination of this sensitive topic offers parents a friendly guidebook packed with helpful information and suggestions from parents who've "been there." Her five-stage model of the divorce process for parents (Accepting the News... Rescuing Your Child... Responding to Changes... Stabilizing the Family... Refocusing and Rebuilding) will help readers to stay grounded through the emotional upheavals they'll share with their children and grandchildren. This practical manual puts an arm around the shoulder of parents of divorcing adults and supports them through the difficult days of the divorce process and its aftermath. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (7)

Surviving Your Child's Divorce
The author, Marsha Temlock, was inspired to write this book based on personal experience. I read an article in the New York Times ("My Child's Divorce Is My Pain" September 2, 2007, also in Boston Globe) telling her story and felt I had to read this book. As divorce becomes more common and parents live longer, they are more and more involved in the breakup of their children's marriage. This is a difficult adjustment for parents who feel caught in the middle between their own need to grieve/adjust and the need to help their child. The parents find themselves mediating between the separated spouses like the author did when her son and his wife went through a divorce (in the article she said she felt "like a 'switchboard operator', letting their divorce monopolize her life.") Also difficult emotions overwhelm the parent, like the plaguing "guilt and self-flagellation" that occur when a parent sees their child's marriage suffering. But luckily, this book is full of answers and insights, from someone who has already been through this process. We can learn from the author's experiences and not make matters worse by "trying to fix or rescue the marriage or wallowing in guilt or pain." Instead this book focuses on how you can help your child and your grandchildren cope. The five stage model (Accepting the News... Rescuing Your Child... Responding to Changes... Stabilizing the Family... Refocusing and Rebuilding) is just what the doctor called for when it comes to helping your family make the best of this situation. As unfortunate as a divorce is, how you deal with it can bring your family closer (or not). This book is user-friendly, accessible, clearly written, and compassionate. I highly recommend it for any parent in this situation.

A Helpful Resource
Your Child's Divorce helps parents stay grounded through the emotional upheavals they will undergo during and after their child's divorce.Temlock's book essentially provides a five stage model of the divorce process:1) Accepting the News, 2) Rescuing your Child, 3) Responding to Changes, 4) Stabilizing the Family, and 5) Refocusing and Rebuilding.In her heartfelt introduction, Temlock reassures parents that they can help keep the family together even in the midst of divorce; parents can strengthen their relationship with their child during and after a divorce;parents can be instruments of family renewal and regeneration; parents can and must be role models for their children and grandchildren; and parents can hasten their own recovery as they make this journey with their divorcing child.The book is a great resource.

No stone left unturned
Author Marsha Temlock does an excellent job putting an arm around parents (and grandparents) of couples who are divorcing. When I read the book, I couldn't help but think of what I put my own parents through 25 years ago (they were my current age then) when I called to say, "Mom, Dad, we're getting divorced." OUCH! Broken relationships are painful, and it's extra hard when you have to be supportive and helpful when you're hurting and fearful, too. Marsha offers great insight, a plethora of primary source interviews, thorough research, and some good old-fashioned common sense (which is something that often flies out the window when a crisis hits.)
This book is worth twice the price.

A missing topic until now
I am thankfully not in this position, but have friends who are and I bought it for them.I think it really helped them and there were no other resources that really addressed how can the parents of the divorcing adults handle the situation.Thanks Mrs. Temlock.. a very helpful book for my friends.

Rescusing the Lost
Finally, a book that truly addresses the needs of parents of divorcing children.How parents react can be critical to a resolutiion that is fair to all.Temlock provides an invaluable guide for parents, who are often over looked in divorces of their children, providing them with guidelines and tools in order to be of help to all concerned. ... Read more