Customer Reviews (2)

it is a good start to solve one of the biggest problems
Thank you Dr. Goodman for trying to give an initial solution to the huge problem of sexual addiction, it is a hard and difficult subject to treat & explain; however, I think that some extra sections on spirituality,moral convictions and the relevance of believing in God and leading &practicing a normal Christian life (both internally & externally) tohave also a good marital life and to be able to control the sexualaddiction so much advertise on TV, MOVIES, BOOKS and almost everywhere, Ithink it also helps to put more emphasis on the good balanced moral &spiritual life of the persons to be able to fight against addictions ingeneral, as Dr. Chopra mentions in his book on adddiction that the THOUGHcauses the DESIRE and then the desire causes the action of the addictivebehavior. Many people would appreciate if Dr. Goodman could include theseextra topics in your next bood on sexual addiction, because there is stilla lot of terrain to cover. Thank you very much Dr. Goodman for a good starton a topic that needed to be addressed urgently worldwide.

Scholarly, comprehensive approach to sexual addiction.
This work proves itself to be a substantial addition to the expandingfield of literature on sexual addiction theory and treatment.This is ascholarly and meticulous presentation designed for careful review byclinicians rather than by the general public.It is likely to beparticularly well-received by psychiatrists and others of psychoanalyticaltraining who may not have a full appreciation for some of the more popularauthors in the field.It will admirably serve the additional purpose ofintroducing psychoanalytic theories of sexual deviancy to the clinician whomay not be strongly grounded in this approach.

The book starts with athorough review of the issues surrounding the terminology of sexualaddiction, including the clinical arguments for and against classifyingsuch behavior as either addictive, obsessive-compulsive or impulsive.Itthen reviews etiological theories of sexual addiction, includingbiological, sociocultural, cognitive-behavioral, and psychoanalytic, thelatter of which occupies almost a quarter of the book.The author notesthat this emphasis is designed in part to address the fact thatpsychodynamic psychotherapy "is given little attention by more contemporaryapproaches to treating sexual addiction....."

Dr. Goodman's extensivelydocumented and intelligently presented approach then integrates thebiological and psychological understandings of addictive disorders ingeneral and sexual addiction in particular.According to this theory, "theaddictive process originates in an impairment of the self-regulationsystem......(which) leads individuals to depend on external actions toregulate their subjective states....."Explanation is given of the threemain components of this self-regulation system: affect regulation,self-care, and self-governance functions.Behavioral implications ofimpairments in each of these functional areas are then explored in somedetail.

Turning to issues of the diagnosis and epidemiology of sexualaddiction, Goodman addresses differential diagnostic issues, prevalencerates and comorbidity issues.The rest of the book focuses on treatmentmodalities, including medication (both antiandrogenic and affect-regulatingagents); behavior modification (including aversion conditioning, covertsensitization, imaginal desensitization); cognitive-behavioral therapies;groups; couples therapy and psychodynamic psychotherapy.

Goodman'sintegrated treatment involves addressing "both the addictive sexualbehavior and the underlying addictive process", bringing together all ofthe above components of treatment into "one theoretically coherent,clinically unified approach."It is here that the book moves from thetheoretical to the imminently practical, reviewing behavioral symptommanagement such as relapse prevention (including risk-recognition,urge-coping, and slip-handling), and psychodynamic psychotherapy (includinghelping clients to understand, integrate and internalize insights andself-regulatory functions that lead to adaptive rather than symptomaticbehavior).

After examining the relationship between behavioral symptommanagement and psychotherapy, the author offers a useful approach tointegrating pharmacotherapy into the overall treatment of sexuallyaddictive behavior.Countertransference is touched upon, as are cautionsabout limited outcome measures which complicate prognosis.The lastsection of the book addresses illustrative clinical vignettes showing howan integrated treatment approach is tailored to a variety of cases.

Thisbook earns its place among the top shelf of titles worth reading byclinicians wishing to ground themselves in theory and practice strategiesfor the treatment of sexually addictive behavior.With fifty pages ofreferences, it serves admirably as a coherent, theory-driven approach whichadds order and intellectual rigor to a subject that is complex and remainsinadequately conceptualized.While far from being able to serve as adefinitive text, this book lays out an important framework for futureoutcomes-oriented research ... Read more

Product Description
A Crucial resource for sex therapists, who until now had no rigorous study of the effect of online pornography on the patients they treat. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

Who Are Interested In The Internet As A Social Phenomenon
"Al Cooper, Ph.D., is Director of the San Joe Marital and Sexuality Center in San Jose, California, and Training Program Coordinator for the Cowell Student Health Center's Counselling and Psychological Services at Stanford University.

