Customer Reviews (21)

Best I've Read
I just finished a nine month stint in alcohol recovery. I entered voluntarily, which I'm glad for, but of course I was in the company of many who had been forced by the legal system into the same treatment. As is pretty much always the case, when you get a DUI or some other form of alcohol- or drug-related charge, the legal system thinks your "best" choice is treatment.

So I've been there. And I did the required reading and the required AA meetings. (In fact I'm the secretary of my home AA meeting.) I read "Under the Influence" by Milam and Ketchum. That book of course is reviewed here on Amazon.com, lauded for its brilliance and comprehensiveness, and its followers no doubt enjoy Milam's pokes at the members of the establishment who reject his Disease Model.

I have been saying "I'm and alcoholic" for ten months now. My wife would tell you unequivocally that, sadly, her husband is an alcoholic, but the good thing is he has a disease, so the prognosis can be good. The odd part of this is that I only drank on weekends. I have never heard of a disease that afflicts its host every Friday and goes into remission the following Sunday.

So "The Truth About Addiction" was like a long needed breath of fresh air. Finally, here was a guy saying the kind of things that I had been feeling for months. Interestingly, in the same manner that alcoholics who find for the first time they have a disease are relieved to realize they aren't moral degenerates, I was relieved to realize that I was not the only one who thinks Milam is full of crap.

I'm mixed on the effectiveness of the Twelve-Step model. There are definitely benefits. I personally believe that the greatest benefit of AA is "the fellowship." You get a bunch of people together talking about their problems and supporting each other, invariably good things are going to happen.

And, in fact, despite Peele's assertions that AA doesn't work, he does make a point to say point blank: If AA works for you, then that's good, do what you need to do. His point is NOT that people should not adopt the Twelve Step model -- it's that the Twelve Step model has been shown to be ineffective and we need to consider alternatives.

Sober thinking about addiction
I will be celebrating my first year of sobriety in a few weeks; an achievement that took nearly five years of effort to realize.I really wish that I had come across this book a lot earlier in the process.If I had would it have shortened a long and arduous journey? Did the assumption that A.A. was the only answer prolong a miserable period in my life?

I have read criticisms of A.A. in the past, most long in judgmentshort in content, that is NOT the case with this book. The author's purpose is not to attack A.A. but to present the reader with all the available facts concerning addiction and recovery, however the facts do contradict the tenets of A.A. and commonly held beliefs thereof.From the very first chapter of this book you are presented with supportable facts and reasonable conclusions about the nature of addiction. The simple yet profound thesis of this book calls the disease model of addiction into question and more importantly makes the reader aware of why the distinction between disease and behavior is a crucial one.

I scarcely cared if I had a disease or not, I just wanted to quit wrecking my life; I was ready to believe anything.... so I earnestly began the suggested steps (the steps are much like insulin to a diabetes patient I was taught, without them I would surely die) but had only limited success and no spiritual awakening.It became clear to me after several years that I had to get ME sober, no one else or nothing else was going to do it for me, only then did I begin to succeed.What, you may ask, does this have to do with the merits of the disease model?I didn't know either until I read this book.Through a long process of trial and error I stoppedblaming faulty genes or damned fate for my problems, and by necessity trusted, developed, and built confidence in my own intuitions and problem solving skills.In short I was learning to change a self destructivehabit, nothing more nothing less.A substance that once eased social anxiety became the remedy of all occasion, and one by one it replaced any natural coping skills that I already had. I am learning them again.

Did A.A. retard my progress?Absolutely not, it was haven to me when I had nowhere else to turn and I remain grateful; but they do a disservice to their members when they stifle curiosity and deny individual accomplishment. I am just delighted to have found a book that reflects and validates my values as they are, and allows me the credit for my own success.

A must read for ALL "counselors" in the "addiction treatment industry"
I purchased this title last year (2006), and found it an excellent source of information, and research. I wish it had a more current edition, with more current statistics, as i think it would be an excellent textbook for people taking academic classes in the "addiction/recovery/AOD" certification field. This book, along with Dr. Peele's other titles should be REQUIRED READING, for anyone entering, and wishing to be certified or licensed as a "AOD Counselor", or other "treatment" specialist.

The best self help book you will ever read.
This author really helped me. He taught me that it did not have to be black and white; it did not have to be all or nothing.I did not have to dive to the depths of hell before I could "recover".I could work on myself now.I could improve myself from where I stood.I did not have to deny everything I had done before, and everyone I had met before.I could simply mature into a better person.Since reading this author, I have not been in trouble with the law; I have moved forward in my career; and, I think, I have been useful to many people.Although I am not perfect, I still grow.I would recommend this author to every person who would like to better themselves without absconding all that came before.I would also recommend that friends and family give this book to those that they would like to see never "hit bottom".

Not definitive, but offers yet another defensible perspective among many in the field
The review titled "Disturbing" was spot-on.

For some, Steele's prescriptions are effective; for others, they provide the rationale for further deterioration.Among those I know with substantial recovery time, there is this constant:They tried everything before finding what worked best, which for some involves the 12 steps and for others actually rejecting them.Zealotous defendents of any one program tend to regard the trial-and-error process as avoidable and its painful lessons unecessary; increasingly, I view it as part of the larger recovery process.A common misperception of AA is that its members endorse a strict interpretation of the 12 steps and do not tolerate different and in some cases conflicting interpretations of them.That has not been my experience in AA.For those who command any therapeutic authority in the field to promote an inflexibly uniform approach to recovery before researchers achieve a far more scientific and comprehensive understanding of human psychology is reckless and ignorant of the subtleties and complexity of the problem at hand. ... Read more

Book Description
Evaluate medications and treatment programs

Break free from addictive substances or behaviors and get a fresh start

Think you have an addiction? This compassionate guide helps you identify the problem and work towards a healthy, realistic approach to recovery, explaining the latest clinical and self-help treatments for both adults and teens. This book also offers tips on reducing cravings, handling your relationships, and staying well for the long run.

Discover how to

• Identify the reasons for addiction
• Choose the best treatment plan
• Handle slips and relapses
• Detect addictions in a loved one
• Find help and support

Customer Reviews (7)

Recovery Programs "Lite"
Save your money and don't buy this book.An hour watching Opra will provide more information than you'll ever find on the pages of this lightweight text.There are far better books available for people looking to overcome their addiction, as well as loved ones seeking a better understanding of addictions.

