Book Description

While we hear much about the "culture of poverty" that keeps poor black men poor, we know little about how such men understand their social position and relationship to the American dream. Moving beyond stereotypes, this book examines how twenty-six poverty-stricken African American men from Chicago view their prospects for getting ahead. It documents their definitions of good jobs and the good life--and their beliefs about whether and how these can be attained. In its pages, we meet men who think seriously about work, family, and community and whose differing experiences shape their views of their social world.

Based on intensive interviews, the book reveals how these men have experienced varying degrees of exposure to more-privileged Americans--differences that ground their understandings of how racism and socioeconomic inequality determine their life chances. The poorest and most socially isolated are, perhaps surprisingly, most likely to believe that individuals can improve their own lot. By contrast, men who regularly leave their neighborhood tend to have a wider range of opportunities but also have met with more racism, hostility, and institutional obstacles--making them less likely to believe in the American Dream.

Demonstrating how these men interpret their social world, this book seeks to de-pathologize them without ignoring their experiences with chronic unemployment, prison, and substance abuse. It shows how the men draw upon such experiences as they make meaning of the complex circumstances in which they strive to succeed.

Customer Reviews (1)

nice study, disturbing findings
Lots of books have been written about poor, black males in Chicago.There is the personal ("Our America"), the journalistic ("There Are No Children Here"), and the academic ("Slim's Table").In this book, the author tries to analyze how 26 young, poor black men think, and not just what they do or the choices they make.He has some very counterintuitive findings.

As great as a book this is, reading it can be depressing to the nth degree.The interview subjects are just clueless about how society is organized and how the marketplace is changing.They come off as so naive and uninformed!This could really help fortify racist fallacies about black mens' intelligence.

Further, the people in power who are most interested in hurting black men could have a field day with this book.The subjects almost never say racism is a big deal.They blame themselves entirely for what has happened in their lives.They believe that a positive attitude will change all their woes.This type of "pull yourself by the bootstraps" lets racism and classism in American institutions off the hook.

Further, this book may hurt people who believe in or benefit from affirmative action.The author observes that those who have had the most exposures across races and classes are the most cognizant of racism and classism in this country.Many people might read this and say, "Well then blacks would be less angry at others if they didn't observe us."or "If diversity makes blacks bitter, they should not be exposed to it." etc.Thank goodness the Supreme Court already stated that affirmative action is legal in Michigan where the author works.

Speaking of Michigan, I am surprised that the author did not complete his study there.Like Chicago, Detroit has problems with segregation, unemployment, and post-industrialization.Why keep making Chicago look bad when many urban areas are hard places in which to live for African-American men?

Despite my critiques, I enjoyed this book.I actually do recommend it for antiracist activists and other progressive thinkers. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

new men's devotional bible
perfect.compact.great study helps. I was looking for a travel Bible & a devotional.just what I was looking for. ... Read more

Book Description

Customer Reviews (5)

Great book!
This is a terrific book.Each story is different, but there is unity in how the men experienced childhood from a distinctively gay perspective.

Buy it
The authors included in here will astound.Very well conceived and produced.Each story is just short enough to keep you reading until you've realized the book is over.Joe Jervis is extremly talented and just happens to be my friend for over 20yrs.I'm proud to know him.I hope he is grateful to his muse Terrence.

An astounding read...
Each and every story captivates you with it's little quirks that you may or may not be able to relate to. And even if you can't, you can almost feel it happen to yourself as you read through it.

An honest piece of work put together by many of today's great writers. Definitely a recommended read.

The Boy I Was, The Man I Became
Thomas, David, Sean, Marc, Dexter, Johnny, Alex, Brian. I can remember their names and recite them like a roll call of saints and demons; the boys who, largely unbeknownst to them, drew me out of myself and let me to myself all at once in those years between the kindergarten-era dawning of my nascent queerdom tothe high-noon of becoming a full fledged 'mo. Some teased, some taunted, and some were tender. But we never, ever touched.

I thought I'd nearly forgotten them, but they're still with me. This book, with its highly readable essays, brought them back to me. But more than that, with every essay it brought back to me parts of the the boy that I was, introduced him to the man became, and let us finally finally embrace each other. Back then he wanted to know that everything would be turn out alright, like the boys in this book. Now I can assure him that it did.

The the rare book that can take you back to a time that wasn't necessarily a happy one when you lived through it, and not only make you want to go there but also make you want to linger. This is one of those rare books.

Some Things Never Change
This for-the-most-part very fine collection of 21 essays by gay men writing about growing up (there are two or three selections I would have omitted) reminded me of how much alike we all are and that their experiences and mine, even though we are separated by a generation, are essentially pretty much the same: wanting to be accepted by others, both at home and at school, the crushes on male straight friends, the trauma of playing center field, the fear of taking communal showers, being labeled sensitive or different and the feelings of utter aloneness. There was not so much the name calling then ("fag" and "faggot"), however; our differentness was just not talked about. Or as Lily Tomlin says so aptly in one of her monologues, in the 60's nobody was gay; we were just shy.

The editors include writers, some of them established, many of them publishing for the first time, with fascinating backgrounds: one writer whose parents tell him they are both gay ("Sleeping Eros" by Michael McAllister), another whose twin is also gay ("Competitive Lives of Gay Twins" by Michael Gardner), and finally one writer whose family lived in a converted school bus ("Aplysia californica" by Jason Tougaw).

The best essays in alphabetical order by author are "No Matter What Happens" (David Bahr), "Dick" (Alexander Chee), "Terrence" (Joe Jervis), and "Mom-Voice" by Vestal McIntyre. Chee writes with humor of his obsession from the age of eight with the male body and sex organ, both McIntyre and Bahr's essays are extremely moving accounts of a gay child's relationship with his mother, as is "Terrence," for that matter. Many of us have had a Terrence in our lives. Mine was "Daevid with and E." He wore expensive women's long mink coats, diamond ear studs; and when I drove him to the hospital on what would be his final visit, he wore a black lace baseball cap to complete his ensemble. Reading "Terrence" reminded me of how much I miss Daevid's humor, wit, courage and, most of all, his honesty. That essay alone is worth the price of the book.