Dr. Cooper is a Certified Sex Therapist and Sex Therapy Supervisor, and is a member of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT).
He is widely recognized as one of the leading researchers, authors, and experts in the growing area of Internet sexuality.
He has been called the "Masters and Johnson of Cyberspace."

".....This groundbreaking examination of cybersex was originally published as a special issue of the journal Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity.
It is a crucial resource for sex therapists, who until now had no rigorous study of the effect of online pornography on the patients they treat.

It will also be of great interest to general marriage and family therapists who find themselves dealing with this issue with their clients, as well as others WHO ARE INTERESTED IN THE INTERNET AS A SOCIAL PHENOMENON."
[fron the book of the back cover] ... Read more

Product Description
YIKES! The original manuscript was reviewed by an Atlanta PhD. and sexologist who commented: "Some of this is very good, especially the Ode. But it's half-baked. Also you don't need to go to a priest for help. Yes, I do think you may be Bi-sexual." * * * Others have said:"Whew, just awful, a stream of consciousness that is very upsetting. I wouldn't buy it anyprice!" - A Catholic Priest and Author. "Somebody had to do it." A girl at Kinko's. "I was just getting it on and then it turned me off." A former truck driver. * * * The book is in two themes: the first is an embellished narrative with graphic intermission. The second is a play with the Freudian characters of the Ego, Superego and Id narrating a truer, less embellished version that is somewhat preachy and moralistic. The intent of the book remains a mystery. Although as an aging, still sexually confused person, I hope it may speak a message of hope. Finally, the genre is one that a male or female can really relate to having experienced similar drives, desires and imaginings that have not been expressed so graphically or truly. "Yeah, I tried that, and thought about it. I would never tell anybody because I would turn purple and die of shame." ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

Dick Management-- A 21st Century Issue
Dick Management is one the most significant issues of the 231st century. Any reading that one can do on this subject and its relation to pornography is important.

Sean O'Reilly
author of How to Manage Your DICK ... Read more

Product Description
Living a Life I Love:(tm) Healing sexual compulsivity, sexual addiction, sexual avoidance and other sexual concerns is designed to help you create a life you love in the area of sexuality. The workbook will help you understand your "acting out cycle" by identifying your high-risk situations, feeling triggers and thinking errors. The workbook has three stages: 1.Problem identification: During this stage, you examine your sexual behaviors, sexual history and acting out cycle. 2.Primary treatment addresses factors linked with unhealthy sexual behaviors.3.Creating your future: The third stage will help you reach out for support and encouragement. You'll complete a personal definition of sexual health to help you live a life you love. ... Read more

Product Description

Customer Reviews (17)

Could have done without the gay sex true stories
He hardly said anything about football in this book which ticked me off, and because he played football that's the only reason why I checked the book out of the library from jump street. It was actually a decent book but even for a mature 27 year old like myself, the gay sex stories were too much for me to handle. But I figured since I started the book I might as well finish it. This book was sad because he just could not get himself out of trouble, its like trouble just kept finding him or he tried to find trouble. He was a very nasty and uncouth man in his younger years, and a person reading this book can only learn what the trouble that is ahead if they kept having too much sex with different people and using drugs and drinking at the same damn time.

He became HIV positive because of the life he lived. When he got the news that he was HIV positive he wasn't even surprised because he knew what the hell he was doing back in the day. And then his lack of relationship with his daughter was a shining by-product of his dangerous lifestyle. This book was more than an autobiography, it was therapy for Simmons to write the book to get all his past ill-doings out into the open. And it was a learning peace for someone who is or is thinking about being a nymphomaniac and drug user.

Read this book at your own risk, but even if you do YOU WILL LEARN SOMETHING.