No Axe To Grind
Clear readable practical education and guidance on dealing with your or your loved one's addiction.Covers all the most important treatment approaches without moralizing and helps you choose what is most helpful or appropriate to your situation. I have already recommended to two patients who both found it tremendously helpful.

Forget the title-This is a really smart book!
The title of this series always turns me off--so formulaic and usually simplistic. But this book is different! The format is simple and the material is presented in the clear, crisp and easily readable style typical of this series but this book is also truly wise, practical and compassionate in its approach. There is up-to-date information on medications, the physiology of addiction, treatments and groups that can offer support to the addicted person and plenty of practical advice for those on the sidelines (family, friends, spouses) who want to help but don't understand the problem. The book makes practical suggestions for treatments/groups that can help, how to deal with relapse cravings and moving forward in life without relying on an ultimately self-destructive habit. I have 30 years of experience as a therapist and this is one of the few selp-help books that I respect. I plan to give it to my clients and to recommend it to colleagues. Buy it---you won't be disappointed!

The best book I've read on addiction--really helpful!
I can't recommend this book too highly. I have been working in this field for years and have searched for a book that would not turn off people struggling to come to terms with addictive problems. This book is easy to read, concise and presented in a manner that invites the reader to stay with the material. In addition to giving great information on the biology of addiction, it is full of excellent suggestions on how to practically go about attacking the problem. And it is optomistic! So important when someone feels overwhelmed by the problem and has struggled, often unsuccessfully, to change behaviors that are self-defeating. I would also advise relatives and friends of addictive persons to use this book to help them cope better with this issue and to find hope.

A great "user-friendly" book!
I've been waiting years for this book! As a physician I see many patients with addiction problems, yet I've never had a truly "user-friendly" book to recommend to the average reader. Now I do! This book is easy to read, it's concise, and it covers virtually all the important addiction topics in its well organized 20 chapters. The topics are covered in a sensitive, heart-felt manner while delivering critical information. It is obvious that Shaw, Ritvo, and Irvine know their topic and have empathy for clients and friends plagued by addictions. If you want to feel respected by the authors of the book you read, this is a good book. Even if you're struggling with an addiction, yourself, I can't imagine feeling 'talked down'. As they say, addiction can happen to anyone - no matter how strong or strong-minded.

... Read more

Book Description
The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure contains the incredible three-step program to total recovery that is the basis of the miraculous success of the Passages Addiction Cure Center in Malibu, California, the world's most successful substance abuse treatment center. While traditional treatments have a relapse rate as high as 80% or 90%, the world-famous Passages has a cure rate of 84.4%. This revolutionary book shows how you or a loved one can follow the same successful program used at Passages with the help of health professionals right where you live. You'll learn the three steps to permanent sobriety, the four causes of dependency, and how to create your own personalized treatment program—one that gets to the real, underlying causes of dependency. The book also shows how your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs are key factors in your recovery and how you can stimulate your body's self-healing potential to be forever free of dependency.The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure will show you how to end relapse, end your craving, and end your suffering. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (23)

The "Lower Power" at work
It never ceases to amaze me how cunning, baffling and powerful the "lower power" is.This country wants "drive thru" sanity.The only way Chris's book is going to keep you from drinking is to stuff it in your mouth.It not that people have forgotten what it is like to work hard for something, just look at all the Mercedes, Mansions and Millionaires. They are all working, drinking and drugging hard in a vien attempt to fill a God (insert God preference here) sized hole.Never at a time in our country has there been such gross materialism.

12 step programs are wonderful and they are free.If you keep going out there and beating yourself up with booze, drugs, high mortgages, gambling whatever, I'm glad.Because eventually you will scream out "God Please Help Me!"and It will be there to lift you up.

My message is simple.If you can't help an alcoholic for free, then mind your business, your heart is in the wrong place.

Book Review
This is a fantastic book for addicts as well as people whose lives are affected by living around/with an addict.I believe this is the answer. If someone really wants to quit, this is the way to do it.

Keeping an open mind is important.
I am a psychologist and a not-for-profit substance abuse treatment clinic.The clinic policy is based on 100% abstinence, the disease model, and loosely around AA core values.I treat a great deal of mandated patients and others who assert they have no problem, yet they are in my room for some "issue" involving alcohol or drugs.I have learned never to dismiss any new slant or approach to anything in science until I know it is not valid, and even then it has value.When it come to issues of maladaptive behavior, organic roots or not, the approaches to remedies will very likely be as varied and numerous as there are personalities.The possible permutations for "causes" of behaviors are near infinite.What works for one person does not necessarily work for another.The wide range of reaction to this book has given me reason enought to buy it.When I finish it I will certainly post my reaction.

Now that's an intelligent approach to addictions...
Truth when understood cannot be denied...this therapeutic approach is comprehensive & effective in that it addresses the heart of addictive issues as opposed to a cure for the symptom(s). Anyone of us who are not living life to the fullest might check the closet for unaddressed addictive behavior (I've a few of my own.)Ahhhhhhh that this love cure could be bottled and prescribed. Addiction is a route we choose for various reasons in order to cope.... yet are oft unaware of why we made this (these) choice(s), nor of the ultimate price of these choices.

To acknowledge the choice(s), sincerely repent , identify the root and discover higher ground in the process is nothing less than love in motion. The painful road of thispath less chosen is cushioned with gems of equal or greater opportunity. Gratefully, the path for Pax and the choices he made were well seasoned with an intrinsic love and purpose.May others discover the love that resides in each Spirit and brings us to our true purpose.

I've a niece, not yet 16, who has walked this rocky road for years. The financial well is tapped and the symptoms persist.I've sent this material to her mother and am hoping that the message might somehow unveil a light that shines, the true beauty of this young woman.

There is Hope
Very well written and encouraging. Gives us HOPE -Hope for the addict, hope for the family members. I finally feel there is a light shining at the end of the tunnel.We have implemented two of the recommendations for two weeks now, and I see improvement - baby steps nevertheless, but improvement.Wish we could afford "Passages" but we can't, so we are trying Chris Prentiss' theory to get to the "why" issues.I couldn't put the book down.It arrived on Friday and I stayed up til 2 am reading. ... Read more

Product Description
This book carefully walks someone struggling with porngraphy through the steps to recovery. This book begins with how pornography becomes a problem in the mind and how it becomes addictive. Then it teaches the reader how to rewrite the patterns in the mind. It closes with the key steps of recovery. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (8)

A narrow view of addiction to pornography, with a moral overlay.
This book is important because pornography addiction still doesn't get the attention it deserves. For many people it is a real and serious problem. But I'm not convinced that Skinner adds much new to the discussion.

