Book Description
A former sex addict himself, Dr. Mark Laaser offers help and hope for regaining and maintaining sexual integrity, self-control, and wholesome, biblical sexuality. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (6)

Straight forward and very practical
This book hits the nail on the head by dealing with the roots of sexual addiction and giving practical steps toward recovery.If you are ready to be free, then do the hard work of examining your childhood for any abuse or neglect, whether real or perceived, and you'll discover the lies you tell yourself to find comfort in impurity.This is where the real challenge is because we are so afraid of feeling that pain again.But I'm here to tell you that the path to healing is through the pain and discomfort of processing those experiences.Know this...emotional pain will not kill you but the addiction will.You will need help from others to do this but you can and you must do it to rid yourself of this demon.The book gives you all the info and direction to do this.

Must Have
Fabulous book. Beautifully explains the roots of as well as the pain involved in sexual addictions. Gives hope for those who struggle with this and would help friends and family to understand at least in part, what the addict is dealing with. This book recognizes sin as sin, but does so with a spirit of love and not condemnation. It is honest and inspiring.

Faithful and True: Sexual Integrity in a Fallen World
This is a small book, that enclosed a lot information about the begining of adictions, also talks about the reasons for what people are changing religions. Is very important to mention, one of the big problems of the sexual addictions. In one of the chapters Laaser said that the sexual addict could been abusedwhen they were babies and could been by his or her mother when she was chabging the pampers, or the mother played with the genitals, in the majority of cases this happens with boys. The sexual addict fulfill his emptyness with sex, drugs or alcohol or even going to church more often. Laaser include graphics in his book, where he explains in one cycle the reasons for sexual addictions. I understand this book very well, because I had the opportunity to take a class with Patrick Carness and he explained briefly the content of this book, used as text for the class at University of California Riverside Extension, How to Diagnose Addictions. Using the examples of Carness based in the book Faithful and True, I had the opportunity to diagnose one of my friends who was abandoned by his parents when he was a kid. His father moved from El Salvador to the United States and his mother devoted her life to the church after she changed her religion forgetting about her family. This is based on an example of Laaser about reason to cover up the sexual needs . This is a very good book, talks about the The Faithful and The Truth of this fallen world, I higly recommend this book to every body who has any addictions or he or she thinks is addicted to sex. Recognizing the addiction is the first step for the cure and learn to live with the addiction and Laaser gives plenty of examples for a new lifestyle.

Psycology and Christianity don't mix
After reading intenty through out this entire book, I found it offered nothing in the way of concrete practical help.It covers a broad area with very little depth.Much in the form of why this problem occurs, but very little on the how to put an end to it, other than costly treatment methods.This book is catered more to the extreme addict, who would be better off by getting that expensive treatment rather than reading this book, which would only tell that person to get it anyway.For the average man who wasn't severly abused or emotionally damaged, but does have a problem with fractional sexaul addiction (80% of men out there), i,e: porn,extra marital affairs, this is not the book for you.It is built on man made psycology rather than sound biblical prinicipals despite the sparse sprinlking of verses throughout.

Faithful and True
This book written about sex addiction from a christianperspective is excellent!It explains boundries and using the 12 step recovery process in an easy to understand format.Written by a former pastor,this book is a wonderful tool for recovery for both the christian and non-christian. ... Read more

Book Description
Written from firsthand experience, this amazingly open book offers hope and healing for women who have been hurt by their husband's sexual addiction. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (5)

Hope after Betrayal
This was an extremely helpful book to read - full of hope and inspiration for women in a marriage with a sex addict.

Great information on a relevant topic
Meg is quick to point out that sexual addiction isn't about sex, and a sexual addict isn't just the guy you see on "To Catch A Predator." Sexual addiction has quite possibly visited the guy in the cubicle next to you at work or the pastor in your pulpit. Meg's book is about the redemption and restoration of a woman's heart that's been torn to pieces by her husband's bad choices. If you or anyone you know has been hurt by her husband's repeated use of pornography or other sexual activity, I would encourage you to take a look at Hope After Betrayal. One of the most amazing things about the book was that Meg's husband, Dave, wrote the last chapter. He encourages women that their husband's battle is truly his battle - and Dave gives these women permission to stop enabling. Hope After Betrayal is a powerful testimony of what hard work and the love of God can accomplish in a marriage when two people are willing to walk through the fire to reach for the purest gold.

Hope and praise
Meg Wilson's "Hope after Betrayal" is written in a way that any reader can understand the intent of the book.It is real.It is loving.It is insightful.It is a great resource.If you or anyone you know has a loved one engulfed in sexual addiction, make Meg's book THE book to read for help that goes beyond the norm.

A Wonderful Guide of Hope for Women Betrayed by Their Husbands
I found Meg Wilson's Hope After Betrayal to be an uplifting, compassionate book for women who feel hopeless and betrayed after discovering their husband's unfaithfulness and sexual addiction.
It's as if God is speaking through Meg and talking directly to the reader. She gives examples of how different women react and deal with this problem and how God guided her on the path to healing from the deep hurt she, herself, suffered and how to avoid detours that make the situation much worse. Meg offers journaling exercises that empower women to take control of their lives and uncover issues that need to be dealt with and then how to go about dealing with them. She also cites Bible verses that apply directly to women dealing with such a desperate situation and offer hope and guidance and strengthen one's faith. There are so many women who need to read Meg Wilson's book so they can be free of turmoil and despair. It offers rays of hope for women who don't know where to turn.

There is HOPE in Meg's book
Meg Wilson has written an honest and revealing account of discovering her husband's sexual addiction and the devastation that followed.She talks openly about her journey out of despair and betrayal into a life of hope and loving again.Meg gives Godly advice in every chapter and shares resources that can aid in the restoration process.Her husband shares his story and thoughts in the last chapter.He answers the questions that the wife of a sex addict needs answering.This is "must" reading for any woman who has a husband, boyfriend, father, or son struggling with sexual addiction. ... Read more

Book Description
"Dr. Patrick Carnes is a creative,  pioneering, and courageous human being. His books are  changing the lives of  thousands!"

"I lost three marriages, all because of affairs."  "I became suicidal because of multiple intense  involvements."

"I spent money on sex when I  needed it for children's clothes."

"I  lost promotion opportunities and a special  scholarship because my co-workers found out about my sex  life."