GotA Little Tiring
This book kept my attention and I was anxious to read it---but after Roy turned into a druggie, it got kind of boring. One slip up after another, making feeble attempts to stop.I got to the point where I was hoping he'd OD and die.Put him out of his misery. I find it rather strange that he uses all kinds of bad language and is rather descriptive in describing some of his sexual trysts,yet he gets religion in the book.It certainly didn't do anything to clean up his mouth.And now that he has found religion, is he claiming he's "cured" of being gayand finds it wrong and that it was a big mistake?The book doesn't say and there isn't much follow up available over the internet so I guess Roy's vanished into society.If he's been "cured" and now condemns homosexuality, I would be VERY upset with him, saying that he only used this book for profit.He was pro-gay through the book. I'm not saying he has to become a spokesman for the gay community or take up AIDS causes, but I think he has to remain true to himself and admit being gay.I also kind of got the implication that after he was outed and found religion, that he kind of used his being raped by a male neighbor as his 'excuse' for being homosexual, which I think is a big cop-out.He even admits he liked it and was interested in other guys at this same time.Is it who he's talking to at the time or is he consistent with his truth.Being the liar and self centered louse he was in the book, I do wonder.

Little about football, but a lot about addictive behavior
I found this book in my "to be read" pile from several years ago. How it managed to fall to the bottom (or pushed aside), I'm sure I don't know. Nonetheless, I'm glad I read it.

The construction of the book is problematic, but definitely not fatal. Much of it seems episodic in nature, but that's not unexpected. Mr. Simmons (and his co-authors) is trying to tell a highly fascinating story in a few hundred tight pages. Given the fact that he was often under the influence, it's not surprising the book reads as disjointed scenes of an extraordinary journey. I suspect the NFL angle is designed to drive the narrative, but football (during college and in the NFL) plays second fiddle to the star of this book: Mr. Simmons and his drug addiction. I was intrigued by the last quarter of the book as Mr. Simmons repeatedly got on the wagon and repeatedly fell off; the things he did to support his drug habit; and how badly he treated his friends and family members: over and over and over, again.

Intellectually, I understand drug addiction, but it's not something I ever want to experience and I have considerable empathy for those who are in recovery. What I took away from his story is that every minute of every day is an ongoing struggle to conquer the addition.

one of the best book ..that even layed my hands on, buy it if you can ...you will love it..
this is one of those book that after you read it ..that it juststay with you ..days, months , years later...it`s sad ,happy and funny, all at the same time..after time ..i found a tears rolling down my face ..i`d just love it..i would buy this book again...

Lust, Love & Lies
We truly take our hats off to Roy Simmons for his honesty in coming out about his addiction, sexual abuse and his life of love, lust and lies in the NFL closet.In this eye-opening Autobiography Out Of Bound, Roy Simmons, known as " The Sugar Bear", talks about his life as a football player, playing for the New York Giants, Washington Redskins and USFL Jacksonville Bulls.Roy Simmons, a man who had it all was at the top of his profession.He was making tons of money and loved by thousands of fans, fell from grace.

Though Roy had a promising career as a NFL football player, like so many others, he allowed himself to be seduced into the world of drug-addiction. He followed in the footsteps of his teammates, refused to deal with his homosexuality, and forced himself to forget an unspeakable event that involved him being raped as a child by a respectable neighbor and was in denial about his sex addictions which was the cause of his down fall."It's amazing how he did not realize that his rape would trigger a future chain of events in his later years of countless promiscuity".

Torn between his high school sweetheart; Sheila, who later became the mother of his daughter, and Joe, the only man he ever truly loved, he manage to lose them both, by letting his selfishness and his addiction interfered.

After leaving the NFL and trying to make a life for himself, Roy goes from "Sugar to Shit".He continued to indulge heavily into drugs and alcohol and became more and more self-destructive.His life became unmanageable and spirals out of control.As the drugs and the alcohol takes over his life, he became violent, desperate and starts to prostitute himself. Eventually, Roy winds up on welfare.

As you continue to read this book, you will learn more and more about the great Roy Simmons, the Ex NFL football player.In this book, Roy shares his days of free basing, smoking crack, his time in prison and being HIV- Positive Roy even talks about dressing up in drag; yes dressing up in drag.

We found it truly remarkable for a man like Roy to encounter so many chances in life... just when you think he has hit rock-bottom, somehow he bounces back.It's amazing to discover how such a lucky man was not able to learn from his mistakes. Roy was definitely a man who had more than nine lives

So whether you're a Roy Simmons fan, a recovering addict, bi-sexual, or just plan old confused about who you are, Out Of Bounds teaches you a powerful lesson about the truth.... Remember, you can run, but you can't hide from the truth because in the end, the truth will always set you free.So we urge you to go out and get this book and delve into the un-restful soul of Mr. Roy Simmons.