Finally a word about "Inheritance" by Lee Houck. I cannot be objective about this essay as I have known his parents for over thirty years and Lee his entire life as well as most of the other people he writes about. Like a parent who looks up his child first in his school yearbook, I of course read this essay first-- and again-- and then a third time. This extremely well-written essay about Lee's alcoholic grandfather who apparently figured out early on that his grandson was different blew me away.

FROM BOYS TO MEN is a valuable addition to the writings of the gay experience.


... Read more

Book Description
This groundbreaking analysis illustrates for the first time how men who desired other men in the eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries consciously developed their own poetic language of same-sex desire, identity, self, and community. ... Read more

Book Description
1970s at the newsstand "Separation is great, as long as the separation is of my thighs." —Adults Only

Open your notebooks, sharpen your pencils, and get ready for a history lesson like none you've ever experienced. You're about to learn everything you could ever want to know about the world history of men's magazines—not magazines about sports, not fashion, not hunting or fishing or how to build a birdhouse in ten easy steps, but those titillating periodicals embracing the subject dearest to all heterosexual men's hearts and other body parts: the undraped female form. Former men's magazine editor Dian Hanson traces its development from 1900 to 1980 in six massive and informative volumes.

As Volumes 3 and 4 covered different aspects of the 1960s, Volumes 5 and 6 showcase the two sides of 1970s men's magazines. In Volume 5 we explore newsstand magazines gathered from around the world. See the effects of the Sexual Revolution in Germany, England, France, North and South America, Japan, Hong Kong, and Italy. Read profiles of Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Screw's Al Goldstein, and of lesser known, but no less fascinating characters like Peter Wolff, hippie genius of the True Sex genre, and gun-toting Myron Fass, last of the pulp-pushers. See the evolutionary end-stage of sex humor magazines, the overflowing abundance of big breast titles, the emergence of swinging as lifestyle and publishing niche, the curious phenomenon of reader-written erotica, more funny, amazing and confounding ads from the magazines' back pages and cap it all with the 70s' top five covergirls (and one coverboy).

Volume 5: 1970s At the Newsstand contains 460 full color pages of covers and magazine interiors and 18 chapters of information-rich text. Together with Volume 6 it forms a complete overview of men's magazine publishing of the 1970s. With Volumes 1 through 4, these two books complete the six-volume set of Dian Hanson's: The History of Men's Magazines. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (4)

men's magazine maybe
While the photos in this book are quaint, the info is very short of facts or wit. But then, who buys a book with a cover like this one for the articles? Really now...

A Cut-and-Paste Once-Over
I really wish I could recommend this book for anyone interested in the popular culture of the 1970s, but I can't. Hanson provides us with scores of photos of models from the era, but virtually no substance. What little text there is is grossly padded by having parallell columns in English, German, and French.

Hanson promises "in-depth" articles about five top models; instead we are presented three-paragraph puff pieces, at least two of which are in fact patently false.

I gave this book a three-star rating. I overrated it.

Misleading Cover Photo
Don't be mislead by the advertized cover photo. You won't find it in this book. There are a few poorly reproduced photos of Roberta Pedon, but not worth the purchase price of this book. The small amount of info on this model is inaccurate and almost seems ficticious. If your not buying the book for the cover model, the book covers a large variety of men's magazine with a very small percent of the Big Bust genre. I hope this helps.

A literature review like no other
The cover photo and the list of magazines that the author has been involved with should provide a good indication of what to expect in this fascinating book, in other words, not beautiful scantily clad female fashion models photographed by skillful photographers as appeared in Playboy and Penthouse (which are notably absent from this compilation), but the world of specialist - read unsophistated, tacky and bizarre - softcore porn as it was in the 1970s. Well, some photos are typical of Playboy and Penthouse, but the majority are ones they would not have considered.Of the 1,000 + illustrations most are of covers but there are plenty of internal ones also, including cartoons and graphics. Personally I find only a minority of them appealing or a turn-on but as an historical survey this is pretty good and several countries are represented. ... Read more

Book Description
Its not that men dont talk, says Dr. Gratch, its just that they speak a different language. Breaking down male psychology into seven factorsShame, Emotional Absence, Masculine Insecurity, Self-Involvement, Aggression, Self-Destructiveness, and Sexual Acting-OutDr. Gratch gives readers the tools they need to listen, and understand the inner world of men. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (11)

Would I listen???
How this book came to me is interesting but since it is a book review let's just say.....it was recommended by someone who assigned me a psychological reading list.
This book fit what the person "heard" but not exactly what I was saying. And it was a male. Hum. Interpreting a female who was very sad about dealing with men. At least for the moment.

So that all said my issue was a certain sadness in being truly unable to interpret a number of males in my life, from my son who is 11 and suffering a Sensory Dysfunction Disorder dealing with such frustration to my husband. He will laugh, if reading this and I predict will remark, " If I talk you will not listen. " And actually there is the specific reason I was interested in this book, as what I "hear" and what is said to me evidentally often are two very different things in my communications with men.

An even bigger issue maybe what I think I say when I communicate seems completely different to male ears. I think. Sadly it gets to be a valley often uncrossable here in the covered wagon days of my venturing into the wild west of trying to get to the other side. And yet, I really do far, far prefer to talk to men and have spent a lifetime enjoying their intellect, drive, rationalism, even at times theemotional and fascinating vulnerability they have going on. This book made me see perhaps a bit differently. I am afflicted with emotional barriers to the meaning, so have to strive to "get it".

Gratch is a good writer. I enjoyed the depth he brought to a bookat first take I thought it might be rather faddish. Wrong. He has taken from his clinical work clear exemplars and very interesting fresh story to illustrate the points he is making. As I love to make field notes in teaching and then write from them to meaning, this connected me to his text and a process in a different field. For a teacher, insightful. I have to admit that I would like to be in these sessions as a tiny little ant on the wall. I do visualize to get the points. Oh for the cloak of invisibility. But excellent job bringing the sessions to life. Several people in my life, I could envision as someone in particular in those shoes and that does help me understand the material. And as a result get the point. I think.