Every day they face the possibility of  destruction, risking their families, fiances,  jobs, dignity, and health. They come from all walks  of life: ministers, physicians, therapists,  politicians, executives, blue-collar workers. Most were  abused as children--sexually, physically or  emotionally--and saw addictive behavior in their early  lives. Most grapple with other addictions as well,  but their fiercest battle is with the most  astounding prevalent "secret" disorder in  America: sexual addiction. Here is a ground-breaking  work by the nation's leading professional expert on  sexual addiction, based on the candid testimony of  more than one thousand recovering sexual addicts  in the first major scientific study of the  disorder. This essential volume includes not only the  revealing findings of Dr. Carne's research with  recovering addicts but also advice from the addicts and  co-addicts themselves as they work to overcome  their compulsive behavior. Positive, hopeful, and  practical, Don't Call It Love is  a landmark book that helps us better understand  all addictions, their causes, and the difficult path  to recovery. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (13)

Amazingly and painfully insightful
I had already read Out of the Shadows by Patrick Carnes but Don't Call it Love was even more a amazing.It was painful to read trying tounderstand the sex addicts torment as well as the co-addicts.But on the other hand it was also refreshing to know that there is life after sex addiction and recovery is not only possible but necessary. I would recommend this book to anyone in recovery, it has helped me immensely.

My husband's secret revealed..I needed answers..I found them here!!
Easily, I could say that Patrick Carne's books on sexual addiction has saved my marriage and my husband's life and maybe my own as well. My first read was "Out of the Shadows" and it softened my angry heart after hearing my husbands confession of being with around 100 women over the past 5 years of our 17 year marriage and all sexual encounters were UNPROTECTED sex. I found out the hard way. How could all these powerful, crippling emotions that I was feeling be tamed?? How could I ever forgive this scrum of the earth!! READ this book and you can do the impossible!!
It answers my questions without having to continually confront my husband with the aweful thoughts of how he could be such a hypocrite all our married years!! What was he doing? Is he comparing me to his many different women when we had sex? Will he do it again? Will he always lie?? Is he really a good person deep down?? etc. All the questions have been answered and then some and I saw my own behaviors make the situation even worse without my knowing. I was a coaddict and codependent at different times. In only 4 months of my recovery and 18 months of his recovery we are happier than I ever thought possible!! This book takes you step by step as to what you can expect with building a healthy relationship with a recovering sex addict!! It is very detailed and gives advice from recovering addicts! It speaks in easy to understand language. It recognizes problems that can arise and gives you answers as to what to do if they happen to you!!
This was my fifth book on looking for answers to sexual addiction..Out of the Shadows was first, Secret Wars..second..Love, Sex and Infidelity, His Needs/Her Needs, and finally, with MUCH relief to my quest..DON'T CALL IT LOVE!! AFter reading this book I don't feel the need to read anymore on the subject of sexual addiction. I have more hope than I ever thought possible. The communication, Openess and honesty are first and foremost in reestablishing our relationship that was always crippled from the start of our marriage because he thought getting married would fix his problem!! It doesn't! It affects everyone around you and even the children!
If you are a sex addict or spouse, family member, friend, etc. of a sex addict..READ this book!! You will not be disappointed at all!! No book has done such a good job at laying it all out there and still keep it in healthy context for anyone to read! I saw my whole marriage and all the frustration of it take shape and form and how it brought out the worst in each of us..Now it is bringing out the very best in us with the 12 step program and this book!! Patience and understanding is most helpful and if you don't have it now you will get it from this book!! Good Luck to you and God Bless!!

As an Addiction Therapist I recommend this book to all of my clients seeking recovery from addiction to sex
Carnes can be readily credited for leading the way in developing a sound understanding of sex addiction and importantly, the treatment of this. By presenting sexually destructive behaviour within the paradigm of "addiction", Carnes has succesfully created a "problem to solution" model which offers a way out of sexually addictive behaviour. In "Don't Call it Love" Carnes offers a plan for living and a route out of this powerfully compelling condition. He manages to present a readable and coherent guide, outlining the multiple dimensions of both sex addiction and recovery from this. In his usual realisitic and compassionate style, this book makes it clear that the process of abstinence and recovery is concerned with helping "Good people get well" rather than helping "Bad people be good". Fundamentally, this book offers a clear message of hope to any person affected by sex addiction that recovery is indeed possible and importantly - enjoyable !!

Very Helpful!
As an addictions counselor and author, I found Carnes's work to be very insigtful and helpful. He has done a wonderful job highlighting a problem that is not often discussed and certainly misunderstood. I recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn more about sexual addiction. Please be sure to include this title as part of your recovery.

John D. Moore
Author of Confusing Love with Obsession

Positively Stunning
The world would be a remarkably better place if "Don't Call it Love" could be required reading for all humanity.

This book documents the results of a study that looked at people who identified themselves as tending to act in a compulsive manner sexually.There is no shame here, no accusations, and no demands, simply concurrent statements of fact.This was Carnes' study and these are the results.

If you've ever wondered, ever even suspected, by the time you finish this book you will know for sure, one way or the other.

I also read "Out of the Shadows," by Carnes.It rang true in the same way, and I've found that many people can finish it in one sitting."Don't call it love" takes longer, but is much more comprehensive.I strongly reccomend buying both, starting with "Out of the Shadows" and then moving on to this one.

Bottom Line; whether or not you or someone you know struggles with sexually compulsive behavior, what you will learn from this book will help you understand the psycology of addiction and make you a more compassionate human being.

Far and away the best book on the topic I have ever read. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (3)

A comprehensive resource for connecting compulsive behavior to abuse
As a survivor of abuse as a very young child, it was very difficult for me to connect my own destructive, compulsive behavior to abuse.By researching the stories of many other survivors in this book I've been able to piece together what most likely happened.Survivors should be prepared for some potentially triggering content while reading, but it's still a good resource.Topics from eating disorders to alcohol and drugs are covered, and I'm starting to "get it" that all escape behaviors can be tied to childhood abuse, neglect, or shame of some kind.

The three-star rating would have been more if the content were not so triggering, and because my own recovery draws more from authors such as Patrick Carnes and John Bradshaw.Yet, for prepared survivors, and perhaps even more so for therapists, this is a good book to understand the wide variety of negative repercussions which result from abuse.