... Read more

Product Description
At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry is a thorough andpenetrating examination of sexual addiction. It draws back the curtainand exposes the inner workings of sexual sin in the heart, which theauthor understands, having lived in the bondage of it himself for overtwelve years. He is not presenting theories or opinions, but thebiblical answers that have worked in his own life and in the lives ofhundreds of men he has personally discipled since 1986.

At the Altar of Sexual Idolatry does not contain the worn outexplanations, humanistic solutions, or superficial answers that havebeen prevelant during the last decade. Sexual addiction is a spiritualproblem that requires solutions with spiritual depth. What ispresented in this book is firmly rooted in Scripture and always pointsthe man to Jesus Christ as the ultimate answer to his problem. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (30)

At The Alter Of Sexual Idolatry
This book has cleared things up for this guy. Any man who has trouble with
porn or women needs to read this book and do what God say. I highly advise
that pastors add this book to their resources. This book is outstanding for
what it shares for men or boy's to do in case their slaves to porn and it's
grip on men in our times

Key to your Sanctification - A Thorough Examination of Sexual Sin and How to Overcome It
This book deals with sexual sin of all types. It does an excellent job of presenting each type of sin in the same light. It plays no favorites. It doesn't set up any particular style of sexual sin as "The Really Bad One". This is crucial to understanding the truth about repentance and the Grace of God. When we can see our sin, as simply sin, the same thing Jesus died for, we find ourselves strangely empowered to repent and trust in the mercy of God.

It doesn't matter if you struggle with pornography, adultery, homosexuality, prostitution, or even pedophilia. The path of repentance always leads to the same place: the foot of the Cross. This book wonderfully portrays that.

This book has been key to my own transformation and I highly recommend it.

Unhealthy logic from a subpar writer
I acquired this book several years ago when I should have been living life.All it should take is a high school education to realize that this man is not talented, and the only reason for his success are the in-cult cronies from the Penetecostal church who would buy this garbage.I particularly enjoy the section where he assumes that all homosexuals are sex hungry fiends and nothing else.A blatant lack of statistics to back up his claims (which are upheld by hearsay and assumptions) should raise a red flag to anyone.If you believe the world is flat, buy this book.

Life Changing!
This is life changing material.I strongly recommend this to everyone.Some of us need it for ourselves and the rest of us need it so we can help others.

good for going in faith
This book is very well written. I gives a great insight into one of the largest fastest growing problems in our country today. I fell that every christian man should read it. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

HARD HITTING TRANSPARENT HEALING TOOL
I found this book to be a great balanced read for any man that has been wounded sexually. A friend of mine recommended this book to me as a great reference for healing and walking through some tough areas.

The author really bases true freedom and wholeness on the work of God and a willingness of the individual to submit to this process willingly.
A definite useful book for the healing tool belt.

Andre J Benjamin
Author
CONQUER THE RECESSION
www.conquertherecession.net

A Great Book!!!
When I read a Christian book I generally look for one of three experiences:to be challenged by good Bible teaching, to learn from someone else's practical experience, or to read an author who can help me to better hear from the Holy Spirit.In Sexual Healing I found all three.The book was more than just information; it was an encounter with the Living God.I liked it so much I read it three times.I also plan to read it again at some time in the future.

David Kyle Foster is a man who has experienced the difficulty of living the Christian life while recovering from severe sexual addiction and homosexuality.He writes heartfelt words based on his experience.Perhaps my favorite part of his book is that although he presents a tremendous amount of excellent information, he also recognizes that only the Holy Spirit can reveal to a person the exact details of their particular problem.This closely matched my experience in recovering from my own issues.Sexual Healing has been a great help to me, and I am sure it will be for many others also.
... Read more

Product Description
"One of us must die," is the mantra of Lee Thames, a bi-polar, sexually driven woman who, additionally, suffers from multiple personality disorder. She escapes from a mental hospital, where she was confined after an unsuccessful suicide attempt, and spends a reflective five hours, hiding in her home, preparing for the 'perfect murder.' She takes the reader on a rough ride, with her multiple personalities, through an abusive childhood, raging sexual encounters with multiple partners, and life threatening outbursts that culminate in the act she is preparing to commit ... Read more

Customer Reviews (25)