A funny thing happened I would read a section; say the one on emotional absence. This is no small issue for me interpreting as it triggers real buttons , and the section is very fascinating. Then I would turn to make some notes and think....what? It happened more than once leading me to conclude that the secret Language of Men might remain secret if I'm a carrier of the meaning then we are lost. There may be some truly different coping strategies employed male to female in a generalizable sense. It is not about the author please, the text is brilliant, it is about the receiver and her limitations.

As for the section on emotional absence one of seven sections I'll simply call keys to understanding male coping systems(boys don't cry-shame, I don't know what I feel-emotional absence, tired of being on top-insecurity, see me touch me-self involvement, I'll show you who's boss-aggression, I'm such a loser-self destructive issues, I want sex now-sexually acting out)...again I had to laugh as he compared this emotional distancing practice positively turning the table to a surgeon, we might well far prefer a surgeon capable of distancing from emoting. Yes..I see that as a very good thing. As we really would not want enormous emoting in that business. That capacity is indeed a very essential one in life, those employing it have good reasons, necessary in many aspects of maintaining in a life.

I'll give a personal exemplar of my take on emotional absence an area where men and women develop many fights he states...yesterday I dragged my husband on my walk. So for the first mile I asked questions and tried to elicit or engage conversation, he was silent. Eventually I gathered he was angry I dragged him along, using what he saw was a trick-guilt ("I'm not well yet and no one wants to ever do anything with me"-my tack-though not thought of that way). Finally he began to talk of work. That was removed from speaking to his feelings, safer (not an argumentative action in his view)and giving me what I wanted in his view, the sound of words. He is in a land negotiation with a bear and had a lousy experience last week so he was mostly just telling about this lousy experience which I always find comforting. This actually did satisfy me on some level though a long dialog on my value to his life would have been better but again, distance. It's comforting to just listen to a man tell about their work. Probably some bizarre carry over to my childhood. Anyway he said, "I always look for silver linings but this deal was so awful I couldn't find too much there.". Now here is where I did a rather wrong thing and contextualized by this chapter I know why. Prodding for my own needs for a personal interaction, ( I was wanting that loving couples walk like on the football viagra ads on TV-just the WALK part with the sweaters on the shoulders) I said something like, "When WE argue I don't think you find any silver linings. What I see is often an outrageously furious person." What a nice observation I thought a few minutes later...way to dig. Opps, too late.He then says....rather getting angry at my personalization, "I try to figure you out so I can fix it. That's what I'm trying to hear...what do you want now." And I had provoked this. Prodded someone choosing to be absent so not to argue.He was distant to cut off his initial irritation at being gotten up too tired to walk.So I had to stop, thank him and say, "I'm sorry. That's an awful load on you. I know that. Too much to feel just out on a simple walk, unfair of me. Way out of bounds, my foul." And actually he rather graciously moved into talking of another work issue.
And that is when I heard the book. Because that degree of literalism on his part I had not ever considered. I had not considered that he was always working on taking my talking in a moment and moving it into his actions. Actually I rather thought he did something like ignore me. Because of the distance and emotional removal aspect which feels this way. He was moving to actualizing and I'm not getting it. Very interesting as his was not a verbal process which I must equate with a necessary feature, showing emotion towards me could not be "gotten" in this walk and I didn't get that. Interesting. How awful. What I have to do is become a bit more aware of what I'm triggering. And I have to work on thinking in another's shoes. Really good book.

So now that is the weekly reader example of what really is a very good book addressing many things I have yet to contextualize and I'm enjoying this processing. Sure,yes, I recommend this book. Especially to women. I actually am not sure the men I know would really be ready to read this, isn't that interesting?

And WOMEN are supposed to be complicated?!
After reading this book it seemed to me that women are black and white compared with the insane complexity of men!Also, I thought women got the raw end of the deal with gender roles -- and undoubtedly they have -- but this book made it clear to me that we women are not the only victims here.
My husband is very quiet and totally incapable of expressing feelings unless they are positive or nuetral ones.I really, really needed this book.I read it quite a while ago and still rely on several important pieces of information, using them on an almost daily basis.
I latched onto the concept of emotional androgyny (the blending of stereotypical "feminine" qualities like compassion and vulnerability, along with the stereotypical "masculine" qualities like strength and courage, in individuals of both genders), something that hadn't occured to me prior to reading this.While I may have seen this as an appropriate goal for women, I never bothered to think that men would be equally liberated and more balanced by becoming androgynous.
Also, I take the teeter-totter effect in relationships into account: that if one spouse is hysterical, the other feels it is their role to be stone-cold, thus making the first spouse more hysterical; that if a role is not being fulfilled in a relationship between two people (protector, provided, worrier, nagger, sex-initiator) someone will always step in to fill the gap, forcing the other individual to take the opposite end of the teeter-totter, as with a worrying wife and a risk-taking husband; that the more you stress your role, the more the other person becomes the polar opposite of you (the more you nag, the less likely he'll ever do anything on his own.)
By not chattering on and on about my feelings as much, becoming more androgynous by being less forthcoming ("less forthcoming" being a masculine trait), my husband could step out of the role of listener and into the role of talker (a feminine trait).The transformation was instantaneous.Just to prove how profound this is, I suggest you try for one whole day to act exactly like your partner, never breaking character.You'll be shocked by how quickly they will start to resemble you instead of themselves, filling in the void you left on the other side of the teeter-totter.Work on becoming a more balanced person, ironing out your own imperfections, and his corresponding imperfections will likely dissipate all on their own.Whether they do or they don't, however, you'll find that you're leading a much more fulfilling and rich lifestyle, living outside of a gender-role box.
The only criticism I have, which is similar to that of another person who reviewed this book, is that the author did seem to suggest that a woman walk on egg-shells.Non-interference seems to be the rule of thumb (which is fine in most circumstances, but when a relationship or man is really out of control it's time to get your hands dirty) and sometimes his suggestions of how women should get their needs fulfilled seemed... sly.Dare I say... manipulative.Being honest and open never really seemed to be an option.
Awesome book though.Really changed everything.