Excellent!
This book was the first one I found which discussed the affects of child sexual abuse it has on us as adults.This was an excellent book in making me understand better why I do what I do and joining the dots for me.

AMAZING TRUTHS ABOUT ADDICTION OF ANY KIND
THIS BOOK IS JUST AMAZING IN THE PRESENTATION.I LOVE THE WAY SHE DESCRIBES AND RELATES ALL ADDICTIONS, NOT JUST SEXUAL ABUSE.I WILL DEFINATELY USE IT AS A REFERENCE BOOK IN MY ENDEVORS.IT IS WRITTEN IN "LAYMAN'S TERMS" - SO ANYONE COULD UNDERSTAND THE TEXT.BRAVO! ... Read more

Book Description
We recommend Partrick Carne's Out of the Shadows.. to every sex addict and codependent we treat..This (book provides) a tremendously powerful experience, helping both sex addicts and codependents realize that they are not alone and not destined to eternally be at the mercy of the disease.Dr.Ralph Earle and Dr.Gregory Crow, Lonely All the Time "Out of the Shadows has become a guidebook for sufferers and counselors alike." Roda Salter, Keene Sentinel Sex is at the core of our identities.And when it becomes a compulsion, it can unravel our lives.Out of the Shadows is the premier work on this disorder, written by a pioneer in its treatment.Revised and updated to include the latest research-and to address the exploding phenomenon of cybersex addiction-this third edition identifies the danger signs, explains the dynamics, and describes the consequences of sexual addiction and dependency.With practical wisdom and spiritual clarity, it points the way out of the shadows of sexual compulsion and back into the light and fullness of life. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (61)

Excellent insight into sexual addiction
As I am currently in the process of divorcing a sex addict, this book was very insightful for me.It is still very painful to accept, but at least the book sheds insight into how and why this happens.

Everything you need to know - for starters
I purchased this book for my husband shortly after discovering his sexual addiction.He found it spoke to him so profoundly that he insisted I read it as well.It has a lot of information on a difficult topic presented in a way that just makes sense.By the end of the book, I felt real hope for his recovery.We have since purchased numerous other books by this same author.

An Excellent Book for Recovery
I've been in and out of therapy for nearly ten years trying to figure out what exactly was going on with me, but I realize now my problem was I was trying to treat my symptoms, like anxiety and depression, instead of the real problem.I read "Out of the Shadows" and was shocked at how accurately it described me and my life, and I realized my addiction has been destroying relationships with people I love and controlling my life for over half of my life.I'm a bit apprehensive about 12-step programs, but I'm fortunate to have a father who has completed the program and believes in it, so I've signed up today and will give it a try.From the book, the strangest thing about recovery is this paradox: you have to admit that you are powerless over your addiction in order to begin separating yourself from it. I had always thought I had to just ignore cravings like I did to quit smoking, or fight tooth-and-nail with willpower.But you have to seek help outside yourself to really get better.It's going to hurt, but not as bad as the fact I've lost forever some relationships I wish I could have back.I won't do that again.

Help put words to the turmoil you go through
Reading this book has helped me find the path towards the journey to finding the right words to describe what I was going through. As a codependent, you feel isolated, this book will make you feel like you are not going crazy and you are not alone! If you have a partner struggling and in denial, buy two of them and read the book together. Realization is part of the keys towards recovery.

Begin To Understand
This book is essential for anyone who is struggling with sex addiction.It provides insight and wisdom that helps to unravel the mystery and reduce the shame around compulsive sexual behavior.

This book is sometimes criticized for suggesting that 12-step programs should be a regular part of the addict's recovery.While this may be an issue for some people, I strongly suggest that you not let it deter you from buying the book.The suggestions are merely suggestions, and shouldn't be interpreted as being absolutely essential for one's recovery.

Regardless of whether or not you agree with everything that is suggested, this book will still teach you a great deal about the nature of sexual addiction, and open the door for you to make the changes necessary to rid yourself of this toxic, compulsive behavior and improve your relationships with friends, family, and yourself. ... Read more

Book Description
A remarkable work, Hope and Recovery guides and supports the life-transforming move from self-defeating and destructive sexual behavior to healthy, affirming sexuality.This widely acclaimed contribution to addiction literature applies the Twelve Step Program of Alcoholics Anonymous to the complex problem of sex addiction. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (3)

Basic Text of SCA, not SAA
Just as claraification: This book was written by anonymous members of the group Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA) and is the basic text of that group.I am a member of SCA and I have found this book extremely helpful.I would recommend it to anyone, both on the basis of a standalone book and and a possible introduction to what SCA is about.

It's not the basic text of SAA
I was checking out some recovery books on Amazon and noticed this review about "Hope and Recovery".I'm a member of Sex Addicts Anonymous and "Hope and Reovery" IS NOT the basic text of that fellowship.It is read, but it's not the basic text.If you read the Steps and Traditions in the book, and really the rest of the book, nowhere is Sex Addicts Anonymous ever mentioned in those pages.I'm not saying "don't read Hope and Recovery," I just want to make it clear that it's not the basic text of SAA.

"Hope and Recovery" is a good read especially if you're a sex addict seeking recovery.It's a great book to "identify" with the problem of sex addiction.What has helped me in my recovery program with sex addiction, however, is reading the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and the AA "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions"--the start of all 12-Step recovery programs.Though not an alcoholic, I can translate the problem as well as the solution to my sex addiction and my recovery from it, one day at a time.I use these two books more than I use "Hope and Recovery."

A very in-depth tool book of recovery for sexual addiction.
Hope & Recovery is the current basic text of SAA (Sex Addicts Anomyous, a twelve-step group for sexually recovering people). The book is designed for individuals who feel that they are sexually compusive and are looking for information on the addictive disease and "tools" to use to become and remain free from sexual addiction. Each of the twelve steps is explained in detail on how they can be lived daily for sexual recovery. A number of individuals tell their own experiences of how they lived their disease, discovered the hope of the program, and how they are currently living a life of recovery. The book is well written, sensitive, hopeful, and a continual must read through the journey of recovery. Definately Hope & Recovery. ... Read more

Book Description
Love, Infidelity and Sexual Addiction is an honest sharing of a trust betrayed.It chronicles the author's personal experiences with a sexually addicted spouse as well as stories of others in various stages of recovery from coaddiction.This book offers hope and healing to those who have suffered from repeated betrayal. It details a system of spiritual and emotional self-help including chapters defining Sexual Addiction and Coaddiction, The Shame-based Family and The Spiritually Centered Family, Signs of Obsession, Compulsive Behavior, Finding Self, The Solution, A Healthy Relationship, and Forgiveness.