Is it a light at the end of a tunnel of darkness or an oncoming train?
I read "In and Out of Madness" by N.L. Snowden and could not put it down once I started it.As others have stated the book opens with Lee having escaped from a mental hospital after a suicide attempt.Once she reaches her home, she plots ways to kill Joe, her ex, speaks to her daughter-the one bright light of her life and reminisces about a life lived that has brought her to this point where she teeters on the edge of murder.
Her grandmother sexually abuses her while her mother does not believe her.The affects of childhood sexual abuse and the frequent disbelief of "trusted adults" often makes these devastating experiences even worse on a child who is made to feel that they are liars, who are made to get "the switch" and should be there just to please.
Lee suffers through two horrific marriages, split personality disorder, suicide attempts and sexual deviance.The one bright light is her daughter, Jolly who keeps her going through much of the darkness.
As other reviewers have mentioned, the author also takes responsibility for much of her behavior and admits that there came a time where she could have done things differently.That is one area I especially enjoyed about the book."Lee" is a person who has had terrible things happen to her but she has found the courage to crawl towards the light.
While it is a book that was hard to put down, it was at parts a difficult read.However, it's well worth the time and the effort and you will be better for having read it.

From A Friend's Point of View
When a long time friend shows you a new accomplishment, there is always the concern that you will have to fake a favorable response just to be polite.When I was just a few pages into N. L. Snowden's book, I was thrilled by my enthusiasm and interest. I actually had to ration my reading so that I didn't read the book straight through in one evening!I was amazed at how she was able to infused descriptions of profound anguish and pain with a sense of real drive to find a point of resolution and peace in life, rather than surrendering to the darkness of suicide.I thought that her shifts of time and place were masterful.....never was I left wondering about "when and where".Her book and her life are simply amazing accomplishments in spite of illness and adversity.When can we expect another book?

Iris in the darkest hour
11 O'clock will never get here! I really enjoyed reading Ms. Snowden's account of a twisted mind...never letting go, never backing down. This story hit home in so many places, if not in my life, then in someone I knows life. Betrayal is that knife that twists in your gut, and makes your heart scream with terror, realizing that your world has imploded and there is nothing you can do about it...but get the gun. This book explaines so many things about everyday life, from sexual addiction, abuse, and all out insanity, to the turning point...love. Love can overcome madness, I've seen it first hand, it is there, in every Iris,every child, every tear. This is my first time writting a review on a book, so I hope that you feel my honesty when I say this book is a must have! N.L. Snowden will be on my list forever more.

Master of Words - Chilling Portrait of Consequences of Child Abandonment
"N. L. Snowden has written an incredible account of a woman tormented by mental illness in her riveting new debut novel, In and Out of Madness. Once you begin reading, you will not be able to put the book down until you have finished it! The author is a master of her words, carefully guiding you along on her painful, sex-filled, deluded journey. Her words mimic the delicate brush-strokes of a seasoned painter, giving you both highs and lows, yet all working together to provide a vivid, chilling portrait of the life and struggle of Lee Thames, the narrative's central character. The book is an accurate account of some destructive consequences of neglect and abandonment as a child, along with being subjected to inappropriate, abnormal childhood sex.Shocking in its detail, the book ultimately shows you the triumph of the human spirit, despite any circumstance."

In and Out of Madness
This page turner is not for the faint of heart but it is a thrilling read for those with the courage to follow the the path of this wild ride which is aptly named :
IN AND OUT OF MADNESS.In and Out of Madness (Volume 1) ... Read more

Product Description
In therapy, as in the world at large, sexuality is different from other issues because of the culturally imposed secrecy and shame that inhibit open, non-defended talk about it. Anne Stirling Hastings, Ph.D., who specializes in treating the overlapping sexual problems of abuse, addiction, and dysfunction, encourages clinicians to recognize and overcome their own shame as a precondition to eliciting and advancing their clients' awareness. The need to heal from sexual shame, both cultural and idiosyncratic, underlies the healing of all other forms of sexual distress, dysfunction, abuse, and addiction. In people inhibited from experiencing natural interest in/arousal by a partner, shame makes imperatives of fantasy and pornography and leads to the linkage of sex with things non-sexual. Masturbation, homosexuality, the unconventional paraphilias,here dubbed "cross-wirings," and the dynamics of flirtations, jealousy, and extramarital affairs, all get a new look through Dr. Hastings' lens of shame as concomitant cause and effect of sexual behaviors. Case histories animate her salutary and unusually accessible corrective. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (3)

Too Basic and Too Politically Correct
I was expecting a book that would be more detailed. I was hoping to find new information on a highly overlooked subject. Instead what I found was a book written for a certain audience. I could not help but feel that this audience, is the very same audience, that enjoys the agendas that are shoved down our throats by marketing departments and television program directors.