What a gift
What a gift this book is, and what a great read.I coach individuals in emotional intelligence, but there are also men in my private life who resemble those in this book.

Why, just the other day I had a date with a gentlemen who drove 100 miles to my town to take me out to dinner.As we headed for a restaurant I knew well, in my hometown after all, that he had been to once, 5 years ago, he got lost and asked me not to say anything.??"OK," I said, "But it's right over there."I was, well, hungry.He said no, it was not right over there.After 20 minutes of driving in silence ("testosterone makes people silent"), he concluded that I "might be right" [if I'm RIGHT, he's WRONG] and permitted me to point out the restaurant just a few blocks away.He asked me out again, and I declined.He seemed to enjoy "hunting in silence" a lot more than I did.

And this, said Gratch, is how men end up in therapy.Only when they've driven themselves for a long time, and are totally lost will they ask directions, i.e., a busted relationship, getting fired, or some other crisis for which they can't find the map they wouldn't use if they had.Yes, men are men.

It's good to bear in mind though, as I tell clients to whom I recommend this book, that Gratch is talking about therapy clients.This is not the "average" man, and since Gratch is psychoanalytic, I'll throw in that I think they seem to have more than their share of the designer ailment "narcissism."

That having been said, it's a thoroughly delightful book.What you "do" with a man like this - who can't "talk," but there's a lot more to it - is not so simple, but, yes, Virginia, if you're looking for anything "simple" in terms of human relations, you're going to be frequently disappointed.You have to do a LOT of reading, and experiencing, but reading this book is a start.

Dr. Gratch gives enough direct recommendations you could put into place in a relationship to give us hope, e.g., when he picks on you because his boss yelled at him/he lost the golf game/he's put on weight, tell him, "Come back when you have something nice to say" and LEAVE HIM WITH THE FEELING.How else will he sort it out, and, more importantly, how else will you keep yourself relatively free of the projections?

I found this book helpful in coaching men in emotional intelligence.If you read the book carefully, you'll get a lot of Gratch's attitude, which is the key.He manages to be sympathetic but confronting, and also to retain his curiosity, sense of humor, and compassion, as well as being able to keep himself from getting entangled in the embroglio, which is a skill you need with someone who's not mindful about their emotions.

He does rely on the premise that it's their wishes to be feminine (or have the perceived advantages of being female) that should be considered.I prefer to look at the wellness and success that comes from knowing your emotions and being able to talk about them, and from being balanced with a full repertoire of qualities - whether labeled "female" or "male."The more you have to draw on when it's needed, the better you'll do, the more interesting you'll be to others, and easier to be with, and your enjoyment of life will generally increase.That's high EQ!

talking about feelings
I found this book extremely helpful.I coach men and women in emotional intelligence, and I also train and certify EQ coaches.I think we'd probably all agree it isn't THOUGHTS and IDEAS that the men who can't talk, can't talk about ... it's FEELINGS.I put that qualifier in there because it's important to note at the outset, that Dr. Gratch is a psychotherapist, and so the population of men he deals with are pre-selected as having this affliction.This is not a book about "men," but about men who have trouble knowing and expressing their feelings, i.e., low EQ.This is a very readable book, with many great examples.It's invaluable because lots more women than men show up for therapy, and since Dr. Gratch's practice is largely male, I couldn't wait to learn what he'd learned, and hear what he did about it.It will describe very well for you a certain type of man you know (we all do), and will help you to deal with them in partnerships, at work, and in your social life.

Know yourself
I really astonished to read myself while going over the pages. The book is so helpful to understand male behaviour. So, not only the suffering females but also the males themselves will learn too much from this book. Maybe it is not so easy to solve the problems, but to understand and accept the problems is a must to solve them..... ... Read more

Book Description
An eloquent portrayal of a disappearing way of life of the Long Island fishermen whose voices--humorous, bitter and bewildered--are as clear as the threatened beauty of their once quiet shore. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (3)

Almost 20 years later and I oftentimes think about this book
Shortly after the book was published I picked it up and read it while floating in my sister's pool.It was a summertime read.

The true story in this book is the story behind the culture of manhood as expressed through numerous anecdotes typically experience in a difficult (and dying) industry-commercial fishing.I read this book during a changing and growing period of my own life, and the story oftentimes lead to tears for me.

Having spent some of my young adulthood as a commercial fisherman I truly identified with the scenes that Matthiessen eloquently paints with his words.

Masculinity comes with a rather ambiguous set of expectations. Matthiessen reveals them without label, gently, even in the midst of anxiety felt by the characters in his book.

If you love the sea, if you want to understand manhood better, if you just need to float away into the surf of Long Island, read this book, but read it slowly.I think you'll find that much of what is written will find a place in your soul, whether you are man or woman.

Mens' Lives
Is basically a "diary-like" description of the fishing life on the southeast coast of Long Island from old times through today. Would be better and easier to follow if the book had maps and some diagrams (or photos) so that the reader gets a better idea of the techniques and equipment which are discussed at length in the book. Also, there really is no "story"....it is more like a disjointed personal journal, so its not as compelling reading as it might otherwise have been.