Customer Reviews (6)

A needed book for codependents
The author provides very valuable information about sex addicts and about codependents.Her personal story gives readers a chance to be cautious if they are faced with a relationship with a sex addict.She gives complete descriptions of codependent behavior.What I liked best was the spiritual touch of the book.She emphasizes the importance of having a relationship with God and using prayer to stay on the right track.If you are involved inrelatinship with a sex addict, or if you know someone who is, this book is helpful.Although the author's relationship with the sex addict ended, she doesn't believe it has to be that way.

Other issues it didn't address
They need to update it to include emotional affairs, massage parlors and the web.All of these are very damaging to any relationship.The other factor that was not addressed was financial hardship caused by the sexual addiction and how that would affect the co-dependent if you chose to focus on self only.Although I do understand that a book can not cover all the issues of addiction or co-addiction in this case.

Must-read for COSA's
This is the best book I have read, so far.I have read most out there - but this is the first I read that wasn't geared towards understanding the addict.This one sure helped me understand, but it's a book for ME - a CO-Sex Addict. It's short, concise, and easy to understand.Some books get a bit technical for my liking.I don't want to know statistics - I want to heal!Good luck, and take care of you!Don't forget you are not alone.[...]

Love, Infidelity, and Sexual Addiction: A Codependent's Perspective
This book gives a very good insight into sexual addiction and the cause. It also covers in depth the role of the codependent.It is written in a very straightforward manner and easy to understand. A good book for anyone looking for information on sexual addition.

Good information, but a little outdated
Good healthy info here, but the information should be updated to include the internet age! ... Read more

Book Description
Pornography and sexual addiction have become epidemics in society today, and Christians are not exempt from their traps.Recovering from the pain and loneliness that comes with the betrayal of sexual addiction is not an easy task, but thereishope. InMy Husband Has a Secret , Molly Ann Miller shares her personal struggle with her husband’s sexual betrayal and offers compassion, comfort, and encouragement for women in similar situations.She stresses that the battle should not be for one’s marriage, but for one’s heart, and the only control women have is to take responsibility for themselves.Molly doesn’t offer easy answers.She doesn’t even claim to be past the struggle herself.Instead she points the way to a loving Savior who offers hope and healing to everyone involved, and who is willing to lead wives on the difficult journey to wholeness and peace. My Husband Has a Secretwill help you: Understand co-dependence and addiction, set boundaries, and work toward forgivenessLearn to live fully - no longer giving in to the thoughts that feed your brokennessFeel understood, comforted, and encouraged.And know that you arenotalone ... Read more

Customer Reviews (8)

Great Book
As this is a reletivly new 'addiction' in America, when I found my fiance up to some of this behavior, I didn't know where to go to learn about it but my first thought was "educate yourself about it...now!" and I did. This was the first book I read and it made me feel A LOT better within the first 3 chapters. I recommend this book to anyone going thru this as it a very useful tool.

When your are lost for words of wisdom of your own
My Husband Has A Secret: Finding Healing For The Betrayal Of Sexual Addiction This book is the perfect help when you are at a loss for words of your own. When a friend has confessed to you that this is her struggle - living with a husband who struggles with sexual addiction and the fact that she has helped him keep her secret. I had no wisdom to share as I could not fully understand - but Molly Ann does. Her words are perfect and I continue to find that keeping an extra book is impossible - as soon as I purchase another I hear of a friend who really needs the encouragement & support that this book brings. BUY TWO - you will find that you will have a hard time keeping a copy for yourself on your shelf.

Jill Suzanne Shook, Author/Editor, of Making Housing Happen
I didn't want to put this book down. It was engaging and surprisingly relevant to anyone. Yet, by listening to Townsend and Cloud on their New Life radio program, and hearing of the popularity of their "Every Man's Battle" workshop, I would have to sadly conclude that sexual addiction is more common than most of us think. One friend didn't know it was possible to be addicted to sex. And one pastor said the same. The awareness of this addiction and how it is destroying families must be raised as well as the hope of healing. This book does both.
I found My Husband Has a Secret quite practical at the skill development level, for example, the how to's of active listening and why that form of communication is so essential. I have shared this book with a number of friends and some of my students. They have described it with words like "compelling" "empowering" "sad but hopeful." Others have wondered if this couple is still together after what they have gone through. I had the joy of speaking with Molly Ann, the author, and she and Timothy today enjoy a very strong marriage and their children all have a strong faith in Christ. God has obviously brought much healing to this family. This book is a witness of the power and love of God when God's principles for life are followed.

Empathetic, Caring, and Powerful
If you have experienced the betrayal of spousal infidelity then this book is a must.Miller's vulnerability lets you know that you are not alone in the pain of this type of experience.She also provides some powerful healing tools for taking responsibility for yourself and dealing with the many challenging family issues that come up.
Miller writes openly as she shares her hurt, pain, faith, and hope.It is an easy and encouraging read.

Very insightful!
Though I have not experienced the particular problem that the book addresses, Ms. Miller's insights are clear and helpful in so many areas of life. I have worked on co-dependency issues for several years and grown a lot, but she has made certain recovery concepts more clear and simple than anyone else I have ever read! ... Read more

Book Description

The author of the bestselling Facing Codependence unravels the intricate dynamics of toxic love relationships and shows us how to let go of toxic love. In this revised and updated edition of Facing Love Addiction, internationally recognised dependence and addiction authority Pia Mellody clearly outlines the debilitating 'toxic' patterns played out by love addicts and the unresponsive love avoidants to whom they are painfully and repeatedly drawn.

Customer Reviews (40)

very good
i am still in the middle of it - taking my time to absorve all the info
its looks very clear and helpful so far
if you are doing cognitive therapy for love/sex addition i would recommend as material to discuss with your therapist

Who would have thought you could be addicted to love?
What a wonderful and important book this is.For years I wondered why I attracted the same person over and over, though with a different name and face.Why was I willing to give so much of myself for so little in return?Why was I willing to put up with so much to get treated so poorly?After reading this book, it all made sense...