This is a topic (shame research) that is becoming important within the psychological community for good reason. Shame, we are discovering, is playing a much larger part in our lives than we had currently estimated.

I was hoping this text would have some examples of the latest findings within the field of shame research, but I was disappointed.

I do not consider this author an authority. I consider this author a writer of popular culture....I found many of her comments to be shame-based. Particularly the comments that reflect current sexual counseling techniques, practiced by specialists, like our author.

I would also like to mention that this book contains little regarding treatment. I feel this is a good thing considering the lack of real knowledge on the subject written.

....

Interesting but subjective and anecdotal
Well written and readable with good case vignettes and courageous use ofthe writer's autobiography. It is apparently directed at other therapistsbut offers some embarassingly (now why did I pick that word?)elementaryinformation about such matters as anatomy, so that at times she seems to beaddressing a general readership. She is uncritical about some of hersources eg "Acupuncture directly works on the energy channels"and disdains statistical evidence. There is an index and references but noattempt to completely review the literature and other viewpoints aredismissed without full evaluation. On the whole I would recommend it toanyone working in the field but would want a neophyte to read a few otherrhings.

Relevent for therapists dealing with any aspect of sexuality
This is a useful book in the evolving dialogue that reflects the level of wisdom emerging in the field of sexuality recovery.Hastings addresses theoverlapping fields of sex therapy, sex abuse recovery, and sex addictionrecovery, noting how therapists in one field may have only passingknowledge of the others.Hastings continues her championing of liberationfrom shame as the key to growth in all of these related areas.As shesuccinctly writes, "shame needs to be elicited so that it can bedischarged", and examples of this approach are abundant.She makesgood sense in describing the unhealthy culture in which our repressions andaddictions take root."Healing sexuality is far more than healingsexual problems", and the author gives numerous examples of distortedthinking and goals in sexual expression.Helpful analysis of flirting andjealousy highlight the maturity of Hastings' approach.Sometimes this bookseems directed for clients, other times for therapists.The specificchapters detailing clinical issues (countertransference, arousal in thetherapeutic setting, limit setting, therapist self-exploration and healing,for example) make this a particularly useful book for all counselors. There are quite a few case vignettes and examples of therapist questions touse with clients.A solid and admirable work that will benefit manytherapists and the clients they serve. ... Read more

Product Description
This discussion evolves around the fact that a sexual addict needs to understand there is hope for recovery from his/her addiction by reading Bible, having faith in God and realizing that His love is unconditional. ... Read more

Product Description
In our society, sex can easily become the price many women pay for love and the illusion of security. A woman who seeks a sense of personal power and an escape from pain may use sex and romance as a way to feel in control, just as an alcoholic uses alcohol; but sex never satisfies her longing for love and self-worth. In this wise and compassionate book, Charlotte Kasl shows women how they can learn to experience their sexuality as a source for love and positive power and sex as an expression that honors the soul as well as the body. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (20)

This book explains it all.
I have had trouble with a friend whom I expect has a problem with sex addiction and that is why I purchased this book.So far, I have read only the first 30 pages and already I can see that I have the right book.I can see all the behaviors and their explanations laid out right in front of me.I think this book is just the right tool to help me understand the problems that confront me.

cried in thefirst 50 pages
This book might have been written awhile ago butI read every single word..there wasnot a false note in it.I felt shewas revealing what i had not knownabout myself for mywhole life.I criedI took notesi underlinedwords phrase all paragraphs Iwant to show my children.Maybe then they can understan why I was the way I was with them growing up..It explained meIwill read it again .. to m ake it sink in... 10 stars if possible...it touched medeeply.......

Extremely informative & educational for women in recovery from addictive substances.
Several of my female friends in recovery expressed an interest in reading more on the subject of women, sex & addiction when it was mentioned recently in a 12-step recovery meeting.I recalled having read excerpts from the above publication many years ago.I quickly went to the internet to look it up and found the publication, which I promptly purchased so we could all study it.We are now in the process of doing so.This was a much overlooked subject and area in field of substance abuse recovery for women.It is needed and women need to be more aware and educated.We all appreciate the insight gained from this book.Thanks to the author.

excellent
one of the best I have ever read. clear precise and to the point. Explains subtleties in detail. excellent writing.