He does offer a powerful model for how to approach addictions in general, but not much nuance about the specific issues around pornography. Where the psychology of pornography addiction is touched on, it tends to be simplistic--about unsatisfying human relationships with others and so on. And there is a false presumption that once a teenage boy gets a look at a lingerie catalog that there will be an inexorable decline into depravity. People are actually more complex than that.

But my biggest issue with the book is the somewhat moralistic tone. There is not an acknowledgement of an appropriate role for erotica or sexual fantasy in a person's life. Sexual fantasy itself seems to be on trial, from a moralist's vantage point. One of the criticisms of pornography is that it erodes the spiritual life. Although that perspective could be important for many people, some will find that less relevant or even an obstacle. Another common problem caused by pornography addiction is the shame that usually accompanies it. But this book does nothing to address the negative attitudes about healthy sexuality that fuel that shame. In fact it could indirectly support those negative attitudes.

Maybe I'm asking for the equivalent of beer ads at the Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. But I think that sexual compulsions have to be understood in the context of what would be healthy sexuality.

If a moral/spiritual approach could work for you, or if you can sidestep that aspect of the book, this could be a useful roadmap.

Freedom
This book was life changing for me.It showed me the origin of my issue and then it outlined the cycle that occurs when I am feeling driven to internet porn.It then gave me the tools to understand how to stop the compulsive behavior that lends itself to the escape.This is really a handbook as much as anything. You can go back to the book on a continuous basis until you have developed the skills to control your behavior.This book works.

A Practical, Working Guide to Breaking the Chain of Addiction
I highly recommend this book to counselors or individuals seeking practical methods of dealing with pornography addiction.Dr. Skinner's does a great job of describing the drivers and nature of the problem and his approach outlines doable steps toward recovery.It is the best book on the subject I have seen. We are now recommending it to individuals in our counseling practice with good success.

Simple and Effective Advice
I read this book in one evening.Being the wife of an addict, I have read many books on this topic looking for some sort of sanity. This book has simple advice and tools that are easy to apply for anybody willing to take that next step.

The tools to help me progress in life
Dr. Skinner wrote the keys to overcoming pornography addiction and very helpful exercises to self-evaluate your addiction status.If you do the things asked in this book you will find yourself looking back at memories in your life that have effected you but you did not realize it.It helped me find key insights on why I was drawn to pornography, that it was a synthetic negative replacement of what I was really looking for and that I would be far happier in life pursuing other fulfilling endeavorer. ... Read more

Book Description
Sustained abstinence from an addiction is only the first stage of recovery; real recovery begins with Stage II--the rebuilding of the life that was saved in Stage I. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (3)

Healthy and reasonable directions for recovery
I think this review was well thought out and careful to guide the recovering person to higher goals toward truth and happiness. I love the natural ability the author shows to point toward rigourous change without a demanding tone.Instead, Earnie Larson uses terrific examples to show, first hand, what illusions we (in the recovery community) can be susceptible to and how to find our way out of them.

I appreciate the vision and respect this book gives to our progression.But, the only trouble one may have is the book may be too idealistic without delving deeper into how our destructive habits (and issues of that nature) developed; a book like that would be much, much thicker.With the shame a person might finds themselves in, to say "stop doing that (being negative toward yourself)" doesn't cut it.Only a few times, this book may leave us short of that notion that a miracle (by God) is needed to break a negative cycle (that Spiritual means is the way out).

Be happy in Recovery
This book was not critical in my efforts to get sober, however with out it I could never have become as happy as I am today.I suggest that all people in recovery read it.This book first opened my eyes to the possibility that I could define recovery for myself, I did not have to rely on someone else's definition.I aimed for the sky, after being miserable most of my life I defined recovery as waking up happy every morning.Now I Do!This was just a beginning I continue to use this idea to change my life.

This has been one of my most important recovery tools.
Stage II Recovery has guided me through the past eight years of myrecovery.It was very important for me to be able to understand and definerecovery and my particular goals.Each year, on my anniversary, I re-readthis book and come up with ONE THING to work on during the year.I use thebook as a way to review my progress and to keep me on line with my recoverygoals.I have found that this simple, easy to read book has provided mewith the guidance I need to not only maintain my sobriety but to learn toexperience a full life worth living. ... Read more

Book Description
A recovery model for use in conjunction with 12-stepprograms or on its own. Dusty Miller's treatment model for addiction and self-injury, outlined in the best-selling Women Who Hurt Themselves, has been expanded in this new work to include the physical and spiritual impact of trauma. This how-to manual introduces new ways of thinking about self-care, self-soothing, and self-expression. ... Read more

Book Description
Hope and Healing for Children Hurt by Addiction in the Family'I have spent my adult life in the company of children who have been my teachers.We got to know each other because someone in each child's life was addicted to alcohol or other drugs. For thirty years I have had a front-row seat in group watching, learning, and helping these youngest victims of addicted families, children who live with a legacy that can break hearts and destroy souls--one they certainly did not choose.They arrive carrying secrets, confusion, and pain.But almost all find their voice.These children can and do heal.' Understanding Addiction and Recovery Through a Child's Eyes shares the poignant and profound healing journeys of children who have found their voice and reclaimed their sense of self-worth.Each story reminds us that children have a unique way of viewing the world and shows how, with help, they can build upon strengths and deepen their resilience in spite of living in the shadow of addiction.In addition to the life-affirming stories, esteemed children's counselor Jerry Moe reveals how the healing process transcends the children and has a dramatic impact on the entire family system--especially their parents, giving them a new, deeper commitment to break the multigenerational legacy of addiction. ... Read more

Book Description
"The story of becoming sober signifies a great deal more than simply not 'picking up' or 'using'. This is a story not only of recovery, but also of what it means to live in sobriety."
Congressman Patrick J. Kennedy
1st District, Rhode Island

Customer Reviews (12)

An Amazing Journey
This gripping ,intimatestory covers a beautiful womans saga from a suburban middle class upbringing to pot smoking, alcohol- use thenabuse. Her journey in and out of education, bars, sex, drugsandrockandroll....After years of stupid, selfdestroyingbehavior...She finds a 12 Step Program,learns to live a complete life thenGraduatesattheTop of her class from 2 oftheNationsfinest Universities andemerges as oneofWashington DC's most respected,dedicated and devoted Counslers/Psyco Analysts. Herstory is riviting and an inspiration.