An excellent look into men and masculinities
An excellent dialogue about our culture's strict and rigid rules for masculinity.This book dispells some common misconceptions about the lack of sensitivity in men and provides feminist ideals that men can achieve. Kimmel and Messner's book gives a look not only into the lives of whiteheterosexual males, but males of all ethnic, racial, and religiousbackgrounds with differing sexualities.This is a much needed criticalreview of men and their role in society.I highly reccomend this book toanyone and everyone.Everyone can benefit from a look into the psyche ofthe american man. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

Great Book - Very insightful
The reviewer from Western Australia has either not read the book or has just scanned it.The authors do not link domestic violence with mental illness on the perpetrators side, encouraging the perpetrator not to accept responsibility. In fact, they state exactly the opposite, that assault and battering is a choice batterers make, and the authors repeat this over and over, almost in every page. In addition, the authors do concentrate on the power and control issues, as main motivators for the violence. You have to admit, however, that there is nothing 'sane' about someone hitting their spouses. In fact, this is criminal behavior.
The reviewer from Western Australia makes a statement that this book reminds you issues from the '60's. This is innacurate.In the '60's there was very little, if any, mention of domestic violence both in the psychological community/trade papers and in the penal code. This book was written in the early '90's, and most research quoted is from a few years before that. In addition, the issues of social/financial control and sexual agression are reviewed and properly addressed in the appropriate context of one opressor and one victim.
The book descriptions of the whole dynamics and overall process are very accurate, and, as an ex-battered domestic violence survivor I wish I had the chance to read this book when it was hapening to me, and not after.This book gives specific actions a victim should take in order to get away from a perpetrator and very insightfully explains why some people stay in unhealthy relationships and decide that they can best cope with an agressor more by staying in the relationship than by leaving, as many of us do.
Lastly, this book helps you in identifying prospective batterers in new people you may be dating, with specific red flags to look for.
If you are reading this, you are probably a victim, batterers do not seek help unless the courts orders it, and they are not interested in reading about this because they think they are right in hurting you (and that it is their right to do so). You have to take action now, dont wait until you are hit again because, as the authors rightfully say, it will happen again, regardless of you making up or your wishful thinking or the amount of time that passed since you were last battered. This book will tell you how to get out and stay out.

Disappointing book
When I first found out about this book, I wanted to read it - but found myself very disappointed.It does seems to have been written in isolation and does not reflect much of the current literature and ideas around domestic violence.

The author seems to want to link the presence of domestic violence, with mental illness or other type of 'sickness' within the perpetrator.I find this model unhelpful, as it tends to encourage the perpetrator not to accept that he is responsible for his actions, and therefore discourages his need to take responsibility and change.I believe that this philosophy is `old fashioned' and the debates around domestic violence have become much more sophisticated and complex since the 1960's.

It also concentrates more on physical assault and ignores the wider aspects of power and control - ie social, financial control, sexual assault etc.I found that his understanding of domestic violence was limited and naive.

It's one positive aspect is the fact that it `names' domestic violence in gay male relationships.Many authors are writing about violence in straight relationships, and there are a few who write about violence in lesbian relationships, however the existence of DV in gay male relationships is still in the closet.The presence of this book helps to change that.

Overall, I do not find this book to be very helpful for gay men in relationships where domestic violence is a feature. ... Read more

Book Description
1970s: Under the counter "Separation is great, as long as the separation is of my thighs." —Adults Only

Open your notebooks, sharpen your pencils, and get ready for a history lesson like none you've ever experienced. You're about to learn everything you could ever want to know about the world history of men's magazines—not magazines about sports, not fashion, not hunting or fishing or how to build a birdhouse in ten easy steps, but those titillating periodicals embracing the subject dearest to all heterosexual men's hearts and other body parts: the undraped female form. Former men's magazine editor Dian Hanson traces its development from 1900 to 1980 in six massive and informative volumes.

Volume 6, the final word in this encyclopedic series, is reserved for the most daring and extreme edges of the publishing field. In the late 1960s adult bookstores and sex shops spread across Northern Europe and North America to house an increasingly explicit crop of magazines resulting from the international sexual revolution. Magazines sold on the newsstand had to conform to mass taste and morality, but in the sex shops the only limits were imagination. In the 1970s, drunk on freedom, editor's imaginations ran wild. Come peek inside the sex shops of Denmark, Sweden, Germany, Holland and the US to see what liberation really meant. Read about Berth Milton, the man who toppled Sweden's obscenity laws with his magazine Private; the Danish Theander brothers whose motto was, "The First, The Biggest, The Most Pornographic"; Reuben Sturman, founding father of Southern California's vast sex industry; John Sutcliffe, who made gasmasks sexy with his Atomage magazine; and worst film director Ed Wood Jr.'s secret and surprising men's magazines.

Volume 6: 1970s Under the Counter contains 460 full color pages of covers and magazine interiors and 18 chapters of information-rich text. Together with Volume 5 it forms a complete overview of men's magazine publishing of the 1970s. With Volumes 1 through 4, these two books complete the six-volume set of Dian Hanson's: The History of Men's Magazines. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

Nice visuals, but nothing much else going on.
This is my favorite era of pulp, and seeing the hard to find covers is a treat. The author, a pornographer with vision, is like the Ann Coulter of girly mags--unfortunately righteous, horny, and self-important. One wishes that we were given a man's take on the models and photography instead of a women well over 50 preaching at us and presenting research as some sort of creative act. Buy it for the numerous reproductions of an era for the most part lost forever. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (17)

Very Insightful
This book does a good job of explaining the male psyche. It's a bit of a tough read at first (different mindset, long psychological explanations, etc) so I had to read it twice to understand and put everything together, but it is very interesting and accurate. The author is a male who spent years with mostly males, and felt the need to write this book as a result.

His goal was to help the many relationships that are ending or will end due to extreme polarization between the male and the female. He strived to help women understand the men they are involved with, how they think and why they do what they do. A very good book.

long and drawn out
This book is hard to keep focused on.I ended up going to the last pages in a matter of minutes.I've read better.

Redundant
I got bored reading the first chapter or so. I just went to the last part of the book and read the summaries. Useful and concise.

Great Content, But A Tough Read!
This classic relationship book is still selling well because of the insane popularity of new television shows like Sex and the City, The Bachelor, Joe Millionaire, and The Bachelorette.

Why are people buying these relationship books?

The answer for most women is because of the necessity to understand how men think and behave.Additionally woman need to appreciate men for who they really are because in today's popular culture, men can act very mysteriously.

Herb Goldberg's book is pre-Mars & Venus which I think is a more readable book than this one.But I got my start in studying relationships by reading Dr. Goldberg's other great work titled, "The New Male."

I read this book the other day because I'm doing research for my third book which addresses typical women's questions about today's reality romance shows.