At times I felt like she was writing just to me.The good news is that after describing me to a T, she offered me the hope and the way out.Without that I would have continued to just feel alone and victimized.Now, I understand what boundries are, what MY part in all this is, and how I can change to finally get what I want - a loving partnership with someone who loves and appreciates me.

If you're having trouble in relationships and feel like you have a bad "picker" - that you always seem to pick the wrong person - than this book is for you.Get it tonight!

Michael Z, author of The Wisdom of the Rooms "A Year of Weekly Reflections"

Spot on 100% from a love avoidant, amazing wow
I've never read something that so perfectly described my 20 year marriage, the cycles, just amazing, impossibly perfect, this will save my marriage, and future relationship(s) as well as people I share this with in a timely fashion, just amazing, perfect.Healing part, who cares, once the problems is identified, I can take it from there, w/counseling, for sure, and biggest problem is finding what's up!This tells you what's up in a 100% perfect manner.Wow!Finally the answers to this wierd nagging thing i've been pecking at solving for years.

opened my eyes
This book helped me to see my dangerous 'love addict' patterns that prevent me from having a fulfilling relationship.Men always think I'm sweet and kind, I didn't realize how much of a doormat I was allowing myself to be until I read this book and saw my patterns I've been living in the relationships I've had for tha last 12 years!
Now I am armed with knowledge about how destructive my love addict actions have been, I've joined a program suggested by this book and am on the road to my recovery.
One interesting pattern in this book is that of the love addict when they are involved with the love averse.My last relationship was with this type of man and it ended in absolute disaster and heartbreak.This book has given me insight and hope for one day being the "type" of person who will attract a genuine and loving man once I am healed and ready for the type of relationship I truly deserve.

Where is it, when will I get to read it.
This item has still not arrived, where is it please! I can't get through to anyone to find out where the hell it is. Help. ... Read more

Book Description
Our world is awash in sex. We are bombarded with it everywhere we turn--TV, newspapers and magazines, music, movies and the Internet. When this ever-present temptation mixes with human weaknesses and unmet needs, many get pulled into addiction to sexually sinful behavior. They may detest their own habits, but they can't seem to break free. Is there any hope?Russell Willingham speaks from his own experience and that of the many he has counseled. His answer? "Yes! There is hope. Jesus offers forgiveness and healing."True stories show how the principles in this book can be put into action. The essentials are spelled out in practical steps that can help people begin to break free. Willingham deals with such issues as

• what all addicts have in common
• the hunt of the malnourished heart
• where to find the courage to face the dark side
• wrestling with shame and grace
• the healing effect of radical honesty

Customer Reviews (16)

An excellent read
A great book that gets right to the issues at hand.I would recommend it to anyone I know, even if they are not directly affected by sexual addiction.

The title says it all
This book brings incredible perspective and hope to those that struggle with sexual sin.It has completely opened my eyes to new ways of looking at addiction.Breaking Free does not simply tell you how to stop, it teaches you why the problem exists in the first place.I would not recommend this however to atheists or those who find it uncomfortable to put their faith in God.For Christians however, this book is an amazing tool for those who are sexually broken and those who are married to men struggling with sexual addiction.

Breaking Free: Understanding Sexual Addiction & the Healing Power of Jesus
Great Book!!!
I Would recommend it to anyone who deals with sexual addiction!
Read it with your spouse and get more out of it and revitalize your marriage.
If u want to overcome sexual addiction this is the book!
I've read it 3x's,its an awesome book!!

Inside out
There are a lot of other books out there chopping down the weeds but Willingham gets a shovel and digs out the roots. This book nails it!

Excellent Christian book on Sex Addiction
The reason I liked this book so much is that the author,Russell Willingham, writes with grace and truth. He also comes from the unique perspective of healing through the power of Jesus Christ. Readers who struggle with sex addiction will be truly blessed with this book. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

I consider this an essential work
In all of my 12 years in ministry and my own journey for Wholeness in Christ, very few people have been able to simplify and illuminate the process of healing from what I hate to call "common" or "typical" sexual brokenness in our culture as Signa and Conlee. It is a dangerous time now for believers because we can grow so quickly numb to the bombardment of sexual distortions in our society. Even the other day I noticed Disney cartoons making sexual references that I wonder many believing parents would overlook or even laugh at. This book helped me and others to further our understanding for just how subtle evil is, yet how much God desires to heal and what that healing looks like. Please consider this book. If you are struggling with, have dealt with or are being tempted in any areas of pornography or living with someone who is, this book could seriously change your life. God bless. Comments welcome... (...) ... Read more

Book Description
It's 3:30 a.m. and Kevin is still online, absorbed in pornographic images flashing across his computer screen, and searching for more.Hours ago he tucked his children into bed and said good night to his wife, retreating to the computer to "finish up some work." Although his late night ritual leaves Kevin ashamed and exhausted, he is too embarassed and guild-ridden to seek help.He tells himself that no one would understand anyway.Anonymous and accessible, the Internet offers an alluring arena for compulsive sexual behavior.Destroyed marriages, career loss, and financial ruin are common outcomes.Revealing how desperate life can become for someone addicted to online sex, In the Shadows of the Net brings hope and healing to mena dn women struggling to understand and overcome this compulsive behavior.Drawing on their collective clinical expertise as well as current research, the authors equip readers with specific strategies for recognizing and recovering from compulsive online sexual behavior. "A valuable road map for understanding and healing cybersex addictions." Windy Maltz, M.S.W., author, The Sexual Healing Journey, and coauthor, Private Thoughts "In the Shadows of the Net shines a hopeful light on the dark side of cyberspace.It is certain to become a valued resource in dealing with a new frontier of addictive disorders.Kenneth M.Adams, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist, and author Silently Seduced "The authors Present a positive and effective approach to dealing with cybersex, a rapidsly increasing problem.In the Shadows of the Net is sure to become a classic in its field." Gary Blanchard, B.A., A.A.C., Addiction Counselor, and author, The Positive Path of Recovery "Very powerful.In the Shadows of the Net comes at a time when the need is great for understanding and exploring cybersex treatment possibiliites.Today Internet pornography is more powerful than Viagra for many persons.I shall definitely recommend this book to my patients." Ralph H.Earle, M.Div., Ph.D., Prseident, Psychological Counseling Services, Ltd., coauthor, Lonely All the Time. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (9)

This book covers it all
As the spouse of an internet-porn addict,this book explained exactly how I felt and helped me to understand how my spouse felt when he was trapped in the Net. The best part about this book is the explanation of how the difficult journey to freedom will be worth more than the temporary and ultimately devastating "high" that users are addicted to. It also shows users how this seemingly harmless pastime can lead users to become someone theydon't know or never thought they could become-doing things that stand against their own moral standards. It is brilliant.