A Must Read for Recovery and Emotional Growth
I very recently read this book and would recommend it to anyone who is in recovery and looking for answers on how to get better emotionally and spiritually after addiction.While many books have accounts of the active addiction, this book is more about understanding the underlying causes and the way out to spritual growth. The author's deep understanding of the addictions that have affected many in our society, gives hope to the newly recovered alcoholic and drug addict looking for a reason to continue in their search for sobriety and meaning in their lives.

A remarkable story, worth revisiting often!
This is a remarkable story of courage and perseverance, but most of all hope.And one of the most important "take aways" is that recovering from addiction is more than not just using -it is about allowing changes in attitudes, beliefs and actions to permeate the rest of your life.Dr. Smith does a wonderful job in allowing this part of the story to unfold, as she takes us through her journey through a "new life."

I've read it 3x since purchasing it about a month ago. And I never fail to find something worthwhile even when picking it up to peruse a few pages. Lots of lessons here!!

Inspiration for a Nation Struggling with Addiction
Anyone interested in public policy regarding addiction should read this book.We live in an age where addiction to food, alcohol, drugs, sugar, or whatever seems to be overpowering all the genius of our modern scientific society.The mystery of why we have not been able to make significant advances in treating addiction is the question of the 21st century.Dr. Anita Gadhia-Smith's excellent book, "From Addiction to Recovery", is a wonderful read.Dr Gadhia-Smith describes her own life in great detail.She was a woman with everything, and yet she felt into severely addictive behavior.Her struggle about her road to recovery is something everyone should read.Many young people may realize that if such a fine person such as Dr. Gadhia-Smith could fall to addiction and yet recover, they should conclude that they are also children of God and that they too can recover.

- Larry Pressler

Very Educational, Honest, and Helpful!
I really enjoyed reading this book. It shows that one can work their way through very difficult times. The author was very forthcoming and inspirational. She worked through many obstacles to reach her goals. This is a very inspiring book for many audiences. I think it would be helpful for people with addictions, their families and professionals who work in this area. This is a great tool to become more aware of addiction in our society today. It also has many useful strategies to work on and overcome addictions. ... Read more

Book Description
"Dr. Patrick Carnes is a creative,  pioneering, and courageous human being. His books are  changing the lives of  thousands!"

"I lost three marriages, all because of affairs."  "I became suicidal because of multiple intense  involvements."

"I spent money on sex when I  needed it for children's clothes."

"I  lost promotion opportunities and a special  scholarship because my co-workers found out about my sex  life."

Every day they face the possibility of  destruction, risking their families, fiances,  jobs, dignity, and health. They come from all walks  of life: ministers, physicians, therapists,  politicians, executives, blue-collar workers. Most were  abused as children--sexually, physically or  emotionally--and saw addictive behavior in their early  lives. Most grapple with other addictions as well,  but their fiercest battle is with the most  astounding prevalent "secret" disorder in  America: sexual addiction. Here is a ground-breaking  work by the nation's leading professional expert on  sexual addiction, based on the candid testimony of  more than one thousand recovering sexual addicts  in the first major scientific study of the  disorder. This essential volume includes not only the  revealing findings of Dr. Carne's research with  recovering addicts but also advice from the addicts and  co-addicts themselves as they work to overcome  their compulsive behavior. Positive, hopeful, and  practical, Don't Call It Love is  a landmark book that helps us better understand  all addictions, their causes, and the difficult path  to recovery. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (13)

Amazingly and painfully insightful
I had already read Out of the Shadows by Patrick Carnes but Don't Call it Love was even more a amazing.It was painful to read trying tounderstand the sex addicts torment as well as the co-addicts.But on the other hand it was also refreshing to know that there is life after sex addiction and recovery is not only possible but necessary. I would recommend this book to anyone in recovery, it has helped me immensely.

My husband's secret revealed..I needed answers..I found them here!!
Easily, I could say that Patrick Carne's books on sexual addiction has saved my marriage and my husband's life and maybe my own as well. My first read was "Out of the Shadows" and it softened my angry heart after hearing my husbands confession of being with around 100 women over the past 5 years of our 17 year marriage and all sexual encounters were UNPROTECTED sex. I found out the hard way. How could all these powerful, crippling emotions that I was feeling be tamed?? How could I ever forgive this scrum of the earth!! READ this book and you can do the impossible!!
It answers my questions without having to continually confront my husband with the aweful thoughts of how he could be such a hypocrite all our married years!! What was he doing? Is he comparing me to his many different women when we had sex? Will he do it again? Will he always lie?? Is he really a good person deep down?? etc. All the questions have been answered and then some and I saw my own behaviors make the situation even worse without my knowing. I was a coaddict and codependent at different times. In only 4 months of my recovery and 18 months of his recovery we are happier than I ever thought possible!! This book takes you step by step as to what you can expect with building a healthy relationship with a recovering sex addict!! It is very detailed and gives advice from recovering addicts! It speaks in easy to understand language. It recognizes problems that can arise and gives you answers as to what to do if they happen to you!!
This was my fifth book on looking for answers to sexual addiction..Out of the Shadows was first, Secret Wars..second..Love, Sex and Infidelity, His Needs/Her Needs, and finally, with MUCH relief to my quest..DON'T CALL IT LOVE!! AFter reading this book I don't feel the need to read anymore on the subject of sexual addiction. I have more hope than I ever thought possible. The communication, Openess and honesty are first and foremost in reestablishing our relationship that was always crippled from the start of our marriage because he thought getting married would fix his problem!! It doesn't! It affects everyone around you and even the children!
If you are a sex addict or spouse, family member, friend, etc. of a sex addict..READ this book!! You will not be disappointed at all!! No book has done such a good job at laying it all out there and still keep it in healthy context for anyone to read! I saw my whole marriage and all the frustration of it take shape and form and how it brought out the worst in each of us..Now it is bringing out the very best in us with the 12 step program and this book!! Patience and understanding is most helpful and if you don't have it now you will get it from this book!! Good Luck to you and God Bless!!