In reading this book I found two parts that I think are very valuable.One is the section titled, "Men's Blind Spots:How He Distorts His Relationships" which has 12 specific behavior patterns described in detail (very right on).The other section I like is titled, "Loving Him As He Wants To Be Loved" which I think are very true and can help women create a more secure emotional attachment.

As a writer in this subject matter, this is one of those books that I like to have in my library so that I can refer to it from time to time on core relationship principles.This is not a book for entertainment, but one for reference.

I can't disagree with any of the other reviewers for this book.Some will find it redundant, others will find it informative, and many will think it's boring.But for a few dollars, you get some valuable information from a highly credible source.

If you're a woman who is confused by the mixed signals that men give off in love relationships, this book may offer you some clues.Just don't expect to be entertained or amused.This is serious stuff that is written in a more formal tone.But knowing men's love blind spots may be worth your while.(It was for me!)

How men show their love and affection
I read this book back in the 80s, when it came out.The title is not sexist; it's more about how men are conditioned to show their love for their families.They show their love and concern by "doing for," as opposed to talking and openly nurturing as women are expected to do.It answered some questions for me as a daughter and wife.It's definitely worth the time spent in reading.

As time has gone by, this book in some ways became a precursor to the "Men Are From Mars--Women Are From Venus" series of books which demonstrate how men and women think differently about life and love. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

this book changed my life!
I used to keep by feelings all bottled up inside.After reading this book I have decided to become more open.Why, just yesterday I told my wife she looked fat and that the casserole she made me for dinner tasted [bad].Sure she ran out of the room crying, but it further validated my thought process that expressing feelings are a healthy part of any relationship.

After I get back from the shooting range I plan to tell my boss a thing or two. ... Read more

Book Description
Ranging from fatherhood to machismo and from public health to housework, Changing Men and Masculinities in Latin America is a collection of pioneering studies of what it means to be a man in Latin America. Matthew C. Gutmann brings together essays by well-known U.S. Latin Americanists and newly translated essays by noted Latin American scholars. Historically grounded and attuned to global political and economic changes, this collection investigates what, if anything, is distinctive about and common to masculinity across Latin America at the same time that it considers the relative benefits and drawbacks of studies focusing on men there. Demonstrating that attention to masculinities does not thwart feminism, the contributors illuminate the changing relationships between men and women and among men of different ethnic groups, sexual orientations, and classes.

The contributors look at Mexico, Argentina, Ecuador, Brazil, Colombia, Peru, Venezuela, Chile, and the United States. They bring to bear a number of disciplines—anthropology, history, literature, public health, and sociology—and a variety of methodologies including ethnography, literary criticism, and statistical analysis. Whether analyzing rape legislation in Argentina, the unique space for candid discussions of masculinity created in an Alcoholics Anonymous group in Mexico, the role of shame in shaping Chicana and Chicano identities and gender relations, or homosexuality in Brazil, Changing Men and Masculinities highlights the complex distinctions between normative conceptions of masculinity in Latin America and the actual experiences and thoughts of particular men and women.

Contributors. Xavier Andrade, Daniel Balderston, Peter Beattie, Stanley Brandes, Héctor Carrillo, Miguel Díaz Barriga, Agustín Escobar, Francisco Ferrándiz, Claudia Fonseca, Norma Fuller, Matthew C. Gutmann, Donna Guy, Florencia Mallon, José Olavarría, Richard Parker, Mara Viveros ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

Good bye to machoism
Probably nobody would doubt that the name Matthew C. Gutmann stands for high-quality research on gender issues with special emphasis on masculinities. In order to make clear what masculinity in Latin America is all about Gutmann chose in his edition a wide range of aspects (men and urban life, fatherhood, homosexuality etc.) Thesehave been covered by different expers on gender issues and masculinities. One thesis which is expressed in different articles is that the changes in Latin American men have not only been brought about by the challenges from the feminist movement (which has been relatively weak in Latin America compared to Northern Europe and the US) but from the changes in the structures of Latin American societies as such. More women than ever before have joined the labour market and are now contributing to the family income, not to mention those who are the only breadwinners. Consequently, men have had to change and do domestic chores which just one generation ago would haven been unthinkable. This is clearly expressed in José Olavarria's essay on "Men at Home? Child Rearing and Housekeeping among Chilean Working-Class Fathers". It has led to a re-definition of masculinity in Latin America, and so far we can only see the beginning of a process of change which we have to watch carefully in the coming years.
All in all: the book is highly recommended to readers interested in gender issues in Latin America as well as in Europe and the U.S.A. ... Read more

Amazon.com
The quirky, engaging voice ofTonya Bolden seems perfectly suited to testify to the tenacious legacy of black men in America; her endearing enthusiasm and deep respect for African American men are irresistible, as clear in her first words as in the finest details of her sketches. "I am the daughter of a black man in America, granddaughter of black men in America, great-great-granddaughter of black men in America. I am a niece, cousin, sister, aunt--and have been a wife and lover--of black men in America. How can I not want to know about their journey?"

Bolden has taken an idiosyncratic approach in her tribute, but one that she pulls off with aplomb. Detailing the lives of over a hundred African American men, from the 17th century to the present, Bolden has made some expected choices, like Jesse Jackson, A. Philip Randolph, and Frederick Douglass. But she devotes considerable time to ordinary men, such as a small-town business owner in 1920s Oklahoma and a former slave who testified before Congress about being terrorized at the voting booth. Even some of Bolden's omissions, such as Paul Robeson, get their due by default, as we learn about the men who played important roles in their lives; a sketch of Robeson's father William Drew tells a more subtle story about the gifted actor and singer than we might have learned from more direct examination.