Excellent Resource
This is a great resource for people dealing with online sexual compulsive addictions.Whether its you or someone you love, this book helps navigate through the confusion associated with the addictive behaviors.Many books just touch on the subject, but this one really focuses solely on the topic.It covers everything from diagnosis to recovery.Patrick Carnes is a straight forward, no nonsense Dr.The book is well written and a fast read, no need for a PhD in order to understand it. Finally a book that offers hope and relief!I'm greatful to have found it.

Excellent information; not enough to fight addiction
This is a fantastic book that takes the reader into a detailed explanatation of what this addiction really is.Mr. Carnes explains the factors and processes that affect the addict by also giving examples of behavior and describing patient's stories.For those trying to get a more comprehensive understanding of the addiction as well as the issues that prevent an addict from freeing him or herself of it, this book is excellent.

Just one note of caution:As much as this book as well as others by the same author are great resources, they are not enough.As with every addiction, there is a "cleansing" process that must be followed, and should be guided under the supervision of an experienced professional.Also, people in this addiction should seek a support group, such as the SLAA.

Help With Online Pornography Addiction
This book is up-to-date on a topic that until more recently went unrecognized as problematic.It can be beneficial for professionals working with a client population that participates in a variety of compulsive or addictive online sexual behaviors and who would like to reduce or eliminate these compulsions and addictive behaviors.It can also be recommended to clients for their own use.It helps in determining if a problem exists with use of a screening test, how to set up healthy boundaries, and help with relapse prevention.It can be especially beneficial when paired with a workbook on breaking free of compulsive online sexual behaviors.This book, by reputable authors, provides information & help designed especially for this population and for professionals attempting to help.

Good book, terrible problem.
This is a very useful book if you have a problem, or even think you might, with regard to compulsively searching for and/or using internet porn, chat rooms, etc.

I would also like to mention, in light of the fact that one of the authors, David Delmonico,Ph.D., lives here in Pittsburgh, that there is an active SLAA (Sex & Love Addicts Anonymous) that can help individuals break this addiction and find a new, happier, healthier way of living. It can be contacted through http://www.wpa-slaa.org

Readers in other areas can contact Fellowship Wide Services at [...]

To everyone reading this now, I'd just like to leave with the thought that life CAN get better. And you don't have to try and change for the rest of your life. You only have to try to do better for today.... ... Read more

Book Description
In our society, sex can easily become the price many women pay for love and the illusion of security. A woman who seeks a sense of personal power and an escape from pain may use sex and romance as a way to feel in control, just as an alcoholic uses alcohol; but sex never satisfies her longing for love and self-worth. In this wise and compassionate book, Charlotte Kasl shows women how they can learn to experience their sexuality as a source for love and positive power and sex as an expression that honors the soul as well as the body. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (15)

if you're sexually active in your dating relationships, this is for you
I, a single, never married, man in my mid-30s, am only partially through this book and am amazed and changed by it.In today's society of lies about sex and relationships, if you are breathing you will be able to find aspects of yourself and people you know and your/their sexuality in this book.It's not whether it's an addiction but whether a particular 'use' is addictive.What a profound concept!Everyone has either done this, had it done to them, or heard about it at least once.It is all around us all the time.It is our culture, at least in the US.Broadening the addictive use of sex to include 'uses' of flirtation, provocativeness, submission/domination and sadism/masochism, fantasy, e-mails/IMing, masturbation, and pornography, as well as full on sex, is clear, effective, and true.If you are sexually active in your dating relationships and wonder why it's not working out (most singles), this applies to you.Use it to understand yourself, your friends, your children.There are a lot of examples involving full-blown addicts, but there is also a lot about sexually acting out in any of the above ways and to any extent, and you can find yourself somewhere among the pages -- men and women, guaranteed.We are all so trained by everything around us to behave in this way.It is sad and destructive.I have used and been used, and picked up this book after three very hurtful experiences with women I really cared about.

A masterpiece which you cannot avoid buying
All of the Amazon reader and newspaper reviews of this book (and I have used the Book Review Index to find all of the book reviews) fail to do justice to this book, and the explanation is to be found in the book itself.This book is one of the most original and most important books ever written on addictions.The reason appears on pages xii, 393, and 378-9 of the Tichnor & Fields hardcover First Edition:

This book began by request: Kasl started working with groups of women and found that some brought copies of marginally useful books on sex addiction to group.Seeing the need for a book, Kasl began writing something for her group and had it copied for them.Then the grassfire began.She handed out seven copies of her book bound in a red binding (hence her book's first title prior to commercial publication "The Red Book").Several days later, forty women wanted copies and demand continued.A few months and a few bookstores later, thousands of copies were sold.Then the magic began: the groups changed her book and added to it because she listened to their voices.

I first got this book at a library and found that I had to buy a copy.Kasl says that her groups all found that the book is so packed with information that you want to read it a little at a time and think about it: not for nothing did so many women give Kasl feedback about her book.

I hope Kasl will publish future editions of this book with what used to be called in the nineteenth century an Analytical Table of Contents at the back of the book. Sally Vincent in her 25 May 1990 Psychology Today (page 36) book review entitled "Nymphos or Doormats" goes through the book adequately but an analytical table of contents would do a better job. And yes, as Vincent notes, about a third of the book deals with trying to readjust the self after all the abuse.But her review fails to convey the originality of the book and why it must be read.

Kasl asks readers--both women and men (there is a chapter on men because the book was written for women)--to write to her regarding their reactions to her book.I hope that someone will submit a book review that adequately summarizes this book, because I do not think that one can be written which conveys how good this book is.I have two copies of this book and expect to have my first copy rebound soon because I have worn the binding out with use.I am sure that you will have the same experience. Consider purchasing extra copies to give to friends, as I have: they will appreciate it.

Highly recommended by professional
I sometimes work with people who are struggling with codependent behavior or sexual addictions. This is the book I most often recommend and I also think it is a great reference for professionals such as psychologists, personal coaches and psychiatrists.