Happy to receive the book
I am grateful to have the book. I have not had time to read it but this review is about "getting" it - not about the book. Thank you. It is in excellent condition as promised. ... Read more

Product Description
The classic guide by and for those recovering from sexual addiction examines each of the twelve steps of recovery.The personal stories of other recovering people highlight each step. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (3)

Basic Text of SCA, not SAA
Just as claraification: This book was written by anonymous members of the group Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA) and is the basic text of that group.I am a member of SCA and I have found this book extremely helpful.I would recommend it to anyone, both on the basis of a standalone book and and a possible introduction to what SCA is about.

It's not the basic text of SAA
I was checking out some recovery books on Amazon and noticed this review about "Hope and Recovery".I'm a member of Sex Addicts Anonymous and "Hope and Reovery" IS NOT the basic text of that fellowship.It is read, but it's not the basic text.If you read the Steps and Traditions in the book, and really the rest of the book, nowhere is Sex Addicts Anonymous ever mentioned in those pages.I'm not saying "don't read Hope and Recovery," I just want to make it clear that it's not the basic text of SAA.

"Hope and Recovery" is a good read especially if you're a sex addict seeking recovery.It's a great book to "identify" with the problem of sex addiction.What has helped me in my recovery program with sex addiction, however, is reading the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and the AA "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions"--the start of all 12-Step recovery programs.Though not an alcoholic, I can translate the problem as well as the solution to my sex addiction and my recovery from it, one day at a time.I use these two books more than I use "Hope and Recovery."

A very in-depth tool book of recovery for sexual addiction.
Hope & Recovery is the current basic text of SAA (Sex Addicts Anomyous, a twelve-step group for sexually recovering people). The book is designed for individuals who feel that they are sexually compusive and are looking for information on the addictive disease and "tools" to use to become and remain free from sexual addiction. Each of the twelve steps is explained in detail on how they can be lived daily for sexual recovery. A number of individuals tell their own experiences of how they lived their disease, discovered the hope of the program, and how they are currently living a life of recovery. The book is well written, sensitive, hopeful, and a continual must read through the journey of recovery. Definately Hope & Recovery. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

Eye Opening
This is a handbook which I believe is needed in our community. With so many suffering from various forms of addiction, this book seems to be an important tool to complete healing for victims and their families. It really opened my eyes to the lies and truth behind this addiction. If you or someone close to you is struggling, this is a MUST READ book. ... Read more

Product Description

Help and hope for men . . .

    * undermined by silent fathers
    * harassed by pornography and sexual temptation
    * afraid of failing those they love most
    * angered by past relationships with women

Help and hope for women . . .

    * lost in their relationships with others
    * betrayed by fathers, husbands or male leaders
    * wounded by sexual assault
    * paralyzed by self-hatred

Andrew Comiskey sees our weakness as "a threshold for holy power"--the point at which God can meet us for healing and equip us for service. He has seen it happen again and again. During many years of ministry, Comiskey, his wife, Annette, and their fellow "strugglers" have accompanied hundreds of wounded men and women to transformation at the cross of Christ. Telling real-life stories of despair, hope and lasting change, Comiskey lays out the foundations for healing from relational and sexual sin. With chapters focusing on particular areas of vulnerability for men and women, on the battle over homosexuality in church and culture, and on the essential role of the church in ongoing healing, Strength in Weakness makes clear the way to the cross--God's sufficient answer to our deepest needs.

Customer Reviews (2)

Really Useful
I found this book really useful in coming to grips with my own sexual brokenness.Not just for same-sex attractions, this gets at the root of why some people act as they do -- in often despairing, dissapointing ways, and this book helps provide insight to move beyond the guilt.

A solid read on an important topic
This is a solid book for those seeking to recover from relational brokenness and sexual wounding.I was impressed with Comiskey's understanding of the human condition, and specifically how imbalances in intimate relationships cause tremendous and long-lasting harm.He is a sharp thinker and has many useful ideas for people to work through their struggles.

I was also impressed that he didn't sensationalize the aspects of sexual sin (much of which I find disappointing in other books on this topic).He is frank and honest, but much more realistic and sincere about the underlying problems of relational and sexual sin than the wealth of authors who find tantilizing stories to needlessly illustrate what could easily be stated and understood in simpler forms.Some think that they need gross excesses in detail to build a relationship with readers who are struggling.You won't find that here.What you find is a friend who you can trust; someone who struggles but is more concerned with finding hope in that struggle and glorifying God.