As an Addiction Therapist I recommend this book to all of my clients seeking recovery from addiction to sex
Carnes can be readily credited for leading the way in developing a sound understanding of sex addiction and importantly, the treatment of this. By presenting sexually destructive behaviour within the paradigm of "addiction", Carnes has succesfully created a "problem to solution" model which offers a way out of sexually addictive behaviour. In "Don't Call it Love" Carnes offers a plan for living and a route out of this powerfully compelling condition. He manages to present a readable and coherent guide, outlining the multiple dimensions of both sex addiction and recovery from this. In his usual realisitic and compassionate style, this book makes it clear that the process of abstinence and recovery is concerned with helping "Good people get well" rather than helping "Bad people be good". Fundamentally, this book offers a clear message of hope to any person affected by sex addiction that recovery is indeed possible and importantly - enjoyable !!

Very Helpful!
As an addictions counselor and author, I found Carnes's work to be very insigtful and helpful. He has done a wonderful job highlighting a problem that is not often discussed and certainly misunderstood. I recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn more about sexual addiction. Please be sure to include this title as part of your recovery.

John D. Moore
Author of Confusing Love with Obsession

Positively Stunning
The world would be a remarkably better place if "Don't Call it Love" could be required reading for all humanity.

This book documents the results of a study that looked at people who identified themselves as tending to act in a compulsive manner sexually.There is no shame here, no accusations, and no demands, simply concurrent statements of fact.This was Carnes' study and these are the results.

If you've ever wondered, ever even suspected, by the time you finish this book you will know for sure, one way or the other.

I also read "Out of the Shadows," by Carnes.It rang true in the same way, and I've found that many people can finish it in one sitting."Don't call it love" takes longer, but is much more comprehensive.I strongly reccomend buying both, starting with "Out of the Shadows" and then moving on to this one.

Bottom Line; whether or not you or someone you know struggles with sexually compulsive behavior, what you will learn from this book will help you understand the psycology of addiction and make you a more compassionate human being.

Far and away the best book on the topic I have ever read. ... Read more

Book Description

Millions of people enter or seriously consider entering alcohol or drug treatment each year. In their understandable state of urgency, most first-time treatment seekers and their loved ones may rush to the first treatment option they encounter. They are unlikely to be aware of why one form of intervention would be a good choice for their particular problem or why some approaches may, under some conditions, actually be harmful. Lacking reliable information, they are unable to make informed choices.

Recovery from Addiction offers a concise, reader-friendly guide for substance dependent persons, their families, and friends to help make sense of the full range of available treatment options.

Cloud and Granfield introduce readers to their options, from inpatient and outpatient programs and today's major pharmacological approaches to alternative therapies including strategies for using the Internet to access support meetings and approaches which do not call for life-long abstinence from the substances now causing the problem. They outline the underlying principles of each program, its pros and cons, and what a participant can expect when entering that type of treatment, guiding readers in choosing the approach likely to be best for them or their loved one. They also provide specific strategies for addicted individuals who wish to consider recovery on their own, without groups or treatment.

A vital resource for addicts wishing to recover and their loved ones, Recovery from Addiction is also a valuable tool for health care professionals, from social workers to school counselors, responsible for referring clients to drug and alcohol recovery programs. ... Read more

Book Description
"This wise book provides practical exercises that will help us to develop conscious awareness and inner understanding, and the ways and means to free us from unsatisfying habits, addictions, and unconscious behavior patterns. I recommend it highly."
--Lama Surya Das, author of the bestselling Awakening the Buddha Within

"Anyone interested in finding a kind, spiritual guide to recovery that focuses on flexibility rather than the `one true way' will benefit from this enjoyable and helpful book."
--Maia Szalavitz, coauthor with Joseph Volpicelli, M.D., of Recovery Options: The Complete Guide

In Mindful Recovery, you'll discover a fresh and effective method for healing from addiction that can help you handle important challenges, from managing anxiety and resisting cravings to dealing with emotional and physical imbalance.

Drawing on both ancient spiritual wisdom and the authors' extensive clinical psychological work with their patients over many years, Mindful Recovery shows you how to use the simple Buddhist practice of mindfulness to be aware of-- and enjoy-- life in the present moment without the need to enhance or avoid experience with addictive behaviors.Mindful Recovery guides you step by step through ten powerful "doorways" to mindful recovery, giving you specific strategies that can help you cultivate a sense of calm awareness and balance in your life.

Filled with personal stories of recovery, practical exercises, instructions for meditation, and more, Mindful Recovery accompanies you on a journey of exploration and healing that will help you find the strength and the tools to change, leading you to a fresh new experience of everyday living. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (10)

Worth Your Time
This is definitely a book worth reading, whether you are dealing with your own addiction (of any kind) or if someone you know is.It is written from a "spiritual" perspective, though not spiritual in the sense of any one particular religious or philosophical tradition. For example, the author looks for inspiration from Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, etc.

Thomas Bien writes in a gentle, understanding and encouraging tone. Thisis one of those books that can be picked up and read a few pages at a time, from any point.It is worth your time and money.

Clinicians and those in recovery
An excellent book with a good line into spirituality for those with an aversion to organized religion.Those working in the recovery often have a block thown up when trying to get a client to release his/her preconceived ideas about manipulating the environment.This book provides an excellent approach toward the concept of spirituality as a separate entity from religious beliefs without impinging on them.

More than a recovery book
This book uses Buddhist philosophy integrated with Western science to help readers discover and define meaning and purpose in life. It's not only a book about overcoming addiction, but can help anyone to find a more fulfilling way of life.

A flexible, integrated approach to overcoming addiction...
Mindful recovery is a book that focuses on maintaining your abstinence from any addiction, once you have made the decision to quit: "...if you can build a happy, fulfilling, meaningful life, relapse will be much less of an issue." It's a flexible approach to recovery based on facing life with an attitude of acceptance, rather than running away from life through an addiction.