In one very good book, Charlotte Kasl provides an excellent, easy to understand model for understanding these issues and how to overcome them. She illustrates these principles with just the right amount of relevant case histories and does it without using a lot of jargon.

This book is solid, but very readable and the author develops her topic with deep compassion. If you are only going to buy one book on this subject, I would go with this one. If you are looking for an uplifting book to compliment it that is not just a restatement of what many other books already say, then I also suggest AWAKENING IN TIME by Jacuelyn Small. She takes a very spiritual which is a synthesis of many schools of thought both East and West perspectives.

Wonderful and private way to heal yourself from the inside!
Freedom from Relationship/ Co-Dependency/ Sexual Addictions is the greatest asset to this book.I started reading it when my relationship ended with a man I cared for.My bad relationship triggered many unrealistic emotions inside myself that caused me a lot of self damage by acting out and dating guys that were all bad for me because of my low self image since the break-up.
I couldn't see it at the time but I had become Addicted.

Thanks to a friend and this book my healing began two years ago and I feel so much better about myself and about my relationships with others.This book is a MUST READ!

Study it, learn it, then be well...

Not just for women!
This book is amazing.
It has been extremely helpful in understanding relationship behaviors. I would recommend it to both men and women.
Easy read. Good advice. Great examples.
Buy a copy. ... Read more

Book Description
Second Edition ... Read more

Customer Reviews (3)

Good "Starter" Book...
The book is comprehensive, well-researched, and well-presented. I did learn a lot from the book, and I would recommend this book to other people beginning recovery from SA. The book talks about the ten types/stages of courtship and how sexual addiction can affect an addict, so you can diagnose yourself and where you're having difficulties from the charts. It also talks about how slips are like boulders falling off a hill, and there's a great illustration to explain that and how bottomlines can help you.

What was missing for me, and hence the 4 stars, was the lack of content regarding "Relationship Recovery" part. There isn't much indication on how to go about dating the right way for S&L addicts - for example, if you saw the chart and realized you have problems with "seduction" phase of the courtship, you know you have this, but the book doesn't help you to revert this, or suggest what you're supposed to do with the diagnosis, other than "abstinence".

I would say this is a great resource for Sex Addicts in Recovery, but if you are a Sex AND Love Addict in recovery - this book won't fulfill all your needs. I don't know; perhaps Carnes has written a separate book for Love Addiction that I haven't checked out yet.

I would say I'm about 85% satisfied with the information provided by the book, and roughly 70% satisfied with the purchasing of this book.

Facing Reality
Dr. Carnes is a noted authority and perhaps the premier researcher in the area of sexual addiction.His work goes back easily some twenty years.I have studied with Dr. Carnes and I can say with some authority that this may be his finest work.It is the fruit of much thought and labor.It is reality.Carl Rogers said:"Until we can accept ourselves as we really are we can't change."This book, really a work book, helps the addicted person do just that.But it doesn't stop there.The addict is able to see through the work he does that he is able, through healthy activities, to regain control of his life.This is the second edition.Dr. Carnes demonstrates not only his high standards of authorship, but his humility and ability to accept constructive criticism both from within himself and I think perhaps others, in the changes he has put into this second edition.They are well worth the effort.Dr. Carnes comes at the sexual addiction issue with clarity, research, and above all empathy.His other work "The Recovery Zone,"will I think prove to be as well received as this work.

Roger L. Johnson
M.A, Th.M. LPC
Director, Day Program
Meier Clinics

super workbook in tandem with group therapy
Working through this with group therapy has been wonderful and life changing. Cannot recommend it highly enough. Get Carnes' other books as well. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (3)

Understanding and Closure
I read The Final Freedom by Douglas Weiss.To my surprise I was really moved by his book.I purchased this book because I personally know Mr. Weiss.What kept my interest was the fact that I had some issues that needed explaining that I thought I handled myself a long time ago.I was wrong.When I finished reading his book, I cried because I now understood that what happened to me a long time ago was not my fault.It was like Mr. Weiss took a hugh weight off of my shoulders that I didn't realize I was still carrying around.This is truly a great book .I now have the closure I needed.I have a healed heart.Thank you Doug Weiss.

Excellent overview - good place to begin
I appreciate his focus on the 12 Step process. He stays completelyaway from moralizing and shaming. The center of his book is the souce ofall healing - the Creator - and our getting past our own guilt and shamethrough a step-by-step development of a relationship with God. No bones, nopreaching, nothing but solid Grace. Lots of encouragement. Written from theheart of a recovering person. The only thing that could improve the bookwould be to have better proof reading. A bit much dependance on spellcheck. Otherwise - excellent book. Thank God for someone with the courageto heal and to share his healing and experience with those of us seekingthe pathway to Final Freedom.

Great introduction to understanding the problem
This book has been invaluable as a first step at understanding this destructive problem. It does have a great resource list.But, the content represents just the tip of the iceberg.Would have liked more practicalinformation on family involvement and how to discuss the problem with theaddict. Some of the treatment recommendations may be difficult to relate tofor those of us who are non-religious people. ... Read more

Book Description
A Crucial resource for sex therapists, who until now had no rigorous study of the effect of online pornography on the patients they treat. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

For all men in denial; or, "It's Really Not About A Simple, Inconsequential Preference"
The book is a special issue of a mental health field journal concerning sexual addiction and compulsivity.As such, men in denial will, of course, instantly conclude that such professionals are biased.

Online pornography is a growing social issue.As a psychotherapist, I am concerned about its surreptitious use in relationships by partners who deceive and manipulate their unsuspecting, significant others, permitting damage to the latter's self-esteem, confidence, and ultimately, destroying the meaning of intimacy.The articles contained in this compilation represent attempts at capturing the issue quasi-empirically via field data, providing conceptual and reality-based frameworks to both quantify and qualify the damaging effects of porn on people.

I don't recommend this book for the non-professional as an initial reading source, but I would for those who would like to look the other way by dismissing the significance of porn.It might, therefore, be a good read for the porn user.Including his friends, colleagues, and parents, educated or otherwise, who may be disturbed at the choice of their loved one, but willing to dismiss its long-term effects on the person and the partners he hurts.

Maybe it takes a village - maybe it's time to start speaking out when one knows that a loved one is contorting his thinking, attitudes, and behavior with the basest of acts.