Despite Bolden's unusual approach and sometimes erratic choices, Strong Men Keep Coming tells its story well, a tale whose moral is "that despite the bondage, despite the postbellum oppression, despite the wretches and traitors to the race, strong black men--thinkers, creators, builders, fighters, givers of good things--they have kept and will keep coming." --Paul HughesBook Description
AN EPIC, EVOCATIVE HISTORY-FROM JAMESTOWN TO THE MILLION MAN MARCH "In her own special, provocative language, Tonya Bolden gives a voice to the voiceless, a name to the nameless. Revelations abound in Strong Men Keep Coming, her singular take on the endless parade of black men who have fought, sung, cajoled, tricked, worked, wrote, or roped their way into the American experience. . . . She has assembled a most rewarding cast, a phenomenal coterie of role models and phantoms, and she has done a splendid job of telling their stories."-Herb Boyd, coeditor Brotherman: The Odyssey of Black Men in America "Strong Men Keep Coming is long overdue [and] told in glorious detail.Bolden does an excellent job of obtaining information that's hard to come by."-Mosaic "Tonya Bolden has assembled an eccentric, eclectic, and highly readable collection of portraits of black male achievers. Bolden blends heartfelt tributes with humorous anecdotes."-Washington Post Book World Spanning four centuries, Strong Men Keep Coming captures the dynamic essence of the black male experience in America, shedding new light on towering icons like Frederick Douglass, W. E. B. Du Bois, and Malcolm X, while illuminating the lives of numerous forgotten strivers and pioneers.By turns triumphant and tragic, this vital collection brings to life the strength, courage, and tenacity of a truly remarkable brotherhood of men. ... Read more

Book Description

Updated and with a handsome new cover, this popular guide(170,000 copies sold) provides men with everything they need for dailyspiritual refreshment and renewal. Like an older brother, Bob Barnes encouragesmen to develop their character as they enjoy intimate, lifechanging encounterswith God.

Each days offering includes a short Scripture reading (anda key verse to focus on throughout the day), a simple but thoughtprovokingdevotion based on everyday life, a prayer, and action points that help guysapply what they read. These dynamic 15minute devotions will inspire,challenge, and equip men to grow closer to God and more effectively love andlead the people God has placed in their lives.

Customer Reviews (4)

Buy it NOW!You won't be dissapointed.
I was given this book as a gift from my father-in-law after a retreat.I have read many religious and philophical books over the years, and find that finishing them (or making time to read them consistently) is a big problem.This book is perfect!

It literally only takes 15 minutes (sometimes less, sometimes slightly more) to revitalize your faith, listen to God's word and its application to you (without being preachy), and see what actual grace God is trying to share with you.

I highly recommend this both to the "novice" religious reader, as well as the "well-read" Christian.Either way, there is a lot God has to tell you through His own words and through the words of Bob Barnes.

A great book for men
A good book to use as your daily devotion. Each section has a short scripture reading, a page or two of comments, then a section suggesting actions you can take relating to the topic. This is a great way to see what the bible has to say about the promises and expectations that God has for men.

A book for all men
When teaching Bible studies on prayer, I have often looked for a tool to help those new to prayer answer the question of "Where do I begin"? This book is a wonderful starting point in that no matter whatpage you start on, you will always find an inspirational message and aplace to begin your prayer time. I often find myself studying 3 or 4sections at one time.

What a WONDERFUL BOOK for our husbands
Bob really knows and understands how to reach our husbands. The way the book is laid out, it really seems to reach every man who reads it. It is wonderful the way Bob has written this book. It helps the men in our lives to open up and start sharing. I highly recommend this book for all the special men in our lives. ... Read more

Book Description
Questions about men and boys have aroused remarkable media attention and public interest in recent years. But what have we learned about masculinity, and where is our thinking on the subject headed? In this important book, R. W. Connell continues his pioneering work by taking the next step in understanding the dynamics of contemporary masculinity: incorporating the international dimension. The first sustained discussion of masculinity and globalization, The Men and the Boys links cutting-edge theory with fascinating case studies to point us toward change--in scholarship and public policy as well as in the lives of individual men.
This powerful book looks at a range of intriguing and controversial subjects, including the question of sex between men, men's bodies and health, education, the prevention of violence, and much more. It includes the voices of many men, both straight and gay, in a series of vivid life histories that include a compelling account of "iron man" Steve Donoghue and many others who describe coming to terms with their sexuality, their childhoods, and their experiences at school and work. As he reveals the price men and boys across cultures pay for patriarchy, Connell makes a persuasive case for men to change their conduct in order to create a more cooperative and peaceful world. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

The social construction of masculinity
One of the hottest topics in gender studies today is the study of masculinity and R.W. Connell provides a thorough investigation with "The Men and the Boys". Feminist explorations of gender in recent decades not only focused on women's concerns and life circumstances but also challenged assumptions about how social structures are constructed by gender. Occuring from these gender explorations is increasing interest in men and the social construction of masculinities. To only conceptualize gender in feminine interests neglects to understand how boys and men are socialized to be masculine which is important to our overall knowledge of how gender operates in society.

In "The Men and the Boys" R.W. Connell conceptualizes how masculinities are socially constructed and how they are fluid within historical, cultural, and social constructs. Masculinities exist outside the individual and are defined collectively in culture and are sustained in social institutions. They came into existence during social interaction and are a product of active construction. There is not one masculinity but rather multiple masculinities which can be diverse within the same social setting. Masculinities are hierarchical with some being more dominant while others are subordinated or marginalized, such as homosexual masculinities. The most honored and desired, although not necessarily the most common, is hegemonic masculinity. Hegemonic masculinity pertains to the image of the professional sports player or rock star that many men aim to be a reflection.

R.W. Connell is a pioneer in the study of masculinity, and this book provides a thorough examination of the social construction of masculinity along with social policy recommendations to help alleviate the negative reprecussions of hegemonic masculinity. I highly recommend this book to anyone interested in this fascinating new subject area. ... Read more

Book Description
Psychologist Elizabeth Levang, author of Remembering with Love, explains the special ways that men grieve so those who love them can better understand what they're going through. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (3)

Good book, primarily to help women understand men's grief
Honestly I think this is a helpful book in that after over 14 months I hadn't even cried hardly at all, and reading one of the stories in the book I cried for like a minute or two - so it was helpful inthat way for me.

But honestly I think this book is primarily for women and it really I think is helpful for women to understand men.It's a good book.But I don't think this book is that helpful for Men who are going through grief.