I love how Thomas and Beverly Bien integrated the spiritual concepts of the East with the more scientific ideas found in psychology: "While our approach is rooted in Eastern traditions of mindfulness...The West has its own approaches to mindfulness. Journaling, narrative psychology, insight-oriented psychotherapy, relationship work, and dream analysis...we present a blend of Eastern and Western wisdom." They also briefly touch upon the fallacy of black and white thinking, borrowed from cognitive styles of recovery. In ten "doorways," this book presents many little essays that elaborate on these themes through quotes, personal stories, and practical applications. By the time you finish this book, you will have a full understanding of mindfulness and how to use it to free yourself from addiction.

Mindful recovery, however, has a potential negative: the reader can easily become overwhelmed by the myriad of "Practices" the authors have developed to explore mindfulness in every capacity - work, relationships, dreams, and the like. The "Practices" seem to be endless. But the authors wisely predict this: "...having so many tools can also seem a little overwhelming - as though you had a lot of things to do and remember. It isn't so. Whenever you feel this way...remind yourself that there is really only one thing to remember and it is the simplest thing of all: to be mindful, to be aware."

I also strongly agree with their paradigm of change. It's a process of six stages, borrowed from James Prochaska and Carlo DiClemente, who co-authored Changing for Good. And it's empowering, because their notion allows for relapse with a mentality of acceptance and learning: "...most people do go through these stages several times before establishing permanent change. For this reason, it is equally important to be able to view a slip...as a temporary setback rather than ultimate failure."

At the heart of this book are the practices of meditation and journaling. Regardless of how many Practices mentioned throughout the book, these two are definitely the twin pillars that support mindfulness. They are simple, flexible, and easy to implement in your life.

I highly recommend this book. Just make sure to stay on course with the simplicity of mindfulness, and let your intuition guide you as to how to implement it into your life.

Good alternative to AA and to non-chemical addictions
I had been searching unsuccessfully for a book that dealt with computer games addiction. A friend suggested that the 12-Step program could help with all kinds of addictions, but I was just not comfortable with the whole religious aspect of that model.
This book offered just what I needed. I could just substitute the words "computer gaming" whenever alcohol or drugs were mentioned, and the information related ever-so-well. The author writes with a warm, non-threatening style which really helped me to be able to confront my demons. I highly recommend it!!! ... Read more

Book Description
At last, a book that defines a new language for treating substance abuse in an increasingly culturally diverse population. Until now, therapists, counselors, and teachers who treat addiction within the context of the whole family have had to make do with outdated one-size-fits-all theories and treatment programs.Bridges to Recovery is the first book to bring together experts from three major fields within psychotherapy -- family therapy, addiction counseling and multicultural treatment -- to provide a practical and flexible framework for working with families within their individual cultural contexts. Drawing upon case studies, clinical anecdotes and proven treatment methods, Bridges to Recovery provides practitioners with a unique insight into the individual cultural nuances that make addiction recovery a very personal journey.Jo-Ann Krestan, co-author of the classic book The Responsibility Trap: A Blueprint for Treating the Alcoholic Family, and her contributors integrate the latest ideas and research to offer a foundation for addiction treatment that brings to the forefront the cultural thinking that affects alcohol and drug use/abuse among Native Americans, Jewish Americans, African Americans, West Indians, Asian Americans, Mexican Americans, Puerto Ricans and groups of European origin. This book will be an invaluable asset to teachers and students in clinical social work, psychology and substance abuse counseling programs, setting the standard for education and treatment at the beginning of the 21st century. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (3)

excellent on Native culture
The section from the Native counselor which includes the cultural belief systems of Natives is the best I have come across in the literature. Their version of the 12 Steps is included also. This extensive section is worthe the price of the book!
Katherine van Wormer,co-author of Addiction Treatment

Begin your healing journey
"Bridges to Recovery" shows the greatness of diversity to enrich our recovery with other people's ideas. It embodies something new for each of us to learn about the spiritual aspects of personal growth and find comfort in the healing process.I found it full of information for newcomers to sobriety as well as for old-timers like myself. Where else could you find reflected the brillance of God as you understand him in its impetus to spiritual growth? This book urges you to begin your healing journey and creates and open atmosphere that just might save your life.

Bridges to Recovery: Outstanding Resource
Practical, rich in clinical wisdom, chock full of fascinating case illustrations, Bridges to Recovery is a comprehensive and enlightening book-- an appropriate book to lead our addictions work into the twenty-firstcentury. It transforms our understanding of addiction and offers us aclinical and theoretical head start for the complex cultural tasks ahead ofus. This is the first book in our clinical literature to comprehensivelyaddress addiction treatment from a perspective of multicultural competence.It should be required reading for all those in the health care field whodeal with substance abuse. Every physician, psychologist, social worker,nurse and counselor should become familiar with the ideas in thisbook.

The editor, Jo-Ann Krestan, one of the senior clinicians andthinkers in the family therapy field, and a seminal teacher and clinicianon issues of addiction, has brought together a remarkable and diverse groupof clinicians who have front line experience and knowledge of the strugglesof those suffering from addiction. They have done a superb job ofsummarizing the research and articulating their own and their group'scultural wisdom for intervention. The chapters take account of each group'scultural and political history and the impact of oppression andmarginalization within the dominant culture in the United States.

MonicaMcGoldrick, Director, The Multicultural Family Institute, Highland Park,N.J.(www.MulticulturalFamily.org), whose books include Ethnicity and FamilyTherapy, Revisioning Family Therapy: Race, Culture and Gender in ClinicalPractice, The Expanded Family Life Cycle and Genograms ... Read more

Customer Reviews (4)

Knowledge of Addiction
This book offered an insite into the why of addiction. It also offered steps to stay on the path of being drug free, and how to avoid the pit falls of using drugs again.To be honest with ones self-evaluation and to understand the long range effects of using Cocaine is also discussed in this book. An Extemely benificial read.

Pure Facts
Written in '89, this book is as current as can be.Extremely helpful, specially for family of addicts.Very clearly and to the point, it covers all the facts; onset of desease, progression, treatment and most important relapse prevention.A must read if someone you love is cocaine dependent.What an eye opener!Highly recomended.

This book is a must for understanding cocaine addiction!
When my husband entered rehab for cocaine addiction several weeks ago, I knew nothing about this drug, and why it had such a hold on him.After reading this book, I feel like I can understand where he is at, and how to deal with it.As someone said before it contains priceless information.I thank God I was able to find this book. I highly recommend it to addicts, family members, and professionals wanting to learn everything about cocaine addiction.