As researchers, the authors follow a codified format, presenting results of their findings, summary of pre-existing background knowledge, and discussion of their results. Given the paucity of research and the great disinclination to acknowledge that this problem exists, such a journal could exert positive influence by attracting attention, always the first step in a social issue. ... Read more

Book Description
Coming soon as a Lifetime Television original movie with Sally Pressman, star of Army Wives.

In this powerful memoir, a woman learns to value herself-as a whole person rather than as a sexual object. Sue William Silverman tells of her rollercoaster life of sex and self-destructive behavior. Finally, addicted to danger itself, she seeks the help of a trusted therapist to discover what love really means. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (17)

Interesting But Somehow Incomplete

Sue William Silverman's LOVE SICK is the author's first person account of her experience as a sex addict. This book written by an amateur writer wanting to share her experiences could have been excruciating. Silverman, however, is clearly a professional author, and the book is written professionally. She presents her work in segments which alternate between the retelling of episodes from her years of sexual addiction and her rehab hospitalization, in her early 40s, as she finally makes an attempt to overcome her addiction and at the same time to save her life. I feel there are both positives and negatives in the book.

On the positive side, Silverman presents herself in an honest and open manner. This is commendable as it must have been very difficult to provide to a readership of strangers the truly painful details of most of her life; although it also seems to be a part of her recovery program.
Also, I gained a lot of understanding about sexual addiction, one of the most intersting points being that, according to Silverman, she and apparently many other addicts do not actually enjoy sex; rather the addiction seems to be more about the feeling that being able to attract someone sexually validates to the addict that he or she is attractive and worthwhile. And, I confess to some personal ignorance. I was never really sure that sexual addiction was actually a real phenomenon, having believed to a great extent that it was merely a convenient excuse used by people caught cheating on their significant others. After having read LOVE SICK I no longer doubt the reality of sexual addiction.

On the negative side, the writing, though professional as I mentioned, seems somewhat histrionic. I realize that this subject is highly and painfully emotional to Silverman, but from a reader's perspective I would have preferred a little less drama and more straight reporting, particularly in the segments dealing with the author's month in rehab. The parts of the book (probably two-thirds of it) which deal with Silverman's hospital experience become repetitive. I imagine that the days themselves of her stay were quite repetitve, but that does not translate particularly interestingly to a written account.

To summarize,I found this book, while informative and intersting at times, to be somewhat dramatically overblown at others; and it became repetitive enough that I skimmed the hospital scenes over the last half of the book. Not bad, not real good, 3 stars.

This is a terrible book
I usually do not write book reviews, but I thought it was important to add a review of this book so that other people don't waste their money.This is the worst book I have ever read on addiction.Basically, the author describes her pain regarding her sexual addiction and describes scenerios she encountered in detail.The book reads more like [...] than a self-help manual.If you are looking for a self-help text or a text to assist patients with this problem, this is definitely not the right text!!!!!

Courageous and Compassionate
Review of Love Sick: One Woman's Journey Through Sexual Addiction by Sue William Silverman (Norton, 2001) Memoir. ISBN: 0-393-01957-8

What is sexual addiction? How does one recover from this addiction? Sue William Silverman answers these questions in her heartbreaking and heartwarming autobiography. Even if a reader does not experience an addiction of any kind, no time is wasted while reading the book because the prose is so expertly crafted.

In her first book Because I Remember Terror, Father, I Remember You, (University of Georgia Press, 1996) Sue William Silverman writes about the childhood sexual abuse she experienced. She had an incestuous father and a complicit mother. The tragedy of incest leaves any child feeling that she is unlovable, and the confusion that sex equals love. The incest was woven with the elements of secrecy, danger, and destruction. In Love Sick, Sue shows the reader how those elements became a blueprint for her relationships.

As with any addiction, sexual addiction is a narrow one-dimensional drive serving only to feed itself. Sue was starved for real love as a child, so she uses unhealthy behaviors to search for love; she literally does not know better because she was not shown unconditional care. In college, she is caught in an affair with an emotionally unavailable married man, who has a son her own age. She also meets (for sex) a random obscene phone caller who is a stranger. Incest leaves the victim with instinct askew, so Sue literally believes that this strange caller was meant to meet her to show her how loveable she really is. Sue later marries Andrew, and confesses: "I first had sex with Andrew while married to someone else." Andrew is unable to comprehend Sue's turmoil except in terms of how it affects her role as his wife. He says, "I'm tired of shouldering all the responsibility. She could at least try to get a job teaching..."

Sue's primary responsibility becomes recovery from childhood abuse and its ramifications. After trial and error therapy with ten counselors, Sue meets a therapist named Ted. He learns that Sue cannot will herself to stop seeing yet another married man, even while she is married to Andrew. Ted says, "Love doesn't result in sitting alone in motel rooms. Addiction results in sitting alone in motel rooms." Ted encourages Sue to enter a facility with a program for sex addicts. Sue learns that she is as much a predator (searching for love via sex) as she is a victim. She writes, "I am not your victim because you are not a predator any more than a bottle of scotch stalks an alcoholic." That sentence offers enlightening information regarding the vicious cycle of addictions. Sue offers the reader reasons to have compassion for those struggling with sexual addiction by giving us glimpses into the psyches of others in the facility. During the recovery program, Sue searches her soul for genuine feelings that are not in context with a man.

As an author and advocate, I read this book twice: once to become informed about sexual addiction (or any addiction) in reference to victims of abuse, and again for the creative writing that Sue William Silverman is so keenly able to craft.

a courageous woman with an important message
I stumbled upon this book by accident and am very glad I did. Even though I don't have this addiction that Sue Silverman describes, I still find it a fascinating account. For one thing, addiction, in general, is such a part of our culture, that Silverman is, in a way, describing more than "one woman's journey."She describes the way so many of us live addicted lives, regardless of the addiction. The book is also beautifully written. She's a real writer. She is also a role model, showing the way for how the rest of us might live more spiritually and more humanly. I hope many, many people read this compelling memoir.

Can't swallow the underlying assumption about the 12 step cure
Sorry, but I disagree with some of the other reviewers. I could not enjoy this book. If it were more explicit about the sex scenes, it might be successful erotica. But the sex is portrayed as being "bad" for the main character.

In order to appreciate her story, you have to first swallow the underlying assumption that the "12 step" method will work to cure a sexual "addiction." Fact is, this woman was sexually abused as a child, and that why she's been acting out sexually ever sinc