That said, I didn't give it five stars because I think it needs a little editing.Some parts are a little wordy, others have references/quotes from people who aren't not entirely connected to the material.I'm not sure what his fascination is with John Paul II or Karl Barth, but they have an unusually large proportion of the supporting material.

All in all though, a good book, well worth reading and discussing. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

The authoritative study on sexual addiction
This book is the definitive text on sexual addiction.Whether you are facing your own struggles, or trying to understand and help someone else in your life, this is the book to begin with.Every page, every paragraph, every word is meaningful and insightful and helpful.
In any support group for recovering from sexual addiction, this is the book they talk about and recommend.
I would recommend this HIGHLY to anyone who struggles with obsessive or compulsive sexual behaviour, anyone living with such a person, and any counselor, therapist or professional dealing with the 15-20% of our population who suffer from this disease. ... Read more

Product Description

Real love is not addiction, nor is addiction love. But for many, these two experiences come together, resulting in tremendous pain and suffering. Through two previous editions, Is It Love or Is It Addiction? has helped countless people find their way from the trials and confusion of addictive love to the fulfillment of whole and healthy relationships. As psychotherapist Brenda Schaeffer reveals, we can begin to work through relationship difficulties with compassion and lasting effect by increasing our awareness of the ways that we express love.

In this expanded third edition, Schaeffer draws on years of feedback and new developments to foster an understanding of love addiction: what it is and what it is not, how to identify it, and, even more important, how to get out of it. Stories of real individuals struggling to develop sound relationships illustrate the characteristics of healthy love and help readers to free themselves to live life more abundantly. Included is the most up-to-date information about the biological basis of addictive behaviors and the impact of technology, sexual addiction, and relationship addiction on intimate relationships. The author also explores the influence of past abuse and trauma on the predisposition to love addiction.

Customer Reviews (14)

Is it Love or is it addiction?
I found this a useful extension of my previous knowledge on Sexual Addictions.I particularly liked her distinctions between Bonding Addiction (concept a little shaky), Addiction to Romance (valuable idea) and Addiction to Sex. Useful to distinguish between all three.

Well written.Good cameos to illustrate the ideas.Frank about herself.Appreciate that last one.

A Powerful Book for Change!!!
As I've been going through the process of my separation and
divorce, I recently read the book Is It Love or Is It Addiction?,
by Dr. Brenda Schaeffer, as a means of learning from my failed
relationship. I figure we can always learn things about ourselves
from our relationships, especially the failed ones.

The 3rd Edition of the book presents new information about
Addictive Love by making distinctions regarding "love addiction,"
"romance addiction," and "sex addiction." I've found it to be an
excellent read that is giving me greater insights into myself and
has helped me become aware of some unhealthy patterns in my
relationships.

What I also found great about the book is that it talks about the
characteristics of healthy belonging and relationships and
provides some exercises for moving into and maintaining healthy
relationships.

As you think about your relationships, or care to help others with
theirs, perhaps my review of this book will encourage you to check
it out, to gain some additional tools.

This book is bound to become a classic!
After suffering a painful, obsessive, unrequited love. I found this book that helps me a great deal. It opened my eyes, and helped me find the source of this addiction tracing way back into my childhood.

While everyone's source of love addiction is different, this book gives you a tool to understand the root of your own, buried deep in subconscious, and usually stem from childhood experiences.

The last part of a book gives a workshop type step-by-step guide to recovery. Recovery is never easy, of course. But this book gives a solid self-help guide to find the root of the problems and heal oneself with it.

Authoritative text on love and romance addiction
I found this book to be the current authoritative text on love and romance addiction.(For sex addiction, I recommend "Don't Call It Love" by Patrick Carnes.)Not only did I recognize myself in its pages, I also learned a lot of new material.

I especially enjoyed the chapter on "The Psychology of Addictive Love", which provided a clear-cut explanation of how addictive processes begin. Dr. Schaeffer's introduction to Transactional Analysis as a way of uncovering the trauma that triggers love addiction was insightful and thought-provoking.

If you or someone you know suffers from love addiction, then this book is a must read.

Great resource
Brenda has done a wonderful job of outlining the problem of sex, love and relationship addiction as well as offering clear and concise solutions. The update to this classic book makes it a must read for anyone treating this addiction or wanting a better understanding of this difficult problem.

Linda Hudson, MS, LPC

... Read more