The most useful information I've come across on the topic!
As someone who has suffered with an addict for years, and who also plans to eventually practice in the field of addiction and recovery, I found this book to contain a wealth of priceless information.It provided incredible insight into the mind of the addict which will be useful to the addict himself, to family and friends, as well as to the treatment professional.A must read for anyone touched by the pain of addiction. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (76)

There is a solution...ABSTINENCE!!!
I am so happy to see all the great reviews! This book deserves them all. Being frustrated several years back with going through several bouts of AA, twice with a highly recommended sponsor, I finally came across this book. As a brainwashed AA member, I too was initially put off by Trimpeys AA "bash". But I kept reading, and things started to really make sense. One instance in particular stands out. Once, upon rejoining AA, I said to my sponsor "I will never drink again." And she said, "Don't say that, just say that you will not drink just for today." There was a nagging funny sensation in my brain, then and there, that told me that couldn't possibly make sense. The real me, not the addicted me, was giving me the correct information. All of AA is based on that one day at a time concept. And I wanted an absolute end to my problem, so I could get on with my life. Truly "happy, joyous, and free", and not having to spend 365 hours a year or more at meetings, where I felt left out, just like in highschool, because people in AA form their little cliques too. After completing "Rational Recovery", I have become simply a healthy, happy person who does not drink anymore. I don't count days, I retrained my thought process so that when the addictive voice makes an appearance, I know how to respond. I am completely cured, if that's what you want to call abstinence. Certainly this book isn't for those who TRULY believe that AA is working for them. But for anyone else, who kinda thinks AA works, but sometimes, in a meeting, or whenever, you get a funny feeling like "isn't AA supposed to work?! why don't I feel any different? why aren't I happy and confident? but I only have to get through today...." Bull. This book saved my life. It has given me everything that AA promises, but instead of making it a life long process, it took only as long as it took me to read the book.And by not relying on other people to "save me", my self esteem and self confidence have skyrocketed. And AA bases a lot on that one drinks because of other character flaws, that if one becomes honest, generous, sacrificing, etc. that you will have the best defense against that next drink. Rational Recovery disregards all those character "defects" and goes to the root of the problem and kills it. Leaving you to be who you really are, and have been all along, simply now you just don't consume anymore.THIS WORKS!!!!!!! And if it doesn't work for you, then I guess you can always go back to AA. For the rest of your life, every day, working steps, calling people, reading BB over...Best of luck either way!!!

from a grateful reader
This book contains a very simple and very powerful technique for breaking free from the iron grip of substance addiction.I was addicted to alcohol for many years, and afraid that I would never be able to stop drinking.Rational Recovery gave me the tools I needed to stop drinking, forever.Jack Trimpey, I am sincerely grateful.Thank you.

Relevent, but out-dated
While this book does lay the foundation of an INDIVIDUALISTIC APPROACH to recovering from an addiction, with the "AVRT" menthod, the fact that it is now 11 years out of date, and makes reference to "Rational Recovery Centers", and "Rational Recovery Specialists" shows that the book needs a BADLY NEEDED UPDATE! It's approach is direct, and easy to comprehend. Were it more modern, would give it a better ranking.

A reader
I quit smoking a few years ago after smoking for 10 years using this method - I just didn't know I WAS using this method. It was before I had ever heard of it. I was smoking a pack a day. Patches weren't working, gum wasn't working - nothing. Then, one day, I just told myself I have the power to NOT go to the store and buy cigs. It worked. It was a rough first week, but I'm smoke-free now.

Part two of my battle was with drinking - I was doing 5-7 drinks a night. Every night. Sometimes more. For nearly 10 years. I finally just decided it was time. This time I turned to the Web and found Timpey's site (search AVRT on google). I read Timpey's flash cards, which are free on his site (look for "begin recovery now" or something like that). The flash cards outline what this book is all about. By the time the flash cards were done (10 minutes later), I suddenly was very sure I could quit drinking. I'm only 3 days in since reading his flash cards, but I know I can do this.

Everyone does have it in them to quit. I live a busy life. The idea of being in AA meetings constantly, and the depressing idea of living my life day one life at a time sounded almost as dreadful to me as continuing to drink. THIS is the alternative. The only reason Timpey blasts AA meetings is because he truly believes that method gives your mind the opening to think that "relapse" is normal or OK - which sets you up to drink again at some point.

I am confident I will not drink again. No doubt about it. I'm not even worried about it. Does that sound like someone who quit only 3 days after drinking heavily for 10 years? I really that empowered. I have no doubt. I have no fears. I will not drink again. Period. I also will never smoke again. Never. This book CAN make you think like I do. I'm sure of it.

I'm not going to buy the book because I think I naturally was ready for this. But I suggest others at least go to his web site first. Maybe buy the book if you feel you need more. Good luck! Your life depends on it. You CAN find a normal life and happiness.

Important Part Of The Process
Recovery from any addiction is a multileveled process.This book was a very significant part of it for me. ... Read more

Book Description
Witnessing the addiction of a family member or loved one is a heart-rending experience. But hope can prevail, as shown in this compelling new book. Here, the gripping stories of fathers, mothers, sons, and daughters of addicts offer important lessons on loving, detachment, intervention, and self care. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (9)

Read this one first - great overview!
Hopeless confusion are the two words that come to mind when I think of the time I learned my two daughters were heroin addicts.I wish I had this book then.It gives very good descriptions and examples of the things you will feel, the questions you will have, and the hope that is there behind all the despair.You'll still try to cure them, but it won't take so long to realize that you can only cure yourself.This book is also for those of you who dismiss the worthless, lying, thieving drug addicts and alcolholics out there as a waste of effort, as I once did.Read this book, and feel the pain and agony of the loving codependents of those addicts, and pray you are not next.

Addict in the Family - A book from someone who understands
It is a good insight into the many issues and how to deal with having an addict in the family.Can learn valuable lessons for life even if you don't have the same circumstances. Ideal gift for a family that has an addict in their midst.