It's a good book, but it's more for helping women understand men, than helping men to heal, but for that it's an excellent book.

When Men Grieve:Why Men Grieve Differently and How You Can Help
Excellent book for explaining how men go through the grief process.Very helpful hints on how to help them.According to a male friend who I loaned this book, it's the best he has read and the most helpful.

An important healing tool for grieving men and women.
From this book we learn about the experiences of men grieving various types of losses and how different their reality may be from that of their partner. The masculine grieving style is described in eloquent, lyricallanguage and mirrors the experiences of many men who seek counseling andsupport in my bereavement groups. The author gives sound advice about howwomen can better understand and support men who grieve, while also honoringtheir own feelings. Additionally, this book points out how unfair it is forour society to raise young boys as protectors, providers, and thinkingproblem solvers and then expect them to suddenly become sensitive,expressive emotional experts in times of loss. This work is a reality checkfor women who grieve - a call to re-examine the level of our neediness foremotional support from the men in our lives. It vividly demonstrates howimportant it is for parents to help children understand and express theiremotions appropriately and to realize that doing so makes them bothcourageous and authentically human. ... Read more

Customer Reviews (1)

Best Men's Devotional
In a world filled with a plethora of devotional resources, this has proved to be an excellent devotional written with men in mind.Right on target!It's a key component of our ministry to men. ... Read more

Book Description
African American Men in College is a much-needed resource that includes examples of real-world programs and activities to enhance academic success in the college environment for African American men. The examples are collected from a variety of institutions across the country. With contributions from leading practitioners and scholars in the field, African American Men in College explores the factors that promote a climate of academic success. The book shows how participation in extracurricular activities can create a positive social climate and examines the advantages of developing communication and leadership skills. It shows how fostering relationships with administrators and community leaders can promote academic success. The book also describes a proven mentoring program and examines the role spirituality and religion can play in bolstering successful college experiences.

  ... Read more

Customer Reviews (2)

a dry read but good info
dr kevin rome of morehouse contributed to this volume

Represent, DeWayne Wayne!
This book is concerned that far fewer black men attend and complete college compared to black women.It asks what factors may help alleviate this and then gives examples of college organizations that try to address this disparity.This is not an anti-feminist text.In no way does it diminish the success of black women by focusing upon the lack of success of some black male students.This book has a nice diversity of topics.

The book is divided into two parts:academic studies and descriptions of organizations for black men.I think the two parts are intended to satisfy hardcore academics and laypeople just generally concerned about black males, separately.It may be a way to include both theory and practice.The chapter "Helping African-American Men Matriculate" is just a summary of part one by the editor.Part Two has no summary and thus the text seems asymmetrical.Further, the book should have really been divided into three chapters:academic dynamics, subpopulations of black male students, and then organizations.To be honest, the book is a bit longer than it had to be, but maybe that emphasizes the seriousness of the issue.

I was both excited and disappointed by the chapter "African American Gay Men: Another Challenge for the Academy."On the one hand, it is great that the book is not heterosexist.It doesn't assume that black men need to be educated because they are ALL going to have wives and children to support one day.However, the chapter is more sociological than political.At one point, it says "Black gay men may not feel comfortable with the flamboyant white gay men on campus."True, but let's not forgot that some black gay men can be flamboyant too.It says, "Black gay men may be shocked by the lack of religiosity among other gays."Yes, but there are black gay male students that are not religious or embrace atheism.The book never mentions that some black gay men may flee to college campuses to come out away from their parents compared to straight black men that may be romantically satisfied with their home environments and thus see no need to go somewhere else like college.Keith Boykin, a black, gay activists, and many others have anecdotally said that colleges seem to have huge numbers of gay men and athletes in their black male populations.When Oprah Winfrey covered "the down low" phenomenon on her show, she included a black female college student who said the dynamic is trendy among her male counterparts.So little of this gets addressed.As a black gay man, I was frustrated by this chapter.Hence, I wonder if black athletes will be frustrated by the athlete chapter or black students leaders on the leadership chapter, etc.I also wonder why the book lacked chapters on black male immigrant students and black males who are Muslim.

This is a nice book, generally.I just wasn't as blown away by it as I thought I would be. ... Read more

Book Description
In one comprehensive volume, the revised and abridged edition of The New Handbook of Psychotherapy and Counseling with Men offers clinicians a guide that includes the most current research, theory, effective techniques, and strategies for treating men (no matter what their background or age) in a wide variety of situations—from on-the-job to in the cell block. Written by leading clinicians, educators, and researchers with vast experience in the field, this definitive handbook offers practical advice for working with male clients who are often stubbornly resisting therapy. ... Read more

Book Description

A comprehensive, take-anywhere exercise program designed to improve men's strength, flexibility, balance, and posture

Customer Reviews (19)

Excellent!
This book is exactly what I needed. Exercises are well explained. No boring stuff around, goes straight to the point. I already feel better...

Great workout for Body and Mind
I am a great fan of no equipment/body weight exercises. It is amazing what level of fitness can be achieved by following the exercises as outlined in D. Lyon's book and i fully endorse the other positive reviews on this book. The book is very user friendly with precise descriptions of the exercises and specific recommendations for men with tight hamstrings, hips, etc. It's very easy to build up your program step by step over time and you will see results very quickly (at least I did in terms of core strength, slimmer waistline and more muscle tone).

I use this book along with David Swenson's great Practice manual on Ashtanga Yoga and between the exercises of these 2 books and occasional runs in the park I will stay busy for the rest of my life. The great thing is that I don't need to spend a dime on gym memberships, equipment, etc.

One of the best books out there!
As a male I was very skeptical about Pilates. The first time I was introduced to the excercise was on t.v., during a Mari Winsor infomercial. After months of contemplating whether I should buy the videos or not, I did. The videos were no good, not enough information. I waited awhile before getting into Pilates again. Thanks to Brooke Siler I wasn't waiting that long. I bought her book and enjoyed it very much, but it wasn't untill I bought Pilates for Men that I actually felt right about the way I perform