Excellent....right on!
Addict in the Family it a great read for both the family as well as the substance user.For the family it confirms everything we feel and how we unknowingly continue to enable the user. It gives you help on how to encourage the user to seek the help they need while not enabling and giving them the love and support they need. I though I understood my user, but this book filled in all the missing pieces and helped me to really get it. For the user it helps them to understand what the family really goes through and how their substance use really affects the ones they love and the family dynamics.I leave mine in the bathroom or on the coffee table and often I see it moved or placed differently....he reads it a little at a time when he visits....and sometime we have open discussions about something he has read in the book. ANOTHER great book[ASIN:0060919698 Willpower's Not Enough: Recovering from Addictions of Every Kind]...meant for the user...but great for the family as well.

An Absolute Must Read
As a mother of an addict, this book is exactly what I needed.I didn't think I was going to keep my sanity, I really needed help!This book provided hope, advice, encouragement for ME, fulfilled my anxiety with calmness and a real sense of PEACE.Ms. Conyers put this book together with such expertise that it felt like she was my personal counsellor.I took notes throughout and read it in one day.I couldn't put it down.It's helped me deal with my addiction to trying to "fix" my addicted daughter.So much better than any other book I've read.

Best of Many Written
I am taking the time to write this review to encourage anyone who is in a close relationship with an addict to read this book.I have read many books on addiction but this one has really changed my way of looking at my own life while dealing with the addiction of a loved one. ... Read more

Book Description
Welcome Home offers recovery solutions to the complex problem of addictions and is relevant to people who are caught up in the lonely grips of addictive behaviors, as well as concerned family and friends, professionals, and educators.

Welcome Home outlines a recovery approach that views addictive behavior as an expression of unresolved needs, an absence of self-love.Although many people try to satisfy these needs by engaging in addictive behaviors, fulfillment is fleeting.This is because self-love cannot be found in a bottle, ice cream, sex, or drugs.Compulsions can only be resolved by identifying the emotional deficits that trigger the addictive behavior, then filling the void with self-respect and self-love.This is the Welcome Home experience - an awareness that the nurturing qualities of home, such as love, comfort, and security, lie within each of us.

Much of the material in this book is presented in a first person diary format.The "I" referred to in the text is dedicated to anyone who engages in compulsive behaviors.Simple visualizations and affirmations show us how to replace the addictive behaviors with self-love, thereby allowing us to experience contentment.

The text of Welcome Home is divided into three sections. Section 1, "The Pain," identifies causes of addictive problems by examining some of the underlying issues which may trigger addictive patterns, such as, perfectionism, fear of rejection, self-neglect, inadequacy, guilt, excessive fear, and low self-esteem.

Section 2, "The Help," focuses on solutions to addictive tendencies by inviting us to minimize fear and learn to be self-loving and self-reliant.Self-love includes (1) accepting our feelings, (2) giving ourselves permission to have fun, and (3) embracing constructive anger.As we become familiar with methods for solving addictive behaviors, we begin to enjoy the rewards of our personal growth efforts.

Section 3, "The Hope," affirms that self-love supports us in abstaining from compulsions, and that we can forgive ourselves for self-inflicted abuse.This creates a positive environment in which to pursue healing.As we take responsibility for our actions and become self-reliant, we begin to enjoy healthy relationships with ourselves and others.

A glossary is included, offering explanations of such words as affirmations, compulsive behavior, emotional symptoms of addictive behavior, energy, health, inner child, inner power, and truth. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (8)

Helps you to live a life with inner peace
In WELCOME HOME the author shares the journal of a person who is on a journey of personal growth.Anyone who is likewise seeking to live a life with less self-doubting and more inner peace can identify with and gaininsight from the thoughts that are shared.This is a book which I pick upand just turn to a page when I'm needing some help.I am always surprisedthat I seem to find just the nessage I need to hear.I also like theself-help exercises.

Found this book very helpfulfor my personal growth.
Having a master's degree in counseling psychology, I highly recommend this book to assist in one's personal growth.I found the information very helpful in my own self-exploration.I also enjoyed the visualizationexercises and suggested affirmations.

Verythoughtprovoking - an easy read.
I first read "Welcome Home" 9 years ago. Justrecently I picked it up again and, with thepassage of time, found a deeper insight into myself, my children and grandchildren.Bless you for this understanding.

Addresses the core issues behind addictions.
Hi my name is Linda.Thanks for this opportunity to let you know about a great book in which Dr. Gelb targets the deep, underlying issues and insecurities that drive many addictions.I have found the informationsupportive and helpful.It is like having your own teacher and friendwhenever you need the support.I highly recommend this book to get intouch with the wonderful life one could be living and deserves to have.

Deep and very thought provoking.
Having never been involved in any form of addictions(or that I was aware of )this book was a real eye opener in so much as things that I as a new immigrant in a new country had difficulty comming to terms with foundhelp,advice and solutions to fears that were facing me.Getting in touchwith one's most inner feelings is always a hard thing to do as yourjudgement is always clouded from a subjective point.The main thing is thatthis book is user friendly.Thank-you for helping me to understand myself. ... Read more

Book Description
Learn what it's like to be a member of an addiction recovery group!

Group Psychotherapy and Recovery from Addiction: Carrying the Message is NOT a self-help book. Instead, it's a rare opportunity to sit in on a virtual therapy group and take part in a virtual Twelve Step meeting. The book's unique perspective lets you compare and contrast the experience of participating in a psychotherapy group and a Twelve Step group, including an examination of the Twelve Steps and The Twelve Traditions. The book demystifies the process of recovery, demonstrating all the important elements of the group process, including free association, resistance, transference, re-enactment, boundary management, interpretation, and confrontation.

Rather than relate shared stories of addicts in recovery or present abstract formulations on the group experience, Group Psychotherapy and Recovery from Addiction takes you inside the experiential process of recovery that can't be achieved in isolation. Your experience as a group "member" will help solve the mystery of the group process and provide you with insight into the scientific elements of recovery as the book builds a bridge between the Twelve Step programs and a psychoanalytic model of group functioning.

Group Psychotherapy and Recovery from Addiction examines:

how the group carries the message of recovery
the higher power of the group as a symbol of authority
the development of prayer and meditation as group analytic functions
addiction as a family disease
making amends as an export process
powerlessness and free association
unmanageability and resistance
surrender and transference
inventory and re-enactments
humility and working through
The Twelve Steps and The Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous
and much more!

Group Psychotherapy and Recovery from Addiction: Carrying the Message is a unique resource for group therapists, addiction treatment professionals, and anyone else interested in group therapy—especially those who have personal experience with Twelve ... Read more